poisons n antidotes

Take the power back

2010-05-22T02:05:00.000-07:00

The first of May might not have meant much for most people out there.

But Greeks held that day to their utmost importance this year, as riots took place to demonstrate against the government for the country's bankruptcy. And on 5th May, they held a nationwide protest.

I have been following the news just to find out what will happen to Greece if it does go bankrupt. Who will own the country then? Will it be wiped out the map? Will the people turn into slaves? Or will some Arab or Russian billionaire buy the country? Yes, i am THAT naive in world economics.

It comes to a boring conclusion. A bail out. Well, of course i expected Superman to come and rescue the Greek people and expel the perpetrators from the country, but he the man who wears his red spandex outside was nowhere to be seen.

So what really happened? To explain it in simpler words, the Greek government overspent in some large scale projects (in other words, profligacy of the government), such as the Olympics in Athens in 2004 which went over the budget according to the BBC, just to state an example, and was not able to repay the loans and bonds, made easier to borrow due to Greece's membership in the Eurozone, which had swelled due to the increasing interest rates. Plus, tax evasion cost the government about 40 billion euros, a white collar crime committed by the higher hierarchy of society ; doctors, lawyers, engineers.

The economy downgraded Greek citizens to the point of being peasants for the government. Pay cuts, tax hikes, pensions reduction were some of the austerity measures planned by the current government. The hardworking people of Greece who had done nothing wrong are suffering while those criminals run away without any trace of evidence. I've got sympathy for the current socialist ruling party of Greece because the dirty job of overspending was done by the previous government, the New Democracy.

Owh Superman or maybe Supergrandwoman did arrive in the form of German Chancellor Angela Merkel. However she is working with an indifferent partner, something like a Superman-Lex Luthor partnership. Yes, it's the IMF. IMF disguises as a friend who comes to you and asks you, 'You look rather penniless, want some money?', only to stab you with a high interest rate later. Ah long, big time. As a result the public sector is affected. For example, the south American countries and some other countries which have resorted to the help of IMF have higher cases of tuberculosis due to the impairment of the health system which are not rich enough to supply adequate medication to save the population.

So the German parliament have decided to fund part of the bailout of Greece, along with the IMF which in turn angers the German population. Why? Because it's the taxes of the hardworking Germans which are being used to rescue Greece. And what if Greece won't be able to pay them back? Would Germany itself become bankrupt in the future? Greeks are also against the help of the IMF for it would only result in higher debt.

Angela Merkel said they have no choice. Anyone could turn a blind eye on Greece but the risk of Euro collapse would be higher if they did so and a chain reaction of economic breakdown would ensure. Germans have lambasted the move, while some other people have lauded the approach. Some Germans want a return back to Deutschmark, so that they won't be responsible the next time a European country goes bankrupt.

This event draws parallels with the American economic crisis 2-3 years ago. However that was worse. The story is too long to tell but i will try to sum it up in 2 paragraphs. Mortgage loans or housing loans were on the up in the early half of the decade, and as a result a lot of houses were built for the anticipation of the same trend in the next half. Banks invested by buying theses housing areas but this oversupply of houses resulted in a reduced value or price of these settlements. So banks started to give out subprime mortgage loans, loans given to those who have an unfavourable credit ratings (poor earners who were tricked by these money moguls) with adjustable-rate mortgage in order to sell these houses. So in the long run, they are paying more than the initial value of the house due to the hikes of interests.

Banks do that to cover their own faults in finances and their debts, and certainly, in order to earn more. As expected, these people are not able to refinance their loans as they were tricked by the banks. Banks take back the houses and made them theirs but at the same time, the banks were running on empty as their initial investment or overspending of the housing areas were at a loss. So here comes Captain America, George W. Bush to the rescue!

He sanctioned a $700 billion USD bailout of the banks that were affected in the crisis and whose money is that? It's the money of the hardworking people of America. Some of the people involved might get a slice out of the deal. One of the banks, AIG, which sponsored the best club in the universe (Manchester United) decided to hand out part of the money as bonuses to its financial service division. The criminals ran away, again.

I think Malaysia has overspent in the Dr M regime, only to be saved, according to Tengku Razaleigh by the money generated from Petronas and its petroleum industry. It was risky but how else could you describe Dr M.

Believe me, Dubai will be the next to crumble. Not that i pray for it, but their finances have been unstable lately and the fact that they are working with American 'financial experts' is a big risk for their economy.

In other unrelated news, the deputy prime minister of the new British government, Nick Clegg decided to give power to the people by allowing them to name the laws which they want to be scrapped. So if you don't like this or that particular law, drop the new government a message and they will scrap it. However i think this is just ridiculous. It's the case of the new government trying to give that first impression on the people. If a law were to be scrapped, then it has to go through a bureaucratic process, i would think, before it is finally dropped so that they could discuss the pros and cons rather than practice a veto power in the parliament which requires 2/3 of the votes of the ruling party.

Secondly, some might have an impression that a government which needs to be told of which laws that need to be scrapped is a lazy and incompetent government. Why couldn't they think of it themselves?

It pains to be a European at this very moment. In the United Kingdom you can express your views on the laws.

While in Malaysia, the people are so rich they are allowed to gamble in the world cup. I can't understand the logic of 'legalising' gambling. Why would they want to curb 'illegal gambling' during the world cup only to allow a 'legal form' of gambling? Why don't they just curb gambling all together, because these gambling addicts will eventually go gambling on the internet? By allowing only one license to that tycoon to handle world cup gambling, it means that all other gambling businesses, big or small for the world cup may be sued as they will be qualified as criminals. This is a monopoly of business which is punishable under US laws (Microsoft was sued once for this).

But in the end, Malaysians are not allowed to tell the government of the laws they want to be scrapped. So live with it. Gambling is legal for the world cup if you've got license.

PS : A rather incoherent post with a rather unrelated title. I hate editing, that's why i haven't written for a very long time because i don't want my articles to be as lengthy as this one. It was partly due to some other commitments too :). However i hope you are able to finish reading it.

PS : I highly recommend watching Michael Moore's Capitalism : A love story.

Say goodbye to Cikgu (insert a masculine name here)

2010-05-22T00:36:00.000-07:00

Although World Teacher's Day is celebrated on the 5th of October, it is celebrated on the 16th of May every year in Malaysia, coinciding with the date the Razak Report, which according to Wikipedia was one of the four documents that reformed the Malaysian Education system, was announced. It included the formation of a single system of national education, Bahasa Malaysia as the medium of instruction, formation of national and national-type schools (sekolah jenis kebangsaan).

That's a piece of history for you, if you were, or are a part of this education system.

I would imagine that the ideal situation for a teacher is for him or her to teach an elite school with good or even excellent students, where the facilities are A++ and the food are great. But of course, there are those stuck in rural areas where teaching is made hard due to the lack of basics of pre school education among students and an uncomfortable teaching atmosphere. I would certainly opt for former.

Regardless, teachers are the ones who can boast of producing all the talents you see around you.

But teaching these days is regarded as a second rated profession, a profession that earns little, so on and so forth, as all the stereotypes go. When it comes the time to choose a profession, of course the 'first class' choices would be these : doctors, engineers, lawyers and accountants. I would put teaching on par with those professions, as educating people is no easy job. The process of knowledge transmission of course requires you to be the master of your own circle before you could pass it down to others, and additionally, that process requires a methodological approach in order for them to understand.

There have been ups and downs of education in Malaysia. I still remember when i fully supported Dr M's suggestion of PPSMI and was very disappointed with the final resolution. Then i asked a friend whose mother is teacher in a rural area and he told me some of her students can't even understand the subjects even when they were taught in Bahasa Melayu. So how could they possibly understand Maths and Science in English? By saying that, i don't mean to belittle them but some of us are luckier to have come from families with an educated background.

Of course, the main goal you often hear of teaching is the 3M policy. Membaca, Menulis, Mengira. We are still a developing country so i guess it's better for us to stick to BM as the medium of teaching. It is important for the government to stick to their principles as frequent policy changes might affect the quality of teaching itself.

Then there's the issue of lack of male teachers in Malaysia, with a possibility of going extinct in 20 years time. This was in last year's News Straits Times, around August, which became one of the talking points with a friend in a Yellow Cab pizza restaurant in KL. According to his blog, it is understandable that males are traditionally the bread winners in the family, and a teacher does not earn much and therefore it becomes rather unpopular among males. A government spokesperson commented that a fresh graduate could earn up to almost RM2,600 in the link i gave you. The question is, would there be a side effect of having only female teachers in school? Would all the male students become girlish after their 11 year study in the Malaysian education system in the future? I don't know the answers, but i do want the presence of male teachers around schools just for the balance of it all.

The title of this post is dedicated to this above paragraph. Completely misleading title if you had expected something else.

For a comeback, i think i just blabbed too much. I am lucky to be taught by excellent teachers all my life compared to others who never went to school or have to stop due to financial constraints of their families. Education is everything and informally, it is a life long process from birth to death which starts from the basics taught in school.

To all my teachers, the human engineers, although i doubt there are any reading this, and to all the teachers out there, happy teacher's day.

winter wonderland

2010-03-26T16:34:00.000-07:00

Deep inside the hearts of inhabitants of any tropical or hot country lie that childish wish for snow; to be sunk in the depths of waist level thick snow, snowball battles or quite simply to catch a gaze of icy flakes falling down from the gloomy sky. I was practically a snow virgin when i arrived : never been touched, kissed or hugged by snow, and so were most of my friends. It's just one of these images hung inside the head of those wanting to study overseas. The other image is probably the picture of yourself, feeding pigeons in a large city square somewhere unknown, somewhere foreign with historical buildings as the backdrop. Well, i saw the snow and even got bored of it at one stage, but there were no pigeons here in Volgograd, probably because there are no city squares to feed them.

Me? I imagined watching my beloved Liverpool FC at Anfield week in and week out. I would describe that as a 'not-so-noble' intention to study overseas and eventually i got to study here in Russia. Of course i would have loved to study in Liverpool, but i am lucky enough to be where i am today.

After 6 years of Russian winter, it should be enough to qualify us as modern day eskimoes. They should hand me a certificate or something, with such proclamation :

‘Congratulations for being part of the Eskimo brotherhood. May the thought of the extreme weather remind you of us wherever your legs take you to on this planet.’

The sun becomes a little shy and the rays of light penetrate the clouds only a few hours a day. At times the sun ablazes itself on a cold winter day, but even the slightest slice of warmth could hardly be felt.

So you have a Malaysian trying to adapt himself in an alien environment. He wears a thick jackets to make himself look extra cuddly. He fashions a snow cap to so that his brain won't freeze. Earmuffs don't apply with his taste. Gloves and socks to prevent the frost from biting his fingers and toes. A decently thick pair of shoes And that custom made beard would be an extra help to make yourself warm, well a bit at least. He steps out of the hostel, and the breeze enters his allergic rhinitised nose, and that makes it extra hard to breath. Some surfaces are better left for skating purposes, but he has to try to balance himself on them because at times it's the only route.

At times, it was pretty much challenging to go to class, but it was all compensated by the beauty of observing the seas of white and the endless stretch of snow. There was this moment, in my last winter when the snow, trapped and hanged on tree branches melted and afterwards crystallized to become tree shaped diamonds glistening, reflecting the sunlight as it stood there in between the seas of snow. Unfortunately, i forgot to bring my camera and the crystallized trees disappeared the next day. And if you are observant, you will realize that the snowflakes have different shapes, as if there were thousands of moulds for these snowflakes up there in the sky.

However, winter has always been pictured as a time of distress, the delicate balance of night and day lost with a predominance of the moonlight over the sunlight. But it's actually a 'spring' for Muslims, as mentioned by the Muslim theologian Hasan al-Basri, “the best time for the Mu’min is the Winter. Its night is long so he does Qiyaam, and its day is short so he fasts it.” As a guy who loves his home more than the outdoors, i can't give a better reason of not going out for any kind of invitation while winter's pouring through the window pane. Hibernation is the word commonly used.

Legend has it that during the second world war, the Russians were up against a much superior force in the form of the Nazi army. They were no match for them in terms of war machines, the Germans were more sophisticated, equipped with weaponary Russians could only dream of having at that time. But winter struck, and it was a wicked winter in Stalingrad (now known as Volgograd), which the Germans were invading. They never had such extreme weather there and with nature's help, the Russians fought back and eventually the Nazis were defeated. It's amazing how weather is able to affect such an outcome in history.

Above all else, i remembered a khutbah in the mosque a few years back here in Volgograd, of the allegory of the four seasons to life itself. Spring is compared to childhood when everything starts to bud out from the trees, summer as adult life full of responsibilities, and autumn as the time when we are already old, waiting for the death to come, which is winter, when the nature appears to be dead. So if you have not prepared yourself for the impending winter; by buying jackets, gloves and thick socks, you will be facing winter with difficulty. The same goes to life. If you're prepared thoroughly by performing the good deeds and leaving the bad aside, then God willingly, you will have a good time in the hereafter after death has been prescribed upon you. Winter is followed by spring, when everything will come back to life again. The trees which were better prepared, the ones that stored the bulk of food for them to survive the winter comes back to life happily.

Of course, death is not the end of the journey, and it's the same for us humans, when we will be raised back up to face the Creator after death, to be judged by Him, whether our lives were fruitful or we were just quenching our desires. Most people question the realities of life after death. And it's nothing new. There are verses which the Prophet Muhammad would have probably recited to the unbelievers of life after death, of resurrection, for them to reflect and think.

41 : 39 And among His Signs in this: thou seest the earth barren and desolate; but when We send down rain to it, it is stirred to life and yields increase. Truly, He Who gives life to the (dead) earth can surely give life to (men) who are dead. For He has power over all things.

Another verse which interests me regarding the resurrection is the Prophet Ibrahim A.S and his request to observe resurrection directly from Allah.

2 : 260 And (remember) when Ibrahim said, "My Lord! Show me how You give life to the dead.'' He (Allah) said: "Do you not believe'' He (Ibrahim) said: "Yes (I believe), but to be stronger in faith.'' He said: "Take four birds, then cause them to incline towards you (then slaughter them, cut them into pieces), and then put a portion of them on every hill, and call them, they will come to you in haste. And know that Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise.'

There are a few theories of why the Prophet Ibrahim would ask such a favour. Some say he stumbled upon a dead body or a donkey carcass or a dead fish; some theorize that it was because Namruz or Nimrod had denied his claim of life after death. But humans are reckless beings, and some would not believe that such event would take place. And regret would eventually engrave them when the time finally comes.

32 : 12 If only thou couldst see when the guilty ones will bend low their heads before their Lord, (saying:) "Our Lord! We have seen and we have heard: Now then send us back (to the world): we will work righteousness: for we do indeed (now) believe."

Some things happen for us to reflect as to why God had planned something in a particular way. And in this case, we could take heed from nature's advice, that's spring comes after winter. That life exists after death.

Updates

2010-03-26T16:29:00.000-07:00

I am obliged to say sorry to those who frequently visit my blog and found nothing updated. I have been busy, but i don't think that's a viable reason for me not to update my blog.

Actually i have a bulk of ideas (duhh.so cliche) which have been jotted down some ways or another. I have written some half way, so i need some editing perhaps. All in all, i am just making up excuses and not getting the job done. I love to write but i don't like to edit. So here's one i spent time writing on a few hours ago, unedited. So if there are any grammatical errors, or spelling or whatever, i just hope you understand what i am trying to convey because it has been awhile and the writing engines have dampened a bit.

Hopefully i will update my blog consistently.

23rd February is Men's day in Russia

2010-02-23T00:26:00.000-08:00

"How many roads must a man walk down, before you call him a man?"-Bob Dylan , 'Blowin in the wind'.

What defines a man? Is it due to his ever growing beard or the receding hairlines? Or is it because he reads newspaper and is enthralled by politics? Or because of his voice, when he talks and everyone else listens to him?

There are clear signs which signify the metamorphosis of a boy to a teenager. Voice becomes husky. Hair starts to bud out in barren places before. And you start to have a hobby; collecting stamps, reading, music, you know, the cliche stuff. The pimples. Hormones go haywire and you start peeking at the opposite sex. However, the jump from being a mere teenager to a man is a mystifying leap in a boy's life. Generations after generations, the baton is passed down from the grandfather to the father, and the father then passes it down to the son. Like a 4x100m relay.

'Hey son. Take this baton. You're a man now. Go, and change the world.'

The thing is, nobody really knows when they'll accept that baton of manhood. The borderline between a teenager and an adult or a man is obscured in the clouds.

But really, tell me, what defines a man? Car loans? Mortgages? Can you say that a man is a male who starts paying bills on his own? Or the one who ties the knot and commits himself to a girl? Or is a man the person who summons all of his wisdom to solve all the problems he faces? Or when he decides to have kids of his own?

Those questions were rather rhetorical. Nobody really knows when does he become a man. And Bob Dylan answers the question in the same song, 'the answer my friend is blowing in the wind.'

And as for me, there are certain things which still spark that youthful exuberance, that, of course, excludes my looks because i do look like a man in a midlife crisis; the receding hairline, untrimmed edges of my beard, the thick lens which adorn my glasses. I still support the same Liverpool side, i still listen to some music from my youth, i still waste a lot of my time, which i think a man should not be doing since he knows there are much better things to do, like saving the universe. Well, i still buy S-sized t-shirts thinking that my body is as sexy as it was 4 or 5 years ago. And i only realized that my dream of becoming a musician passed away 3 years ago, all the time i was already deep into studying medicine.

I am still stuck in that man-boy realm, that intermediate stage which neither defines me as a youth nor a man.

Of course, i am waiting for that signal too, the signal for me to take hold of the baton and become a man by heart and by soul. That's the real mysterious part, because the signal almost always never comes. It's just pure instincts, i guess, which make a man realize he has entered a new phase of his life, manhood. The Qur'an states that a man would fully attain the age of full strength at 40, an age where one could assume that he has enough experience to weigh and solve each problem as it arrives at his doorstep. The Prophet received the first revelation when he was forty himself, while meditating in a cave on Mount Hira'.

46:15 We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months. At length, when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years, he says, "O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Thy favour which Thou has bestowed upon me, and upon both my parents, and that I may work righteousness such as Thou mayest approve; and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly have I turned to Thee and truly do I bow (to Thee) in Islam."

And as Russia celebrates its Men's day on the 23rd of February (actually it's a day to celebrate people involved with the army, but has evolved to become the men's day), i would like to wish all my male friends, may Allah make us more bold in our judgement, more wisdomful and hopefully more handsome for the years to come. Let us all become better people.

Happy men's day.

Relax and unwind : the UK and Eire trip

2010-02-06T11:05:00.000-08:00

At long last, i've arrived to room 92 on Hiroshima Street 8 on a cold, frosty evening on the 5th of February, which was a Friday. My home, my shelter. I've got a good few months left to call it my home, and then i'm off for good. The icy cold air wafting through the scotch taped creases of the old wooden framed windows reminds of the Dublin nights i had in a friend's apartment a few days ago. The cold in Dublin was much more severe since there was no centralized heating system in that apartment, so we had to envelope ourselves in sleeping bags to warm ourselves for dreamland. I've always thought that sleeping bags were meant for outdoors ; jungles or forrests or expeditions, so my first experience of sleeping in those cosy cocoons is actually a contrast to my old presumption. After almost 6 years in Russia, i've finally realized there are better things here, and the centralized heating system is just an example of how some things are more efficient (there's an abundance of natural resources like gas and petroleum here).

After visiting Spain and Italy in 2006 and 2007 respectively, i've lost quite an appetite to travel European cities since all i saw were old historical buildings and i'm not that much into architecture. But it's my last winter, so i thought, 'Well, this might just be the last chance to travel Europe', and so i did go to a few cities in the space of 2 weeks with a few old friends of mine. Berlin, London, Manchester, Liverpool, Leeds, York, Dublin, The Burren, Belfast. By far this was the best since there's a blend of visiting a country (England) you know so well of, meeting a lot of old friends and seeing new ones, and we not only visited the cities to go shopping, but there's a slice of nature in our visits to the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland and the Giant's Causeway in Northern Ireland. Plus, i really liked the walking tour of Berlin in which we almost froze to death in that cold Berlin winter. The Glasweigian tour guide explained a lot about the history of Berlin and the tour was interesting; both the Scottish accent and the information.

The Cities

Of all the cities, Manchester was a bit dull and gloomy. We arrived at around 3 in the morning and a friend of a friend took us to their house for the night by bus. I still remember a half sober guy entering the double deckered bus with Chuck Palahniuk's majestic 'Choke' cramped in between his arm and body, and along the way, the city looked zombified in one way or the other, on the verge of apocalypse. 'It's 3 in the morning, too early to judge', my curious mind whispered. But after a day in Manchester, i realized that the city was not really buzzing, and the only thing appearing in my head was Joy Division's (a Mancunian band) classic song, 'Love will tear us apart', a dark, gothic tune which exemplifies the atmosphere in Manchester. But besides Joy Division, Manchester have spawned other more 'joyful' bands like the Smiths and Bee Gees. Nevertheless, i enjoyed the company of one of my friends currently studying in Manchester and the stretch of road with halal restaurants decorating the streets on your right as well as on your left. The halal food heaven in the UK. We ate a plate of pilau rice plus half a chicken for dinner, but that plate of rice is actually an amount to serve 2 males or 3 females. I even went to Old Trafford on the eve of the Manchester derby and met a friend who was attending the game. 'I've shopped 3 times in 2 days at this Megastore'. he proudly mentioned. That was how fanatic he was. The other cities were typical of other European cities i've been to; old buildings and a lot of history which don't really interest me. All the cities were beautiful, of course and i loved all of them.

Special mention goes to the Cliffs of Moher and the Giant's causeway in Northern Ireland and the Irish countryside (since we travelled by car and were able to enjoy the green fields and sheeps of Ireland!). They were all really beautiful. Nature never fails to amaze me. The marvellous natural architecture, of cliffs and weirdly shaped stones, of the green grass which could be mistaken for an artificial Persian rug, the azure skies with fluffy clouds which were lower than any other clouds i've seen. God's creativity, God's artistry.

Religion

There are 2 religions in the UK. The first is divine faith and second, football. I was lucky enough to be in Manchester on the night of the Manchester derby, and there were loads of people parking their cars miles away and others who live in that 1-2 km radius from Old trafford who would walk all their way to the stadium. 'That's passion for you,' retorted my friend after i asked him on why they would do such things as we passed by the stadium on our way back to his house. It's like a communion, a congregation of sorts. It was like a divine event of significant proportions. Instead of singing of saints and prophets, they would chorus about their idols; Ryan Giggs the legendary winger, Paul Scholes who is bad at tackling, so on and so forth. Regarding the divine faith, i was perplexed to find a multi faith prayer room in one of the shopping centres in the UK. It was an empty room with wooden floors and the direction to the Qibla stamped on the ceiling (the direction Muslims pray to, which points to the Kaabah in Mekah), a large cross, a statue of Jesus and an ablution room all inside the prayer room. Obviously, Muslims would use it more frequently since we are obliged to pray 5 times a day. And the room itself was enough to convince me of the level of religious tolerance there in the UK. However, i proceeded to ask my friend whether there's any religious persecution there to confirm my theory and he answered,'There's no such thing as that.' I have to say at this point i could be best described as 'dinosaur masuk pekan' or 'peghak' in my native language. That was really something new to me.

The People

The English people are a really nice bunch. They say 'sorry','hello' and 'thank you' freely and are super polite. Smiles are always on their faces. Well, maybe you've had sour experiences but i never had any with any of them. There were voices in the past that told me that Malaysians are the most polite, but I still have this vivid memory of a bunch of punks in Alor Setar swarming around a tall white man, jumping around him like some crazy chimpanzees and screaming 'White trash' all the while and some other experiences that show that Malaysians are not that friendly and not that polite. It was embarrassing to see such things and i do wonder why Malaysians (including me) could not be that polite like the British are. Well of course it would be easier to appreciate their kindness since there was no language barrier, but i still think they are a very nice bunch. An Italian or a Spaniard might have been much more kind and polite, but i might have been unable to appreciate them. It was also nice to see the parents teaching their kids about animals at the Natural History Museum. 'Marsupials are animals that have pockets in the front.' I would love to tag along with them, but that would qualify me as a stalker.

And oh, i really do like the British accent. It still sounds polite even when you try to sound rude. Special mention goes to the Anfield stadium tour guide in Liverpool. I thought he spoke a different language all together. Scouse accent was gibberish and very hard to comprehend, and so is the Irish accent. I've watched interviews with Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher but that was just too hard to understand. I just gave up. I've always preferred stadium tours without tour guides like i had in Madrid and Barcelona.

Friends

It was actually a tribal tour of the UK. My tribe was the 'MRSM Langkawi SPM '03'. My travelling mates were all from the same school and we went on to meet our old friends in the UK and Ireland. Something you might label as 'asobiyah' in Arabic. Hilarious, i have to say. But yeah, it was really fun to meet old friends and share our experiences. And while i was about to leave the UK, a friend texted me of his visit to the UK in early February. 'Jom lepak'. But of course, i didn't have time for that. He eventually called me from London today, and had the guts to label my voice as lembut ('hang buat suara lembut apa ni dalam fon', he asked me), in other words, he thought i sounded like a girl or a sissy. To Rashdan Saad, thanks for the tour of Manchester, pilaf rice and faluda, and the knowledge you shared; to Kodiang, thanks for the fish and chips and teaching me that weird pose; to Bett and her friend, thanks for finding a place to stay in Leeds and all the foods-spaghetti and black pepper chicken, popiah, burgers and everything else; to Durar Aqilah thanks for all the foods too-hash brownies and chicken massala helped us along the way; to Aimie for taking us around the cool RCSI campus; and last but not least, to Moke for the sleeping bags and the chicken tandoori. And to Raihan and Nabilah for the foods on our journey (me and Yat) back home to Volgograd. I mentioned food most of the time, but your presence meant much more than all the food put together for a kenduri kahwin (what the heck). Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it. May Allah bless you all. And to the others i met along the way, thanks a lot. I truly appreciate it.

To Raihan, Yat, Nas and Acap, you guys were wonderful travelmates.

And as the cloudless blue skies and the radiant waves of cold air welcome me to Volgograd, i realized that i have only a few months left here. There's a lot of work need to be done.

Love is overrated

2010-01-08T10:54:00.000-08:00

Of all spectrums and variations of emotions that exist, love remains a strong and powerful feeling which anyone anywhere could relate to.

We are all pumped up, hyped up to believe that love, with all its perfectness and splendour to arrive at our feet, kneeling down, proposing with sugary sweet words, a magnificent 27 karat gold mounted with a blinding bright diamond and to expect a romantic reply as simple as 'i do'.

Awwww. How Schweeeet.

We are systematized to believe that our soulmates would come and sweep us off the ground through various writings, songs, poems and movies. A girl daydreams of Prince Charming or Edward Cullen (just to hike up visitors to this blog), handsome, macho, perfect eyes, biceps and triceps as large as 5 litre mineral water bottles, with six packs worth of abdomen, romantic and all that jazz. While a boy conjures up an image of their fantasy Sleeping Beauty, or Rapunzel, skin as white as snow (no racism here, if your choice is chocolate skin, then make yourself at home), sweet, beautiful, cute, nice, excellent at cooking and all that jazz. There is, of course, that search for perfectness, which i assume is normal, as nobody really wants a semi rotten apple for their dinner.

But of course everything is rosy when you're in love. You imagine the snow falling down as 7e slurpees. You don't mind the sun shining bright and hot and your skin goes all sticky sweaty wet because you believe it's your source of vitamin D. Your finger bleeds, but you say that's the colour of love flowing down. Quite simply, the world and all its inhabitants don't really exist, except the two of you. The hard cold facts of reality don't really bother you. Of course, all that comes before the package called 'maturity' arrives at your doorstep, which will be attained when the right time passes by.

So, what if your partner comes up to you and reveals his or her bad habit honestly. It's like being hit hard with one negative attribute or habit, when you're like thinking the sky is blue all day long.

'We have been going on for quite some time. I want to let you know something. I am..uh..diagnosed with CFO. That's the acronym for chronic farting disorder. I've been taking medications each time we meet. There are days when it blows like a machine gun, some days it's like the whisper of the wind. Most of the time, it's an atomic explosion. Well, there are of course those occasional engine start up sounds. Occurences coincide with inadequate intake of medications but i've learned to control it throughout the years through farthotherapy, preferring the silent smooth type. Don't get me started about the smell. There was this one night, i couldn't quite sleep, so i forced myself to fart just to make me faint.'

Of course, CFO doesn't exist in ICD-10, which is the acronym for international classification of diseases. It's easy to like someone for their positive traits, but the fact that every Tom, Dick, Harry and Suzie have bad attributes should also be put into perspective.

Whatever it is, love is simply overrated these days. From a historical point of view, relationships of the past have been arranged by parents and surprisingly, although i don't have statistics, i think most of them turned out well and spawned numerous writings of unrequited love of their ex lovers. I try being fair here, by not being a male chauvinist who is often referred to a pinkish animal that feeds on its own excrements or a female activist who screams for gender 'equality', which for me, is such a waste of time. Both contribute to the downfall of the institution of relationships equally because there are desires and the neverending search for the perfect love. Desires, in this context, refer to sex and exclusively sex for men (food comes a close second) and for women, they require their partners to satisfy each and every single need of theirs, according to this Allan Pease guy.

But of course, in the end, the ones with the most desires eventually contribute more to the divorce rates. I have a unofficially weak statistic to prove my theory. In the USA alone, 50 % of marriages end up in divorce, with 70 % of them being initiated by yes, you guess it right, women because the more desires you have, the more unsatisfied you are when they are left unfulfilled. Now call me a male chauvinist, but women are a demanding bunch and i've got statistics on my side! Boohoo! It's a touche too cliche to think of men as playboys but i have to say there are guys who feed on their egos and go on a love rampages, they will never be satisfied with one woman. They like to test their proficiency in the language of romance. These people would marry up to 10 women if the law says so. I grew up living with this fact in my head, too. That's why i found Hamka's version of love from the male perspective to be enlightening and astonishing, since 'Tenggelamnya Kapal van Der Wijck' was written in 1937. Additionally, i found El Sharizi Habiburrahman (hopefully i got that right) to be heavily influenced by his writings. Hamka wrote : -

'Laki-laki bilamana telah menentukan cintanya untuk seorang perempuan, maka perempuan itu mesti jadi haknya seorang, tak boleh orang lain hendak ikut berkonsi dengan dia. Jika perempuan itu cantik, maka kecantikannya biarlah diketahui olehnya seorang..Sebab itu, kalau ada orang lain yang hendak memuji kecintaannya,...semua itu tidaklah diterima oleh laki-laki yang mencintainya tadi.'

Another stupid invention related to the love memorabilia is something called 'prenupts' or prenuptial agreement. It's a pre marriage deal of property division and spousal support if anything goes wrong. My lawyer friend considers this as a 'preparation for an inevitable future divorce'. It's like saying, 'We are going to divorce anyway sometime in the future, why not just sign it so that we could reduce any friction when we go our seperate ways.' Another friend, a law student in UIA is more pragmatic, saying that it protects men equally as it protects women because women tend to demand for everything in a divorce. Men can declare what items are theirs before marriage so that there are no ridiculous demands upon a beak up. I say, it's just stupid. You're entering something as sacred as marriage, and you're preparing for a possible divorce even before you recite the solemn oath of 'til death do us apart'?

No wonder there's a spike of single guys these days, and god only knows whether i'll be contributing to an increment of such statistics. Of course i am not accusing only you of having such desires or motivation to start of a relationship slash marriage slash I have my own preferences, which i'd rather not divulge here on my blog. I keep those preferences to myself, as i am an introvert and that's what introverts do. But the fact is simple, I am not trying to prove there's a prevelant role of either the female or male gender contributing to divorce or a downfall of a relationship. All i can say is, there's no such thing as perfectivity (the word does not even exist), although there are still those who search for that impeccable love.

Fart-all-that. Love is overrated.

Lactose tolerance

2010-01-05T05:14:00.000-08:00

I had a few discussions with Mr. Milky and we have decided to bury the hatchet. We are now on equal terms and i am drinking milk without any protests in the form of stomach upsets. So yeah, i have been enjoying bowls of cornflakes lately and enjoy them very much. Don't know what happened a few months ago when i ended up diarrheating after drinking milk, but now i'm back to my normal ways.

Health savvy might not be precise, but we have been controlling our diet together, as roommates. Less oily foods, regularly taking bread, and all that. I've asked my roommates to take vitamins because minus the hypotension cum food poisoning that i had, i am feeling better and rarely go sick like i used to after my regular daily intake of vitamin C, which is an antioxidant to protect our cells and fish oil capsules rich with vitamin E to make my sperm more motile, active, handsome and all that, and zinc tablets.

I used to neglect the health issue even though i am a medical student but now i've realized that my metabolism is failing me as i grow older and any extra food intake ends up making my tummy bigger and my butt bulkier. Now you have to think of healthcare the same way you're going to think of bills after bills and taxes, loans and downpayments and all that in the future.

You know how we used to eat THAT much in our teenage years and never end up putting weight. I also had a bad habit of letting the water run while brushing my teeth and never switching off the lights when not in use while i was younger. So now, yeah, i am thinking of my health more often (gotta be selfish), and try not to waste water and electricity because i will end up paying bills by myself instead of my mama.

And owh, accidentally, there's a research about ugly men producing more sperm. So, today, officially, i am an ugly Japanese guy. I am sure you'll faint when you meet me. See that Panda up there, that's why i don't put my own picture there. Seriously, let's just stop talking about my face because i'm nauseating.

One thing i've improved on is my intake of carbonated soft drinks. I've significantly reduced drinking those unhealthy liquid candies, only to be replaced by the sweetness of condensed milk in my Neslo. But yeah, that's a good step forward. I'll eventually kick away the habit of adding 2 table spoons of condensed milk into my hot drinks sooner or later.

2 days ago, we watched 'Super Size Me', a documentary about the fast food culture in America. It chronicles this guy who takes only McDonald's for 30 days, 3 times per day and how it affects his health. I don't know much about McD's ties with Zionism, but by watching the documentary and how it affects our health, it will be more than enough to motivate us to stop taking these fast foods. The majority of American dietitians and nutritionists opined that we should not be taking fast food at all.

It's this vicious cycle that continues on and on. Fast food restaurants spend billions on advertisements alone, and attack primarily kids which is a shrewd marketing strategy. The playgrounds and funhouses and toys, of course kids could easily fall for such ads. McD is also actively involved in some educational and charity programmes so that they may acquire this goodwill image. Before the documentary was made, 2 American girls with the help of activists decided to sue McDonald's for making them obese, but of course they lost the lawsuit since they could not prove that only McDonald's exclusively was causing them to be obese.

Of course, you're going to say it's a conscious decision and to eat fast food once in awhile won't do no harm. But always bear in my mind that there are better options than those synthetically made beef of theirs. McD even states that 'it is a matter of common knowledge that any processing that its foods undergo serve to make them more harmful.' It is a matter of choice. John Robbins, son of the co founder of ice cream outlet Baskin and Robbins walked away from the business which could have turned in millions for him because he thought that ice cream was the cause of death of his uncle, Burt Baskin, at the age of 46. Of course, that was due to a very high intake of ice creams.

I won't be hypocritical here, i put a lot of MSG in my food, another bad habit i will try to stop in the future. And besides fast foods, there are a lot of restaurants out there that serve unhealthy food. Having said all that, i am putting myself up for public humiliation if you end up watching me munching on Burger King or KFC. So, here's the deal. If that day ever comes, come up to me and give me a big fat slap on the back of my head. Yes, i do mean it. Just come up, identify yourself as a reader on my blog, wait, it would be more honorable not to introduce yourself and just slap me with all your energy.

It's easy to recognize me. I am that ugly looking Japanese guy with those healthy sperms.

E-mails and Airmails

2010-01-05T03:46:00.000-08:00

Besides my yahoo e-mail, i have another e-mail which i rarely use. Infested with cobwebs and rust, i logged on to that account last week so that it won't expire. I was surprised to find an e-mail from one of my closest buddies.

Most of the time we have been contacting each other through e-mails, from the time i first came to Russia while he was still in Malaysia, right after he returned back to Malaysia after a year in Australia. He told me that he wanted to keep all of those old emails as they were precious to him, like a diary of sorts. We recalled back the time when he was so much into this girl, that he went as far as writing an instrumental song for her on the guitar. He's a wonderful guitarist with a liking for jazz and classical music. He e-mailed me that song and i liked it very much. Eventually, he never got the girl.

Long gone are the days when letters were the only mode of long distance communication, replaced by more modern ways of e-mailing and facebooking. Collecting stamps was once considered a noble hobby, i don't know whether the hobby still exists or not. My sister used to collect stamps.

I read Hamka's 'Tenggelamnya Kapal Van der Wijck' last summer while i was down with influenza like illness, and the bulk of the novel are letters written between two lovers. And i thought there were elements of Hamka's style in Habiburrahman's writings. I wonder whether there are still people who are stuck in that period of time in this modern era just for the sake of reviving tradition. Are there still people writing letters, besides those official ones, love letters to be precise? Handwritten, the warmth of a sheet of paper folded into an envelope, you actually have that emotional substance in it.

My mom told me that she used to write letters home while she was at a boarding school in Johor, and would intentionally cry and let the tears shed on those letters so that they will have that drying effect afterwards. My mom was that creative, but she missed home very much.

I might not have experienced that, but i am sure i will still keep on replying e-mails to this friend of mine. Maybe i am just a backward kind of guy, but i, too, enjoy writing and reading lengthy e-mails.

'I love emails. Thank you whoever created them for allowing me to preserve my memories.'

London is calling

2010-01-05T00:53:00.000-08:00

Cue the Clash's classic punk rock tune, 'London Calling'.

I will be making a Eurotrip right after my exams are over. My mom always wanted me to travel a lot because i think, she has always imagined guys to be a bunch of adventurous beings. She pushed me to travel a lot of time, like last summer, she was asking me to travel to Jakarta and kept telling me about the AirAsia offers in the newspapers. So i called her few days ago and she asked me why am i not going to Paris.

'Everyone says Paris is slightly better than Alor Setar, mama. So why need to go there? We have our very own romantic Menara Telekom Alor Setar.'

'Who cares what others say. It's you. I want you to travel so that you can say you've been there done that and for you to see it yourself how boring Paris is compared to Alor Setar.'

Well, it didn't go exactly like that, but yeah, she wanted me to travel more.

I am only going to Germany, England and Ireland with a few friends of mine. I was hoping to travel to Spain and Turkey, too. I read a book on Mosques around the world and i came across the Mezquita while i was shopping for books at the Times (one of the best bookshops in KL) at Pavillion and it was pretty interesting to find out they incorporated Roman and Visogothic architecture in their capitals, as the building itself was a former Christian Visigothic church bought by the found of the Cordoba Caliphate, Abd Rahman I, before incorporating an 'Emirate style', purely Islamic architecture later on. I took shots of the book with my iPhone because i loved the explanation.

After the Reconquista, the Christians built a cathedral right in the middle of the mosque and at one point decided to bring the mosque down in all its entirety, only to be intervened by Emperor Charles V. Legend has it that he uttered the following words, "Had i known what was here i would never have dared touch the old structure. You have destroyed something that was unique in the world and added something one can see anywhere!". The author of the book mentioned afterwards, "One must remember, however, that the mosque might have survived precisely because a cathedral was built inside it. Any building frequented for whorship would be maintained, whereas one left empty is exposed to decay..".

Anyways, i have nowhere much to go to, except the following places.

1. Anfield stadium, Liverpool.

For your information, i am not going to watch a game there as a ticket costs around RM400. I would rather buy a few jerseys than watching this 'once in a lifetime experience'. Actually, i don't really mind not going there. Some people tell me, 'Rugilah kalau tak pergi kalau dah kat Europe.' I don't really think so, i could save the money for something else. As much as i love Liverpool, i love my money more than anything else. But i've decided to go to England, so yeah, why not go there. Maybe i will bring some luck to the lifeless Liverpool team nowadays.

2. The Beatles museum, Liverpool

This is a part of English history worth more than any architecture piece in England. Enough said.

3. Ramones museum, Berlin

The Ramones were the founders of punk rock before the Sex Pistols and the Clash became famous. Some New Yorker who collects Ramones' memorabilia moved to Berlin and decided to open a museum there. I was a big fan and it would be a nice experience to go there.

4. Shopping

I still don't have a nice grey blazer to accompany my nice grey pants, so hopefully i could find a cheap one at topshop and i want to buy some shirts and pants (hopefully i will be able to maintain my waistline) for work. After stalking facebook for pictures of people graduating, i think i am going to consider buying a nice pair of cheap (yes, i am that stingy) leather shoes. But i just don't like the color black that much and hopefully i will find a nice pair of brownish leather shoes.

I think that's about it. Maybe i'll google for some more places to visit there.

So, hopefully i will enjoy my time there. Hey ho let's go!

A road to wherever it takes me to

2010-01-01T10:45:00.000-08:00

A working life awaits me in 2010. I've lived for almost 24 years on planet earth. That's quite far, although the journey is still far from the finish line.

Growing up was a clueless phase of life. Nobody really knows what goes on around them even after puberty hits. There wasn't any 'Growing up for dummies', 'Guide to live life in the 90s' or 'DIY : Build a decent life ahead of you!'.

At some point, my friends belonged in clans such as skinheads, hip hoppers, skaters, jocks etc because they wanted to identify themselves as they don't have a stable identity. Once they were fed up, they leave their clans. Now, a friend who used to be a skinhead fashions an expensive looking haircut. I was never interested, but it was interesting to have such friends.

Then, people around me had all sorts of ambitions, ranging from buying fast cars to big houses, wanting to become pilots, doctors and lawyers. I had a few ambitions : to be a footballer, or a rock star or a music journalist. None came true. I never really wanted any Mercedes or BMW like they did. The only ambition i had was to be like my mom, a nice, wonderful person. To be frank, i don't have any concrete desire to be a dad as i never had one, physically. And sometimes i do feel gutted that i don't miss my dad much, because i never really had the change to get to know him. But i do believe God has taken him somewhere better, far from the evils of the world.

At the age of 12, my mom wanted me to enroll at some school in Melaka, i wanted to go to a boarding school in Perlis, in the end i settled down schooling in an all boys' school in Alor Setar for my lower secondary. I love the people at that school and look up to them very much because i was surrounded by females at my house : my mama, grandma and my 2 sisters. They were like, 'I'm a fifth former, you're in form one, i'm not your brother, you're my friend. So don't call me abang.'

I was lucky enough to get a good result for my PMR, and packed my bags to Langkawi. I still remember filling up some kind of survey when i first arrived in Langkawi, that i wanted to someday continue my studies at Liverpool. That was just a joke, because i was such a big fan of Liverpool FC. There was not even the faintest of ideas that i would end up overseas. Russia was not even on my mind. It never crossed my mind that i would take up a 3rd language and study medicine in a former communist country.

So i got lucky again for SPM, and received an offer to go Russia and accepted it without much thought. That is a big deal, i guess. There are others who would do anything to be in my shoes, to study overseas and all that jazz. So again, i am just thankful for that. I chatted with a friend who told me he was jealous of friends who are studying overseas, but both me and him believe his time will come in the future. But all i can tell is, there's not much difference between studying overseas and in Malaysia except the weather. The difference between mediocrity and greatness is hardwork, and i am the kind who believes in hard work more than anything else. It's easy for me to say, i guess, because i got the offer.

Thinking back, I just didn't look beyond engineering and medicine because people kept saying there's a lack of those 2 professions in Malaysia. Plus, my mother was a doctor. And so, without knowing that much of the medical world at that time, i took up medicine, hoping that it would grant me a decent life ahead. I don't know whether those 2 reasons are strong foundations for me to be a good doctor.

Don't get me wrong, i am not regretting my choice whatsoever. For anything that has gone by, there's a slice of fate attached to it. Now i hope i will become a wonderful doctor someday, whatever that means. Some friends have decided on which specialisation they want to be in, but I don't look (yet) beyond my 2 years of housemanship. I don't know where this ambitionless state would lead me to, but i do believe it will lead me somewhere. The same thing with my car. I don't look beyond using any car besides my Proton Satria yet, because as long as it can move, i wish i could still be using it. Some call that zuhud, but i am not it. Marriage is just beyond my cognitive ability at the moment.

Maybe there will come a time for me to have a proper ambition and work out for it but i never had any proper planning and everything just happened by chance in my life. I don't have that consistent identity yet. I've seen friends who have foundd their identities and become matured, some politician like, some leadership like and all that. I really admire them.

If i have to give you an advice, do have a proper plan for whatever you want to do. Look forward to tomorrow, put your daily goals, your short term goals so that you have a sense of accomplishment in yourself and you don't wake up every morning not knowing what to do. I think that's what being progressive is all about. I don't do that, but i think planning is cool and i hope to change myself and become a proper planner.

Ceramah motivasi lah pulak. Haha.

Sometimes when i look back, all i can say is, i'm just so lucky to be blessed with these 23 and a half years of living. I always ask myself, what if i had gone to that boarding school in Perlis, or not go to Langkawi after my PMR. Would i have met the same nice people who have coloured my life or experience this journey. I haven't been a good guy, am not close to God and far from being a good Muslim, but i try to honestly thank God for everything and everyone i've been blessed with. God knows i am doing all i can to be a better man. I take every experience that has come my way as it is.

In the end, I don't know where will my legs take me to, or what my eyes may see, or what will happen to my muscular body, or what will i eat tomorrow, but i'm sure looking forward to it.

Oh hell yeah.

PS : Had roti jala (netbread.Go figure) for dinner tonight instead of rice. Have to say 'wow' to myself.

Snippets

2010-01-01T03:48:00.000-08:00

1. Holidays are here. Final winter holidays, could possibly be the final days of enjoyment/relaxation since the working life ahead is just around the corner.

2. I would like to finish reading a few books. Don DeLillo's Americana is getting heavier day by day. Only 50 pages left but i've lost a bit of interest in the storyline. It's way too artsy for me. Then there's The Call of the Wild by Jack London which i've been reading on my iPhone. On the religious front, i've been reading a portion of Al-Ghazali's Ihya Ulum al-din, 'Wonders of the heart'. I'm half way through it. I'll try to summarize and share what i've got from the book later. Another book i wish i should start reading is Professor Thomas Arnold's The Spread of Islam in the World.' And hopefully then, i could begin 'The Master and the Margarita' by Mikhail Bulgakov. Caiyok!

3. I've just eaten a bowl of cornflakes and muesli with bits of chocolate chip cookies. Banana slices would make it perfect, but i didn't bring enough money to the kiosk just now. Our diet has been quite stable lately, we've been eating less fried foods, and at times we only eat bread for dinner. The only setback was my sudden craving for potato chips these last few weeks but now it has stopped.

4. Herald has finally been granted permission to use the word 'Allah'. There are opinions that it is good for dakwah, which, yes, i could relate to. Alhamdulillah, i'm still a Muslim but at the same time, i do realize that there are those who don't even know the real Islam although they were born Muslims. Ayah Pin, Rasul Melayu and some other unknown cults have managed to infiltrate their teachings. So what would happen if someone presents their teachings to these people, using the word 'Allah' ? There should be a need to propagate Islam even more, of course and a restudy of Islamic education in Malaysia. I don't know the implications of such actions right now or in the future, but i just can't agree. But if one day it is finalized, and they have the rights to use it, then Allah knows better.

5. I thought of changing the design for this blog since some of my friends just don't like it, but i just love the simplicity of the design. I've added a few more websites on the list to your right, so happy surfing.

Bahasa Roosiya or Bahasa Rasha?

2009-12-26T13:46:00.000-08:00

"I have never been able, really, to regret anything in all my life. I have always been far much too absorbed in the present moment or the immediate future to think back."

-Albert Camus.

It's hard not to regret what you've done wrong, but i try to live with that idea in my mind. You should regret things done wrong if you're doing it over and over again, and indeed, try to find the solution for your failures but if you look back at your life, the regrets lie in things that you didn't do more than the things you did wrong. Because you do learn something from your mistakes, but you can't do anything but say, 'Hey, i wish i could have done that when i was younger.'

And the Russian language, is one of my biggest regrets of my entire life. It's not like a suicidal regret, like i want to jump off a building for not mastering a Soviet language, just that i thought i could have done better and learn it more properly. After 6 years and yet to master (as in being really fluent in writing and speaking) a foreign language, that's quite unacceptable.

It all started when i was at INTEC, Shah Alam, where we had our prep before coming to Russia. It was basically language studies. Russian language had a different set of alphabets so we started from the very bottom. I was playing truant most of the time. At times i was really sick, as it was a sequela from my fever ridden days before SPM which had continued quite a few times after. But most of the time, i was just lazy.

An as a result, the teacher disliked me. 'Hated me' might sound too strong but i can guess she was close to that.

The pinnacle arrived when i was asked to the whiteboard to write and then read. The magnificent thing was i read it incorrectly. I can't remember the exact word but here's an example. This word here, "медицинского", that means 'medical' in English. Romanized, letter by letter, it should be something like this 'Medisinskogo'. But it is not read as -kogo, as in Latin or English, but should be read as -kava at the ending. So the word should be read this way 'Medisinskava'.

I got off from my chair in that winter cold class room, went to the board, wrote something and i was asked to read. I gazed at the word as if it was a physics' question needing a bogus formula by some Italians with cute surnames like Bernoulli or Machiavelli, and finally, with little confidence, i uttered, yea, you guessed it right.

'Medisinskogo', instead of the right pronunciation of 'Medisinskava'. The teacher offered me a smile and corrected me. That was one of the funniest moments in my life. I didn't regret that because i knew i had lots of time later in Russia to learn the language.

Things changed drastically when i arrived in Volgograd. I was the teacher's pet of my Russian language teachers. Yes. THE teacher's pet. We had 4 Russian language teachers through out the 6 years of studies and all of them sorta liked me one way or the other. I am not implying that i have superior Russian language skills, all i am saying is that i have this mix Russian-Japanese-Malay looks that the teachers really like.

There's proof. Once, when i was in Saint Petersburg, a young Russian girl came up to me while i was waiting for the train to Moscow and gave me a flower. A daisy, it was, if i am not mistaken. She offered me a kiss but i backed off, telling her, 'a flower means much more than kisses'.

Okay, the second part was pure fiction to enhance your reading experience. Yes, a girl did give me a flower, so maybe i've got the exotic looks that those Russian language teachers like about me.

Well, in the end, they liked me because i was able to memorize most of my homework and rarely make grammatical errors. It's not that i am that good, it's just that i use the same sentence construction over and over again so as to minimize my mistakes. And the teachers like that. To rewrite something out of my scope of learning would be a painstaking experience.

Maybe i was not giving that right attitude of learning a foreign language. I tried taking up Arabic by myself but i don't reserve enough time to really really study the language. Language is not just about grammar and writing, the most important element is speaking and you need to train yourself speaking the language. I am so untalkative, which makes it triple hard to master a language. And i wish i could be more spontaneous, because i do take time to figure out words which should exit my mouth.

Language is something extra and there's a lot to it if you master a language. Translator, maybe you could become an ambassador of a foreign country. The menu in foreign language you read in the flights, that's like a professional work, including all other publications big or small. You could be part of an advertising company, a traveling company, or become a correspondent journalist and all that.

Beyond that, language is also a tool Allah used to propagate Islam. Take the Qur'an for example, which Muslims believe to be inimitable.

17 : 88 Say: "If the whole of mankind and Jinns were to gather together to produce the like of this Qur'an, they could not produce the like thereof, even if they backed up each other with help and support.

Prophets of the past were given special powers as a proof of their prophecy, suitable for the people living at that particular period of time. To the people of Firaun or Pharaoh in Egypt, Allah sent Moses and gave him the power of magic to counter against the people of that period of time who were deep into black magic.

7 : 116-118 Said Moses: "Throw ye (first)." So when they threw, they bewitched the eyes of the people, and struck terror into them: for they showed a great (feat of) magic. We put it into Moses's mind by inspiration: "Throw (now) thy rod":and behold! it swallows up straight away all the falsehoods which they fake! Thus truth was confirmed, and all that they did was made of no effect.

To the Prophet Isa a.s. or Jesus Christ was given the power of healing the blind and lepers, bringing back the dead alive probably because the people of his time had practised medicine and such acts by Nabi Isa would be considered as miraculous.

5 : 111 ...and thou healest those born blind, and the lepers, by My leave. And behold! thou bringest forth the dead by My leave....

And so, the Qur'an was sent down to the people of Arabia through the Prophet Muhammad SAW with a language unparalleled of, because the people at that time were deep into poetry and there were these soothsayers, or kahins who would recite them as part of their rituals. And so the Qur'an is not only the bearer of truth as we Muslims believe, but also a work of Allah of literary importance. Even orientalists have described the language as being 'carefully rhymed' and a 'literary device capable of delivering profound effects'.

That's why we need to read the Qur'an over and over again, and try to read between the lines and understand it. And if you have extra time, try learning Arabic because it will be useful to comprehend what you're reading, particularly during your prayers.

There's lot more to language than meets the eye. One day, when i look back at my time in Russia, i will always remember those peculiar moments going to shops and saying, 'I want that, this, that and that,' because i didn't know what those groceries were called in russian. Damn.

It's just food, you twat!

2009-12-26T13:21:00.000-08:00

I watched Top Chef masters finale with my roommates. It's a dinner time thing and we were having 'Sweet bitter yellowish gravy lemon chicken'. We are yet to cook the duck we bought on Friday. I can't appreciate the series that much, but still it's an exciting show.

Their descriptions of those foods were totally out of this world.

"That food made me shiver." Wow.

"That's just marvellous!" You know, with that face of utter, pure disbelief, as if they had taken the best food in the universe. Their eyes go exophthalmoic, bulging out of their orbits while their masseter muscles keep on munching and exclaiming how those foods have changed their perception of what eating is all about.

Ah.Uhm.Whatever.

Most of the time, they have done one big mistake in their cooking. That one blasphemic sin and i would certainly disqualify them for making such an error.

'Where's the rice? How could you give me this whatever meat you cooked without white rice accompanying it?'

'But i..but i..'

'You're fired.'

That's why i am not a food critique.

In the end, it's just food, you twat!

Lock your Holmes

2009-12-26T12:33:00.000-08:00

When i have some free time, i read Sherlock Holmes on my iPhone.

A close friend, who has a collection of Sherlock Holmes' books recommended them to me. He had this very old version of them, with dog eared, brownish-yellow dull pages here and there. He pinpointed Holmes' extraordinary observation skills and his egoistic character.

So i have started reading since and the stories have never disappointed me. Wonderfully written, superb language, this is the definitive detective story you have to read. I'm not interested with all these CSI-detective-cop stories but Sherlock Holmes is just fun to read. Period. Of all fiction i've read my entire life, this is the book i would recommend to anybody and everybody.

After some time reading it, i realized that he has an ego equal to Dr. House. And it's not a surprise that you could find on wikipedia that both characters have parallel attributes. Both have this perception that they are the best in what they do. Both are drug addicts : Holmes to cocaine, House to Vicodin. House lives in Apartment 221B, while Holmes lived in 221B Baker Street. While you have watched Dr. House's observatory skills, here's an example of Holmes'.

This is from a story called The Stock-Broker's Clerk in 'The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes'. After having a small conversation and inviting his sidekick Dr. Watson for an investigation of a case in Birmingham, Holmes remarked that Watson 'has been unwell latelly'. And so Dr. Watson asked :

"How, then, did you know of it?"

"My dear fellow, you know my methods."

"You deduced it, then?"

"Certainly."

"And from what?"

"From your slippers."

Then Holmes continued :-

"You could not have had them more than a few weeks. The soles which you are at this moment presenting to me are slightly scorched. For a moment i thought they might have got wet and been burned in the drying. But near the instep there is a small circular wafer of paper with the shopman's hieroglyphics upon it. Damp would of course have removed this. You had, then, been sitting with your feet outstretched to the fire, which a man would hardly do even in so wet a June as this if he were in his full health."

Dr. Watson, the sidekick who is the narrator of almost all these stories/adventures then reflected upon his explanation, "He read the thought upon my features, and his smile had a tinge of bitterness."

"I am afraid that i rather give myself away when i explain," said he (Holmes). "Results without causes are much more impressive. You are ready to come to Birmingham, then?"

That's an ego the size of a universe.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the author of these stories was a physician and wrote these stories while waiting for patients in his usual daily practice. His epitaph reads, "Patriot, Physician and Man of Letters." He certainly was a man of language.

Hope the movie does not disappoint, although i know it will since the experience of reading the stories was excellent, it would take a gigantic effort for the movie to overwhelm the books.

Save humanity, save the world?

2009-12-23T10:19:00.000-08:00

Slept for a few hours last Thursday and my roommate reserved the final 30 odd minutes of the movie '2012' for us to watch together at dinner time. And after we finished cooking, i witnessed Roland Emmerich's version of how, supposedly, the world would end.

But what i saw could not match the flavor that entertained my taste buds. Maybe the sumptuous taste of the red pepper chicken overpowered the quality of the movie. Or maybe, the movie was simply horrendous.

Now, cue 'red pepper chicken' as one of the searches that will lead people to this blog. Red Pepper Chiken. Red Peppery Chickens. Reddish Chicken. Radish chicken.

By the time the movie ended, i realized that Roland Emmerich has an appetite for destruction. This is the guy who directed 'The day after tomorrow' and 'Godzilla'. Probably his fetish, but i just don't care about that. And the hero, Joe Cusack reminded me of Tom Cruise in 'War of the worlds'. You've got to be divorced to be a hero in an apocalyptic-end of the world movie, and both of them were.

When people get divorced, there's this similar tune playing : Irreconcilable Differences. In Terengganu, irreconcilable differences may be defined by the following terms : smelly body odour, humdrum sex, and the best of all, boring pyjamas. I'm a Kedahan, and where i come from, they have yet to define anything about irreconcilable differences. But if those 3 reasons come up, then i am sure the world will becoming to an end anytime soon.

But why did they bother to save the world under the banner of saving humanity in '2012'? The people who were saved were a bunch of selfish lunatics who either kept it as a secret or paid a heavy sum to get on that arc. Humanity is ingrained with wickedness and evil. There's no end to it. The first recorded murder in human history, the murder of Abel by Cain, or Habil and Qabil in Islamic literature testifies to this.

There's this sickening state of humanity. Of greed, jealousy, the quest for the material world, the hatred. Don't look that in anyone else, look that in you. It's just like how people never run out of ways to kill. One day they strangulate. The next day they stab. Then they choke. Electrocute. Gun down the culprit.

2 : 30 Behold, thy Lord said to the angels: "I will create a vicegerent on earth." They said: "Wilt Thou place therein one who will make mischief therein and shed blood?- whilst we do celebrate Thy praises and glorify Thy holy (name)?" He said: "I know what ye know not."

I've read of people losing faith in humanity, and it's not hard to see why. The best thing you could do is to be selfish for a moment and look at yourself thoroughly, and more importantly save yourself before you could save others. The road for betterment is long and winding, and some people just can't keep a straight path on it. Everyone thinks its just too early, we're just too young to change but in the end we will regret some things that we didn't do in our lives instead of the things we did.

23 : 99-100 (In Falsehood will they be) Until, when death comes to one of them, he says: "O my Lord! send me back (to life), "In order that I may work righteousness in the things I neglected." - "By no means! It is but a word he says."- Before them is a Partition till the Day they are raised up.

Save humanity? Like in that movie '2012'? You'll regret your move. Humans never really do change.

A new calendar unfolds

2009-12-19T13:13:00.000-08:00

As the new Maal Hijrah calendar unfolds, and the new Gregorian year coming up, i can't quite remember when did i last make a new year's resolution. I stopped believing in such things because they never quite materialize.

And as the new year arrive, our ages are up by one. Age is an official indicator of the underlying, ongoing ageing process but birthdays hide the fact that i am getting older with each letter i am typing on this dusty, old and rotten keyboard of mine. With each passing of time, everyone wants to progress, to change for the better although the degree of how much we want to change varies. The rule of the thumb is, we all want to morph into butterflies, rather than being caterpillars all of our entire lives.

But progressing itself is not an annual event. It is this constant struggle to evolve day by day that defines our existence. One of the things i like to do is to criticize myself subconsciously. I think everyone does that.

Hey you, handsome boy.

You're going to become a doctor in 7 months' time. You're going to be responsible for people's lives. But you're just way too lazy at the moment. You're happy each time you get a mark '5' in class, as if you have just received your masters' or PhD scroll. You tell me that's complacency but you're still in your old state of jolly. Work harder, you need to.

One point me and my subconscious mind agree upon is the fact that we are blessed with the same home by which we are able to live in this world ; this wonderful physical appearance of ours. Another thing we agree upon is that we are both fond of wasting time. There has been a warning by Allah in the Qur'an :

103 : 1-2 By the token of time. Verily man is in loss.

It was aforementioned by God that we would almost certainly waste our time doing nothing. If there's one thing i want to change, it should be about my time management. It sucks big time.

From a historical sense, hijrah was the migration of the Prophet and his followers from the city of Makkah to Medinah. He realized that he was facing an oppression he could not resist, a gallant battle to preach to those in Mecca. So, upon an invitation from the residents of Yathrib, the Prophet emigrated to Madinah to spread the teachings of Islam. It needed proper planning and a lot of sacrifice in order to achieve that goal. And in the end, the plan succeeded. He realized that plan A wasn't working and took plan B instead, which was to travel to Madinah.

Einstein once stated, 'nothing more stupid than doing the same thing twice and expecting different results.' Therefore, i need not only criticise myself, but at the same time work things out so that i may reap the rewards.

Salam maal hijrah and a happy new year to all of you.

Central market dreaming

2009-12-19T02:50:00.000-08:00

'Stesen berikutnya, Pasar Seni. Next Station, pasar seni.'

And the voice of the familiar female announcer rings in the Putra LRT, the same voice you may hear at banks or post offices. She must be making millions out of those patented recordings.

Once you've stepped out of those air conditioned Putra wagons, it is most likely that you will be greeted by the scorching heat of Kuala Lumpur. After an escalator ride and a few flights of stairs downwards, you can observe Central Market, or Pasar Seni.

Erected in the late 1880s, it served as a wet market for the folks of the city. I could assume it was a far cry from the current wet markets we are able to find in the city. Whereas, there were no posh supermarkets like Carrefour, Cold Storage, or Pasar Borong Mydin back in those days. Instead, you may hear voices bargaining for fresh products such as meat, chicken, fish or vegetables.

Pasar Seni or Pasar Budaya, Central Market’s names in the Malay language, do not denote the exact same meaning in English. ‘Seni’ or ‘budaya’ carry the meaning of ‘arts’ and ‘culture’ respectively, and aptly so, since now it has become a de facto symbol of arts and culture in Kuala Lumpur.

Throughout the years, tourists have thronged Central Market for a piece of memento from Kuala Lumpur, ranging from handy crafts, t-shirts, key chains, so on and so forth. For Malaysians, it lies deep in our culture not only as a historical landmark, but also as the place where dreams are made of.

Here you can find street artistes, a painter or a musician, strutting their stuff in and about the building.

Dreams in the form of a hollowed, six stringed instrument. Finding means of life, chord after chord ringing in the humid air of the city, singing songs in pure unadulterated vocals, clad in their knee-torn jeans and ragged t-shirts. Some may come from far away, with the hopes of securing a recording contract or at least, an offer for a gig. They dare to dream. Passer bys show their acknowledgement by throwing coins into the hat or the guitar bag lying in front of the performer, and he would thank them by nodding his head as a sign of mutual respect.

A painter manifests his dreams through brushes and pencils. Upon requests from customers, he paints a portrait or a caricature of them to pocket some money. He does a little more touch up to his artwork before he finally hands them the final piece.

These everyday people are the heart and soul of the city. They are the myriads of colour which brighten up the life of Kuala Lumpur.

The significance of Central Market stems from it's functional evolution; from being a mere wet market to be one of the most famous landmarks of Kuala Lumpur. There will come a day when all your MidValleys, KLCCs, Times Squares and Pavillions lose their significance, being replaced by more modern and sophisticated shopping malls.

However, Central market, with all its humble splendour will still be the heart and soul of Kuala Lumpur for ages and ages to come, ingrained with history and a culture unparalleled of.

The search engines

2009-12-19T00:41:00.000-08:00

I have this feedjit counter installed on my blog. It's like a toll which shows where do the visitors of my blog come from and how did they get here. So there are times when i come back to my blog and stalk my own counter just for fun.

Most of the time, they arrived after searching for, well, let's say normal things such as Maxes ifon plans or my former school which is somewhere on an island called Langkawi. Others include sepak takraw, some football players like Danny Aggger and Scholesyy, Mamaevv Kurgan, Dawood Wharnsbyy for a post i wrote about him. Another popular search is 'chronic introverted personality disorder', which is a title for a post on my blog.

There are also those who arrived after searching for 'Cristiano Ronaldo is ugly', which is another title of a previous post. It shows that i am not alone in the world, that there are others who actually have a pair of decent and honest eyes of how Cristiano Ronaldo really looks like.

I haven't updated the iPhone post. The last thing i've heard is that, they are freely selling the officially unlocked version in Malaysia.

But there are some searches which amaze and amuse me at the same time.

The most peculiarly popular search i've encountered is 'gustiy lengann', which i mentioned in my post 'Gusti' somewhere in September . There was a sudden hike of visitors searching for it in October/November. There was a consistent search for it through out that period of time. Maybe there was a big tournament going in Malaysia, like some world arm wrestling competition or something a little bit low scale, like the national arm wrestling championship in Malaysia.

It's like, not everybody wakes up and suddenly decides to type 'gustiiy lengaan' on their search engines. Or am i wrong? Let's refresh what i wrote in that post.

'Bukan gustiyy lengaan. Sukan yang sungguh gay di mana 2 lelaki berpegang-pegang tangan. Bukan juga gusti Greco-Roman. Itu lagi gay, berpeluk-pelukan di atas lantai. Tapi aku maksudkan ialah gusti lah, yang paling gay antara ketiga-tiga jenis gusti ni, yang biasa ditayangkan di TV tu.'

That's it. I was saying that i loved the gayest of the 3 forms of wrestling. That's all. And that's just a joke.

Some other weird ways to arrive on my blog include
*Pelajar Ausmaaattt tak lepas (Ausmaaat students who didn't pass)
*Harga cermin mata murah di Temeerloh (cheap glasses/spectacles in Temerloh)
*Gambar cermin mata (pictures of glasses)
*Some other weird search i've never managed to write down

But the pinnacle of it all, the one that triggered me to write this, is the search for this term :

'MRSMmm Langkawee Sex'

Oh boy, that guy must be a superb pervert. Or is it a girl?

Now i'm going to write this to promote my blog on the net.

Paris Hilton sexy pictures. Very nice.

Happy searching.

Note : Some of the words were intentionally spelled the wrong way so that they won't be misled again and again with those searches to this blog. If, somehow, they arrive on this blog with such words with the wrong spelling, they could either

1) have a weird sense of spelling humour.
2) have a bad command in language/spelling
3) have a malfunctioning keyboard
4) or worse, they are just stalking my blog.

Plans

2009-12-12T10:54:00.000-08:00

The bridegroom who passed away yesterday in that fatal accident happened to be a friend of mine, my ex-classmate at Langkawi, Ariff Kadir. He passed away along with his parents and a friend of his.

A friend sms-ed me while i was having my lessons, informing me that he had passed away in an accident hours after he took the solemn oath of marriage. It was hard to sink in, but after awhile i just realized i lost a friend.

Few days before, a Chinese friend who hangs out quite often in my room told me that he had lost a friend in an accident, who happened to be a son of a CEO of some large company. The news appeared on the Star.

How ironic. I never thought i would experience the same feeling of losing a friend in an accident days later.

I was not the closest guy to him at school, but he was the president of the student council board and we worked together most of the time. His work entails him to plan a lot, of course, that's the job of the president. He's just the opposite of what i am. I'm a bulldozer, I just let my life flow by, while he's more intricate, planning bits here and there. And i think he has made some financial investments for his future, maybe planning for himself and his family. I bet his plan to be a lecturer has something to do with his planning, whether to continue his studies at the university or for his research or something. Besides, he was already planning his Islamic preachings to the youths of Perlis from what i read here.

In essence, he was living a life as a traveler, planning here, planning there.

Nobody plans their deaths, but his, was planned well by God.

It happened on a Friday, the holiest of days of a week in Islamic beliefs. Furthermore, it was approaching weekend and people would have time to travel back to Perlis to pay their last respects to him and his family. But ultimately, it took place while he was about to get married. Although it didn't turn out according to plan, those who gathered had the chance to pay their final respects for them, offering prayers as a form of gifts for those who have passed away.

For all of our plans, God is the master planner. And his passing was a shock to all those who have known him. Reality bites.

39 : 42 It is Allah that takes the souls (of men) at death; and those that die not (He takes) during their sleep: those on whom He has passed the decree of death, He keeps back (from returning to life), but the rest He sends (to their bodies) for a term appointed verily in this are Signs for those who reflect.

39 : 42 Allah (Yang Menguasai Segala-galanya), Dia mengambil dan memisahkan satu-satu jiwa dari badannya, jiwa orang yang sampai ajalnya semasa matinya dan jiwa orang yang tidak mati: Dalam masa tidurnya; kemudian Dia menahan jiwa orang yang Dia tetapkan matinya dan melepaskan balik jiwa yang lain (ke badannya) sehingga sampai ajalnya yang ditentukan. Sesungguhnya yang demikian itu mengandungi tanda-tanda yang membuktikan kekuasaan Allah bagi kaum yang berfikir (untuk memahaminya).

May Allah bless the souls of Ariff, his parents and friend.

And as the latin phrase goes, 'memento mori'. We all will die, eventually.

Al-fatihah.

Hypotension blues

2009-12-09T05:55:00.000-08:00

(harmonica plays in the background)

I've had fever and headaches for about 3 weeks now. I thought it was a normal turn-of-the-season event. It's getting cold, so i thought my body was reacting to the weather.

So, i went to class as usual, dismissing those symptoms as mere nonsense up until yesterday, when both became unbearable, the fever and the headache. So i checked my blood pressure and it was lower than my normal self, 105/70. Mine is at 120/80, which is the average normal blood pressure.

And yesterday, the diarrhea started. I thought it was going to be a diarrhea-free year for me, but i was wrong. Now, it has become the eagerly and annually anticipated event.

For these past 2 weeks i am easily fatigued, i could barely concentrate studying. But i could handle reading all those football news. And the Dr. M vs Mr. Nazri verbal wrestling. Above all else, i still managed to force myself to write something on this blog.

But i do wonder which intestinal bug is hitting me. Whatever it is, it is affecting my whole body and not only my stomach.

Funny thing is, i've never lost my appetite. Few years back, when the whole cooking collective of ours, 5 of us, were hit simultaneously with food poisoning, with diarrhea and fever, i was the one left intact with a full scale appetite. Fairuz, my roommate even got admitted that time around.

"What are we going to eat now? Curry? Coorma? Red hot chicken? Kentucky Friend Chicken?"

"After like 93 trips to the toilet you still have the nerves to eat?"

"My God given appetite is a gift i won't dare to deny."

Oh well, i think i need to be more cautious in terms of eating. More fruits, i guess. I ate an orange today for breakfast, which is like the 34th wonder of the world. I rarely eat fruits, unless they are peeled and presented right in front of my eyes on a plate with 2 scoops of ice cream. Manja nak mampos! But i do like bananas, and dislike the durian in whatever form it is (tempoyak, ice cream, pulut durian).

Now, i am gulping litres of water to replace loss fluids. I wanted to pay a visit at the polyclinic, but i am just too lazy with all the bureaucracy there. We are only allowed to go to one clinic here, and worst of all, you could only go there at 3 in the afternoon. If you have diarrhea overnight, and go to the clinic in the morning, they will tell you to come back at 3.

It was not like this a few years back, when we were allowed to go to several clinics in the city. When the university discovered a long lost treasure; the foreign students, they opened a clinic of their own, something like a semi private clinic so that all the students could only get treatment there and they would make millions out of us. . It's crap, but it's Russia.

But i tend to get treatment when it becomes worse. So don't follow my footsteps. If you have any complaints, just pay a visit to the neighbourhood doctor.

Something tells me i may become a stubborn patient myself in the future.

Denggi/Capital

2009-12-07T09:18:00.000-08:00

I finally discovered that an MRSM Langkawi junior exists among the first year freshies (i dislike this word actually). MRSM Langkawi is now no more a PKP. There are only 3 PKPs left according to that junior of mine; Taiping, Jasin and PC. And most teachers have now gone somewhere else. We had a mini conversation few days back.

'Dia ni dulu ketua pengawas'. (He was the head prefect). Mentioned a friend to this super junior of mine.

There was a chorus of wooo from someone to my left.

Brouhaha. I was a head prefect. Big deal. If they had given me the post of Arts and Culture Bureau, i might have turned the school into Maktab Rendah Seni Mara. But hey, i enjoyed my time waking people up for Subuh prayers and wearing black pants instead of khaki like the other kids did.

Well, i won through an election. It was, actually, a pseudo popularity contest. If you look good enough, they will vote for you.

'Comelnye abang ni! Lawanya kakak ni!' (Heavenly handsome looks! Wow, she's like Snow White!)

Heck, i was super lame during the manifesto. I was never good at talking in public. It still gives me the creeps. But i thought i got most of my votes from the males. I was never close to the opposite sex and maybe the girls at my school took me as the propagator of male supremacy, i guess.

'He's a male chauvinist! He champions male supremacy! Don't vote for him!'

I used to be the class monitor in my primary school days, the one who says 'Banguuunnn!! Se-La-Mat Se-Jah-Te-Ra Cikgu!'. And i was like the teacher's pet. There was a time, at Standard 4, when a friend, Kamal Fadzulee his name was, brought KFC to eat during recess, and i asked a bit. It was 5 minutes to recess, maybe less, and he peeled the skin off from the meat. I told him, 'Later dude, it's not yet recess', but he handed it to me anyway. Tempted by smell of it, or maybe i was hungry, i put it into my mouth and started munching. I thought i had pulled off the trick of the century by eating KFC skin during a lesson in class while a teacher is present. But the teacher saw it.

'What are you eating?'

No answer.'Nyam.Nyam.'Munching. I took sometime before i finally answered. I took close to 40 munches, maybe more, and then, like a pimp at his prime, i told my teacher. 'Kulit ayam KFC.'

Well, i got away with that. I had the immunity because i was the monitor lizard.

After schooldays long gone, i have been taking the odd jobs for events here and there. It was due to a)too lazy to hold any posts and b)i thought i was lacking experience, and i think this is true.

After awhile of watching things happen here and there, i finally, although albeitly late, have realized that money is super important for any club/associations/movements. I know it's a super lame statement, but really, capital is the answer for anything, besides good governance. Even if you have ideas to run your group, you won't be able to do so without enough capital.

Because i was doing too much prescribed jobs, like writing names of those make noise in class, i never had even the slightest idea that money moves everything. I always thought that the annual budget was all about the government showing off how rich they were.

"Hey Thailand, we're this rich! You won't get much selling those fake jerseys!"

Take for example, the Kelab UMNO Luar Negara or KULN for short. They're in a good position financially because they have been given funds to conduct their activities, without the need to generate funds. A good friend of mine recycles the money in order to make further income, and to distribute the income to the poor people of Indonesia through various charity programmes. And he is even making good money for himself by becoming a supporting actor in a TV series.

The Chinese and Indians here in Volgograd, have to work extra hard in order to have some money for all their activities. The Indians here conducted businesses on Sundays in order to finance their Deepavali function, while the Chinese are doing the same thing too, selling all kinds of delicacies on Sundays.

The guys here in Volgograd are doing a good job too with their charity drill to raise funds for the construction of a mosque here. And the exterior does look more like a masjid day by day and you could help further here.

I was never interested in the money making although i am greedy, because i was never business minded in the first place. Maybe i should think more of money, not only through the view of these clubs/associations but also on a personal level. I need to have good governance of my money, man.

So, it's time to be greedy, it's time to be stingy. Think money.

And oh, by the way, denggi means money in Russian.

PS : Hope you could spend some of your capital for this guy here, who has been suffering from complications after donating his liver. The donee, has since passed away. Thanks.

What about mosques and minarets?

2009-12-05T03:51:00.000-08:00

1. I am not a European, nor am i a Swiss. I am a Malaysian, with Japanese genes.

2. But i want to busy my own body to talk about the recent ban on minarets in Switzerland which left some people so emotionally charged up.

3. The first mosque or masjid ever built was the Masjid Quba, which was an open air mosque, which could be barely qualified as an architectural unit back then. The construction was completed years after the Prophet passed away and the 108th verse of chapter 9, surah at-tawbah, is widely believed to refer to this masjid.

9 : 108 .......There is a mosque whose foundation was laid from the first day on piety; it is more worthy of the standing forth (for prayer) therein. In it are men who love to be purified; and Allah loveth those who make themselves pure.

No minarets. No domes. No whatsoever. The foundation is piety.

4. The minaret comes from Islam's origins in Arab. If the Prophet Muhammad were a Chinese, then our mosques might look something like this.

5. We should separate what is culture and what is religion, because at times we are totally mixed up about things. For example, Malays long time ago started reading the chapter Yaasin from the Qur'an on the night before Friday , which we would usually recite for the dead based on this hadith here, because they thought they were seeing ghosts of the dead coming back to haunt them. In actuality, we should be reading al-kahf on nights before Friday based on this hadith here. But both hadeeths in those 2 links i have given have a weak transmission chain (i could not find them either in Sahih Bukhari or Muslim), but you could see how culture is intertwined with religion.

6. The same should be said of minarets. It is purely a form of architecture unrelated to Islam directly. There was no mentioning of minarets as the de facto architectural style to accompany each mosque. The lollipop minarets in Moscow is actually a cathedral.

7. When we talk about freedom, about rights, we tend to be more emotional rather than rational. Instead, we should confront these detractors with wisdom, with an insight worth listening to. Tell them this, 'Ah.Uhm.Whatever.' In a better way, of course. A gentleman's reply.

Assalamualaikum.

Peace be upon you, my brothers and sisters of different faiths across Switzerland. We are well aware of the referendum and the voice of the majority has spoken. The majority has decided to ban the construction of new minarets here in Switzerland. Minarets have been the identity of most mosques in the world due to the Arabic architectural basis, but there is no relation of our faith with minarets. Take China for example, they apply Chinese architecture for the mosques, while in Spain, they preferred Moorish style in the days of the Islamic empire. In the the laymen's term, a mosque is just a place where we congregate for prayers, regardless of external manifestations.

Henceforth, we accept your decision with arms wide open, for our mosque is built on the foundations of piety, brick walls made of tolerance, coloured by principles of unity, with the rooftops of faith, which renders this house of worship indestructible. Therefore, we hope we have cleared your minds of the image on your posters depicting those minarets as nuclear missiles. We are a religion of peace, as Islam itself means 'peace' in Arabic.

Ya dig me? Cuz, if you don't, then go back home and Wikipedia ya'll.Peace out. Salam.

8. If that was the reply, then those detractors would go home and shut up and sleep. Ultimately making their protests a failure. The problem is this, we easily fooled to play their game. They are dangling the carrot, and most people are jumping for it. They say jump and we ask how high.

9. The problem is nothing new. Athens, for example was the last EU capital to have a house of worship for Muslims. The problem lies deeper than minarets or mosques. For example, the protests in Switzerland were accompanied with accusations of Islamic oppression on women. So, do they consider women with bikini, half naked with guys all around as being full of freedom? You see, that's why this freedom vs oppression thing don't exist. What we consider as freedom might be deemed as oppression by someone else. I would certainly react differently to bans on the hijab, as it is connected directly to our faith.

10.This stems from their misunderstanding of Islamic teachings, which could equally be blamed to some Muslims who have not shown the true identity of Islam. All they see is the Islam in the mainstream media. Taliban, Al-Qaeda. All the lies in prime time television. Islamophobia is on the rise, and if we don't clarify the situation, the condition will become worse.

11.About mosques in Malaysia, there exists, let's say, a minor discrimination of sorts due to the racial tensions there. I heard a lecture by a Chinese convert to Islam, Hussein Ye it was, if i am not mistaken, who suggested a Chinese Mosque to be built in Malaysia because those Chinese people who are interested about Islam shy away from the Malay mosques because they believed that Islam is exclusive to Malays alone. That they are not welcomed there at all.

12. Some people think that mosques are exclusive to Muslims alone. Well, they are wrong. According to one of Ahmad Deedat's lectures, the Arabs who are not that tolerant started this tradition of not allowing non Muslims to enter the mosque. The Prophet himself allowed a Christian group 'to sleep, eat and discuss' in Masjid Nabawi, and even offered them some time to pray there on the final day of their visit. Are we turning into Arabs, or are we becoming Muslims the way the prophet taught us to?

13. There are times when we should play the defensive game, and i think with the hostile atmosphere in Europe, they have to humbly accept the rulings, unless it contradicts Islamic beliefs. And if the law contradicts Islamic beliefs, try to explain to them in a good diplomatic manner, a moderate voice which neither demands nor asks, but a voice of wisdom.

14. Wallahualam.

Vocals.Ready.Go

2009-12-04T23:15:00.000-08:00

I'm rather picky, when it comes to music or anything related to it. After years of listening to music, i have developed a sense of discrimination pertaining to what enters my ear. And i have to say, i rarely listen to the Qur'an recitations. But i really love this guy's voice and rendition. His name is Mishary Al-'Afasy.

And so, i tried or am trying to stop listening to music once and for all, not because i believe it's a Freemason conspiracy ala The Arrivals, just that i think i have passed that age and it had consumed a large portion of my youthful life. But i still listen to some music. What music does to me down the years, is that,biologically it produces this constant stream of endorphins, which are naturally produced morphins in the body. Now go wiki morphine abuse. And i was intoxicated with music. I tried all kinds of music to whet my audio appetite. In other words, it was a constant state of finding a better drug in the form of music to get me high. Ya feel me?

I'm not saying that this applies to everybody, but it's just a personal explanation of my own experience. And the first step of stopping addiction, is to admit you're one of them.

Music addicts Anonymous : First session.

'Now, circle up and let's introduce ourselves.'

'Hi. My name is Afiq Fikri Azmi of Japanese ancestry. And i'm a music addict.'

'Everyone, say hi to Mr. Afiq.'

'Hi Mr. Afiq. We are music addicts too.'

Too much of anything is not good. When you're overfed, you get all too tired and eventually doze off. And all that metal, punk, emocore, jazz, weird music (all of Mike Patton's music are super weird!) got the better of me. There needs to be limitations, control. There was a time when music controlled me, that i would wait impatiently for the new album of some rock band to come out.

Pertaining to music or entertainment in general, there are 2 hadiths i would like to cite. Both are from Sahih Bukhari.

1. Narrated Aisha: Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) came to my house while two girls were singing beside me the songs of Buath (a story about the war between the two tribes of the Ansar, the Khazraj and the Aus, before Islam). The Prophet (p.b.u.h) lay down and turned his face to the other side. Then Abu Bakr came and spoke to me harshly saying, "musical instruments of Satan near the Prophet (p.b.u.h) ?" Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) turned his face towards him and said, "Leave them." When Abu Bakr became inattentive, I signalled to those girls to go out and they left. It was the day of 'Id, and the Black people were playing with shields and spears; so either I requested the Prophet (p.b.u.h) or he asked me whether I would like to see the display. I replied in the affirmative. Then the Prophet (p.b.u.h) made me stand behind him and my cheek was touching his cheek and he was saying, "Carry on! O Bani Arfida," till I got tired. The Prophet (p.b.u.h) asked me, "Are you satisfied (Is that sufficient for you)?" I replied in the affirmative and he told me to leave.

2. Narrated Abu 'Amir or Abu Malik Al-Ash'ari: that he heard the Prophet saying, "From among my followers there will be some people who will consider illegal sexual intercourse, the wearing of silk, the drinking of alcoholic drinks and the use of musical instruments, as lawful...".

And so, from the first hadith, there are 2 forms of entertainment. One, a song about the battle between Aus and Khazraj before Islam came, unIslamic, i do not think it is nasyeed, most probably some poetry with Arabic melodies. Second, is the visual entertainment, a Shields and Spears performance by an ethnic group. This conversation in this hadith was taking place during the Eid celebration and the Prophet certainly enjoyed himself, with the expression "Carry on! O Bani Arfida."

The second, actually contradicts the first, from what i understand, in which the Prophet claimed that there will be people who consider playing musical instruments as lawful. And events which led to the second hadith were not mentioned. It is rather a general statement which needs further studying, especially with the use of the word 'lawful' (how do we discern what is lawful and what is not? What are the parameters? How lawful is lawful?). And i am in no position to explain that.

And so, to say that music is all in all unlawful is wrong, because it contradicts the first hadith. But it's just that at times i think we are overentertained, the way we are sometimes being overfed with all kinds of food, which turns something good, to being bad or time wasting.

All i can say is, take the moderate path, try to limit what you consider as time wasting events in your life, list down your priorities and remember, the first command of Allah in the Qur'an is 'Read, in the name of thy Lord and Cherisher.'

Hope you all enjoyed the recital above. :)

Of journeys and travels

2009-11-30T11:05:00.000-08:00

Narrated Mujahid: 'Abdullah bin 'Umar said, "Allah's Apostle took hold of my shoulder and said, 'Be in this world as if you were a stranger or a traveler." The sub-narrator added: Ibn 'Umar used to say, "If you survive till the evening, do not expect to be alive in the morning, and if you survive till the morning, do not expect to be alive in the evening, and take from your health for your sickness, and (take) from your life for your death."

The fifth pillar of Islam, the Hajj, is basically asking us to travel, in whatever means possible to get there, with the exception to those living in Mecca itself.

The connotation of traveling in the modern era is different from ancient times. Flights, trains and buses are available everywhere in the world. To get to places like Amsterdam, Paris, Rio involves a few mouse clicks here and there and walla, you're well on your way there. Now, you could get to Mecca by flights. Life made easy. It's the age of the instant noodles.

From the notes of those who traveled to Mecca in the past, for example Ibn Batutta, he had to endure 16 months on the road to get to Mecca from Morocco. Got married along the way, and at one junction of his journey, faced with 3 options, he took the road less traveled and had to trackback as there was a riot in one of the towns along the journey.

Far from being a spiritual journey to worship God in Mecca, it was a pilgrimage of physical and emotional function. He had to leave his parents, friends and home without any guarantee of coming back. And of course, his journey was never air conditioned, only the stream of merciless heat accompanying him.

Allah made an allegory of life as a journey in a few verses of the Qur'an.

10:23-24 He it is Who enables you to travel through land and sea, till when you are in the ships, and they sail with them with a favourable wind, and they are glad therein, then comes a stormy wind and the waves come to them from all sides, and they think that they are encircled therein. Then they invoke Allah, making their Faith pure for Him Alone, (saying): "If You (Allah) deliver us from this, we shall truly be of the grateful. But when He delivers them, behold! they rebel (disobey Allah) in the earth wrongfully. O mankind! Your rebellion (disobedience to Allah) is only against your ownselves, - a brief enjoyment of this worldly life, then (in the end) unto Us is your return, and We shall inform you of that which you used to do.

There's a lot to learn from the life of a traveler, their strategies and planning and all that.

No, i am not asking you to cycle to Mecca later on in your life. Or live a life full of sufferings and troubles.

You could apply their conscious in your everyday life. How a traveler listens to the advice of those who have been there, dos and donts. How a traveler thinks of their stay as being temporary (how life itself, is temporary) and to maximize time and not waste it. So on and so forth. You could look at it from any angle you like.

But there are times along the journey that you will bump into problems. In the case of Ibn Battuta, a riot in his journey. But he never hesitated to return and try another route to get to Mecca. We ourselves might have taken the wrong road or decisions in our everyday life, but fret not, it's just how things go.

Hajj itself, is for me, not merely about the rituals performed there, but the sacrifices and troubles along the way also matters. Maybe our journey to Mecca is made easy these days, but the idea that those who had traveled centuries ago to quench their spiritual thirsts should be emulated in our daily lives. Imam Al-Ghazali stated that this is the journey towards Allah, in his book Ihya Ulum al-Din.

'The heart needs these helpers (physical and spiritual insights) because of its need for a vehicle, and for provision for that journey for which it was created, the journey to Allah, and for passing through its stages until He is met face to face.'

No wonder we always ask for a straight path everytime we recite al-Fatihah. For there are times, we might stray of the correct path. And so therefore, i hope you got the idea of what being a traveler is all about.

PS : Selamat Hari Raya Haji to all. Have been under the weather for these past 2 weeks. Hope everything will get better.

Hypertension blues

2009-11-30T10:35:00.000-08:00

My roommate's blood pressure skyrocketed to 150+/90+ last Friday. Came back, complained of headache but was later invited for a small Raya treat downstairs. I tagged along, although i was not formally invited and he had to withstand watching me eat all the food served since his condition didn't quite permit him to eat those delicacies.

Sorry for that. The food was exquisite.

We usually eat fried stuffs, fried chicken, fried squids, fried this, fried that. Maybe we should be learning how to cook roasted, steamed or boiled chicken for a change.

So we're kind of ehem..having a diet week this week. The 3 of us roommates (the other is my Indian friend Vik), will be cooking separately this week. He is planning to eat cornflakes and bread the whole week. Vik had curry mutton today.

I had friend eggs and anchovies with sambal today, what i would refer to as the 'classic rice' in my life dictionary. The laziest form of cooking known to mankind, perhaps. Cooking alone means i am able to cook the hottest of sambals for myself.

After years of learning to cook, i haven't progressed much. I think it's not worth cooking all those extravagant meals because my tongue is not able to appreciate food that much. Plus, i leave all those meals for my future wife to cook or for those chefs in the restaurants to prepare. I don't mind the fussiness of cooking, but it's not time worth spending since my brains still haven't developed the taste centres.

Oh well. At least my semi functional tongue is compensated with a decent looking face.

Last Weekend

2009-11-24T10:50:00.000-08:00

Felt rather sick these past few days. A slight fever going on. And euphoric at times.

There was a moment of emotional instability. I hesitated traveling after my mom told me she would peek at places where my cat would usually lay down only to find Teh not being there.

And so i asked, 'would it be better for me to go back to Malaysia this winter?'

She replied, 'I'm fine. I like you traveling more than doing nothing at home.'

Because she knows me well enough. I'll sleep my butt off at home most of the time. I remember her asking me last summer..

'Bilanya nak pi Jakarta. Beli la Air Asia.' (When are you going to Jakarta. Just buy Air Asia.)

I told her i wanted to visit a friend at Jakarta but ended up spending my summer holidays doing, well, nothing much actually.

I need my mom more than she needs me. A holiday in Malaysia in winter would be much more meaningful for me than her. But i do hope both they are coping with the loss of Teh.

Vote for my entry!

2009-11-20T12:15:00.000-08:00

This is not a plea.

But if you find my entry 'This is stadium Merdeka' to be entertaining, i hope you can vote for it on the blog4t website.

The purpose is to create a positive buzz about the Federal Territories. I don't know whether i've done that. Actually there are a few ideas about KL i wanted to write; about Central Market, Lorong Haji Taib, Petaling Street and a few more, but they tend to be negative. So i settled down writing about Stadium Merdeka.

I heard that they are offering a MacBook as one of the prizes for the competition. And also some cars. But i would prefer a MacBook since my laptop is getting old and slow.

Dream on, Afiq.

I don't know what are the odds for me to win, but hey, i need to try my luck and hope for the best.

So thank you in advance!

My name is Stadium Merdeka

2009-11-19T09:23:00.000-08:00

My name is Merdeka.

Physically, i am a stadium but i feel like a white elephant lost in between the more sophisticated skyscrapers and modern architecture of Kuala Lumpur. I was christened 'Merdeka' for the most eventful occasion in our history.

I reminisce the declaration of Independence in 1957. The rich and poor, the young and old, of all racial background, gathered in my body and the partisan crowd shouted in unison, 'Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!'. I almost cried that day. The forefathers of Malaysia had finally freed our land from British colonisation. Tunku Abdul Rahman, Tun Sambanthan, Tun Tan Cheng Lok; names that will forever be etched in our struggle for Independence.

From then onwards, i witnessed the rapid growth of Kuala Lumpur. New friends in the form of concrete buildings started to appear around me. As far as i could remember, Victoria Institution has been there by my side long before i existed and has been my best buddy.

He whispered to me long, long time ago, 'Watch out for this phenomenal football talent. He is a nightmare for defenders. His name, Mokhtar Dahari.'

Malaysian football prospered for a period of time. The superheroes of Malaysian football promulgated the nation as a powerhouse in the '70s and the '80s. 'Supermokh' Mokhtar Dahari. 'Spiderman' R. Arumugam. 'Towkay' Soh Chin Aun. 'The King' Santokh Singh. I was proud to be the home ground for the national team, with shouts of 'Supermokh' frequently buzzing on matchdays, the crowd united to watch mesmerizing football from the Tigers of Asia. Arsenal lost against us, the England B team scrapped with a one all draw. We even qualified for Olympics twice.

Those were the days of Malaysian football.

In '75, the guy who floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee came over to our shores and i was made into a makeshift boxing arena. However, the match between Muhammad Ali and Joe Bugner has to go down as one of the worst in boxing history. Joe Bugner really tested my patience with his defensive minded strategy.

But times have changed. I am no longer in my youthful state. The cracks, appearing on my concrete skin testify to the ageing process i am going through.

There's the Bukit Jalil Stadium, who is much more superior compared to what I am. And the next choice for sporting events would obviously be Shah Alam Stadium. I understand. I am merely an old, dysfunctional concrete block here in Kuala Lumpur.

There were plans to demolish me, but luckily, i was saved and made a national heritage. And now, i am undergoing a reconstructive surgery, a renovation of sorts.

I might suffer the same fate as my distant cousin, the Highbury in London sometime in the future. Razed down to the ground.

Maybe one day my legacy will disappear, and Malaysians would not even remember the existence of such stadium. But i am neither asking for remembrance nor reconstruction.

I just hope that Malaysians will never forget that day in 1957, the struggles and meaning of Independence.

The ten lives of Teh, the cat.

2009-11-14T10:19:00.000-08:00

'What happens to all these stray cats in wintertime?", i asked my friend on the way to the hospital.

'They'll eventually die.'

Wayne Coyne, the front man of the rock band, Flaming Lips, once mentioned that the feeling of losing someone of close proximity to you ie a neighbour or a close friend is different compared to losing someone of your own flesh and blood, ie your family members.

It's still autumn in Russia and just now my mama sms-ed me. It read, 'Apit. Teh had just left us. Around 1.45 am.'

I won't claim that he's my flesh and blood for 2 reasons. One, he's a cat. Second, he is, in fact, a cat.

And i won't even state that i was close to him in any way. He was just too scared of alpha males like me. Once, he smacked the sliding door trying to escape my presence when i just arrived back from Langkawi. He would recognize me as a female when my legs are enveloped in my sarong and not run away from me. However, we created a bond last summer, partly due to the fact that he was sick and tired of avoiding me, albeit the bond was rather temporary. Once the left lens of my old black thick rimmed spectacles accidentally fell into the toilet bowl and was flushed into eternity, i had to wear my newly made spectacles.

Instantly, he didn't remember the face and was scared of me like he used to. Maybe it was his way of telling me, 'Hey, you don't look cool in those spectacles, therefore i am running away from you' in body language.

There were actually a few cats in the house, one by one passed away. Teh was the last one remaining, until tonight.

Sometimes, i think those cats were Godsent. Not in a divine way, that is; they didn't just drop from the sky. They started roaming around the house at a crossroad of my family life. I was studying in Langkawi, my sisters were in Kuala Lumpur and Shah Alam respectively. And that left my mom home alone most of the time after my grandma left the house to stay at her kampung.

And so the cats were there to accompany my mom most of the time.

Abu passed away at the vet, Teh kecik was killed in accident in front of the house, Tam was found dead lying in the bushes in the field opposite our house. And luckily, God gave us the chance to take care of Teh Besar til he passed away, and i would imagine that he passed away cuddled in between my mother, who has been sleeping downstairs since he was sick and my sister, Aiza, who has been coming back to Alor Setar from Kuala Lumpur for the past few weeks.

Teh battled with tick bites, cheesy abscesses, jaundice, dehydration, renal failure, and had attacks of seizures. For a cat the family considered as unmanly (he would come back home with scars, presumably attacks from other cats), it was a courageous effort on his part.

I was hoping the cat would be safe til i arrive back home next summer, so that my mama has a friend at home. But maybe i was asking too much. That's just how a cat lives. Eats, sleeps, inseminates, and dies.

And for my mum and my sister, for being wonderful bearers of those cats, i admire you both. Especially to my sister, who once drove back from KL few weeks ago because flight tickets back to Alor Setar ran out and she wanted so badly to come back to see Teh. May your compassion be rewarded by the powers that be.

Cats, as they say, may have 9 lives. And in their tenth life, they live in our memories forever.

Those cats might have not been our flesh and blood, but we feel as though we have lost a part of the family.

May you all find peace in cat heaven. Thank you for your clumsiness.

Beyond the depths of lacerations

2009-11-10T12:30:00.000-08:00

The rancid stench of corpses hung stagnant in the air filling my nostrils with an atypical mixture of biochemical reactions gone mad, of fermentations gone wrong.

Forget about your 250USD perfume. This is the perfume of death, the fragrance that accompanies you to the next life, if you believe there's any.

For the record, i only use Dashing 'talcum untuk jejaka' and sometimes, an aerosol spray of cheap deodorant every morning. And i smell 3 times better than you with your perfumes on.

Nothing brings you closer to death, than death itself lying motionless in front of you in forensics classes. Basically, in simpler words, a part of forensics is the study of 1001 ways to die. But beyond the homicidal and suicidal cases, deeper than the lacerations and punctured lungs, there are questions unanswered. Some remain there unanswered.

There's this feeling of emptiness , that nothingness of seeing a malfunctioned body. How he got that purplish red bruise on his forehead? More importantly, why? Was it a random hit and run or was there foul play, a history of bad blood with an old nemesis?

Once a body bag arrives, the language of forensics come to play.

"Hello there Mr. Ivan Ivanovich. I will be dissecting your body today." Except there was no reply. A complete hush. The pathologist started to describe every detail that would aid investigations. Sometimes they would tape record these descriptions for court usage. Age. Approximate age. Ethnicity. Height and weight. Appearance from the head to toe. Any wound noted for its form, shape, length, width, colour, consistency and possible origin. Chopped. Cut. Axed. Contused. Hammered. Punched. Knifed. Stabbed. Spooned, as in spooned eyeballs.

I wish i could have Sherlock Holme's analytical acumen to conjure up a theory just by observation. Sometimes i do wonder what pushes a man that far to incite such a murderous response. But evil itself does exist, as early as the annals of human history. A more appropriate answer would be 'why does it exist?'

From the Qur'an, in Surah Al-Ma'idah , verses 27 til 31 explained what could probably be the first documented murder in the history of the world. Cain, who presented God with an offering of plants, was jealous of God's acceptance of Abel's sacrifice which was, according to Ibn Kathir's 'Stories from the Qur'an' a fat she goat, while his got rejected. It angered him and he went on to murder his brother, Abel who offered little resistance even after knowing Cain's intention. "Be sure i will slay you." in verse 27, while the 28th verse contained Abel's response. "If you do stretch your hand against me, to slay me, it is not for me to stretch my hand against you to slay you."

The same story is mentioned in Judaism's Torah and Christianity's Holy Bible.

From a narration of a hadith presented in the book, they fought over a the rights to marry one of their sisters (and yes, they were allowed to in the early periods of creation), of which the Prophet Adam suggested them to offer their sacrifices to Allah. The chain of transmission might be disputable and that the Qur'an itself offers little information regarding the details of events that took place. Cain regretted his action and finally he learned how to dispose the body by burying it.

How many of you could take criticisms right in your face, let alone being rejected by God himself? No matter how truthful they are, criticisms, be it constructive or deconstructive are hard to take and it is the nature of human beings. It's probably the case of a big ego in Cain's case.

There is of course an element of jealousy, that someone else is better than you in certain things. Don't confuse jealousy with competitiveness, because one leads you to good things and the other, to nowhere land. The antidote of jealousy is contentment and a reflection of how lucky we are, and to differentiate between our wants and our needs.

In this case, Cain channeled his anger and murdered Abel. There's always patience, but he chose to follow his hatred. But how many of us are able to think rationally in times of pure emotional outbursts?

The extremes of good and evil are exposed in this story of Cain and Abel. There's a lot to learn from the stories of the Qur'an, and amazingly, you'll find a different perspective as you grow older and wiser.

But i gave up on the reason why evil does exist on earth. We could postulate that it's just God's lesson to human beings, that beyond these manifestations of weakness and frailties of His creation, lie a much deeper reason unknown to human beings. That human thinking is limited.

In the end, after all the forensics classes, i came to the conclusion that i've forgotten almost all of my anatomy knowledge!

PS : According to a friend, a Yale professor explained that the story could be seen as a sign of development of human into a more stratified society, with a social structure based on professions. In this case, Cain was a farmer of sorts, while Abel was a shepherd.

Is it a bird or a plane?

2009-11-08T04:31:00.000-08:00

Some people live by the definition of others. They want to project a certain image of themselves on others.

As one of my favourite blogs opined that once you leave your life to be judged by others, then you will be left unhappy for the rest of your life.

Some want to be looked up as being the utmost superior being on earth, giving orders at their will. Others want to project the image of coolness in the view of others. Some just don't care.

By my appearance, i sometimes (always,actually) appear to have a bad hair day, because i just don't care how i look like. Even now, i don't really mind going bald but my mum wants to prolong the hairy version of her son and so therefore, i have to heed the command of the Queen. Not that i am much of a good son either.

And there were times when i didn't want to quote from the Qur'an in my blog because i thought that would project this pious image of myself on others, that i am a good man of sorts. The thing is, i am not and that would be misleading to others. But in one way, it was suppressing a part of me. In a larger context, i was doing something because of how others would see me.

Which is wrong, for me at least. Because once you leave your life to be primarily defined by others, you are fulfilling their thoughts, their determinants, their views and not yours. 'What would others think of me?' 'What if i do this? What if that?'.

Although yes, there are times when we should be shy of doing some things, some other times rather than being true to themselves, someone may make a move or take an action in order to be viewed good (or honestly bad) by others.

No, i am not saying i can tell what all the hearts conceal. It's a mystery of life. Of intentions. If you ever think of changing for the betterment of yourselves but you're too scared of what some might view of you, then think again.

If you think you're doing something just for the sake of recognition, then it's never too late to change yourselves.

You might fail in your goal for recognition of others about you which would make you either sad or unhappy. In other words, you define your own happiness and not let others do it for you.

I once answered to one of my teachers that my goal of being a doctor is to make people happy by making them healthy. Because the state of happiness would make people more charged up to do good things.

In the end, sins and virtues are best judged by God, and God alone.

'.....But who, for a people whose faith is assured, can give better judgement than God?'-5:48

Funny how i used to mention of being a simple guy.

Now i think i am much more complicated than what i used to be. In a good way that is.

So ask yourselves, what do you really want (and not what others would think of you or want you to be) and if you want it badly enough, as Paul Coelho mentioned, the world will conspire you towards it.

random

2009-11-08T02:56:00.000-08:00

1. Scientists named the pathogen Brucella after the name of David Bruce, the pathologist who discovered the microbe. If one day, yes, one day, i were to discover one new disease or pathogen, would they name it Fikriosis? That sounds cool. But in the end, i would prefer to name it after the town where i am from. Yes, the Alor Setar Syndrome sounds super uber cool. Or Alorosis Setaritis.

2. Now i can see why people love twitter. It's because people don't have time to write lengthy articles or blog that often. They could just twit their status, how short it may be and people would reply to it. Life is moving on the fast lane. It's the age of instant noodles.

3. I am planning to enter blog4ft's competition. It's simple. You have to create a positive buzz about Federal territories through blogging. I am going to refine my post about Stadium Merdeka and if you find it good enough, you can vote for my entry. I have an idea looming in my head about Lorong Haji Taib and the notorious aura surrounding the area. But that would not create a positive buzz, would it?

4. In some unrelated stub, my former bandmate who once claimed that he planned to be single all his life got engaged last month. A grunge that he was, he looked the most unlikely to get married since he was ultra shy. But yeah, it brings a whole lot of personal meaning to the oft repeated phrase, 'Kita merancang, Allah yang menentukan.'

To whine or not to wine

2009-10-24T08:09:00.000-07:00

You can learn the same thing over and over again, and you may find a different or a new stimulus that excites you in a different way everytime you relearn it, regardless of your first viewpoint.

It's the same thing about science. A scientist may meticulously study a subject time and time again, and he might discover new information of his work with each research.

This was the case with a recent study of the health benefits of wine drinking. It is a fact that wine contains a compound called resveratrol which has multiple positive effects on the body and that's the reason why moderate intake of wine is recommended by some quarters in the field of medicine.

But from this recent article posted by a friend on facebook, scientists argued that the possible negative outcomes outweigh the benefits of wine.

"Experts with the American Cancer Society and the American Heart Association say that though these studies do show some benefits to moderate drinking, the health risks from alcohol consumption far outweigh the potential rewards."

But wait, didn't i hear something like that somewhere else before?

2:219 They question thee about strong drink and games of chance. Say: In both is great sin, and (some) utility for men; but the sin of them is greater than their usefulness.

Even Allah acknowledged that there are benefits of alcohol intake, but the law of duality states that for every positive point, there's always a negative fact following right behind.

Most probably a non Muslim conducted the research, and most probably he or she didn't even bother to open the pages of the Qur'an which of course, is probably an outdated scripture that was sent down ages ago. But nevertheless, it still manages to discern a scientific knowledge with this recently discovered fact.

Russia itself faces a grueling battle against alcoholism which is a part and parcel of their rich culture. I just realized that 'vodka' (the intoxicating drink) is actually a cute slang for 'vada' (meaning water). That's rather disturbing, but it shows the depth of affinity they harbour for the drink.

Mikhail Gorbachev did something good by raising vodka prices and destroying vineyards in an attempt to deter the Soviet population from drinking which ultimately resulted in his decline of popularity. Not bad for someone who campaigned for freedom of religion in the Soviet Union. But that didn't stop them from preparing homemade alcoholic beverages called 'samogon'.

While you can't push people to believe all these scientific facts, you could ask them to be rational in their thinking rather than emotional which fingerpoint them to follow their deceitful desires of compulsive drinking. Allah mentioned :-

17 : 35 Give full measure when ye measure, and weigh with a balance that is straight: that is the most fitting and the most advantageous in the final determination.

To measure something by its pros and cons rationally will lead you to a rational answer. But sadly, people prefer to follow where their temptations lead them to.

That's what people of the 21st century have come to. They have become too emotional (me included, sigh). To force them to stop drinking would mean raping their natural rights to choose to drink, the so called freedom to do anything they want to, so in the end there's only knowledge to savour and to tell them of the harm of alcoholism. Only through knowledge could people be free from all the chains that bind them to addictions, in general.

"You can get the same benefits of drinking from leading a heart-healthy lifestyle. To me, it's not worth the risk to start drinking. But for people who enjoy a glass of red wine or enjoy drinking, the key is to stick to the definition of moderation."

The above statement, coming from one of the scientists asks us to ponder other pathways of achieving good health. And those who think of wine alone sure needs to check his or her facts. There are a million and one ways to reach that goal.

As busy as a barbie at a barbeque party

2009-10-24T05:38:00.000-07:00

I found myself to be busy in these past few weeks.

Yes. You read it right.

B-u-s-y.

But as life goes on, it carries a different meaning and at this moment, 'busy' in the life dictionary of Afiq Fikri roughly translates as :-

"Reduction in the coefficient of time to do what he wishes to do i.e. blogging."

But most of the time, i pretend to be busy.

Aku, stadium merdeka

2009-10-16T12:18:00.000-07:00

Aku, stadium Merdeka. Pada dasarnya aku adalah sebuah stadium, tetapi sekarang yang tinggal hanyalah seekor Gajah putih di tengah-tengah bandar berlatar belakangkan kemodenan Kuala Lumpur.

Entah mengapa dan bagaimana, nasibku telah difahami oleh seorang jejaka yang konon-konon mempunyai banyak masa dan dia bersetuju untuk menulis apa yang aku ingin ungkapkan kepadanya.

Teringat lagi ketika itu, ketika rakyat tua muda, miskin kaya, Melayu, Cina dan India berkumpul di dalam badanku melaungkan 'Merdeka!'. 'Merdeka!'. 'Merdeka!'. Aku hampir menangis pada hari itu. Mereka menamakan aku sempena hari yang bermakna dalam sejarah negara ini. Wira-wira negara pulang dengan kejayaan membebaskan negara dari penjajahan fizikal oleh British. Tunku Abdul Rahman. Tun Sambanthan. Tun Tan Cheng Lok.

Sejak dari hari itu, lahirlah ramai kawan-kawan di sekeliling ku. Victoria Institution yang telah lama dibina sebelum aku menjadi kawan baik menemani aku selama-lamanya.

Suatu hari dia membisik, 'Tunggu dan lihat. Seorang jaguh boleh sepak bakal dilahirkan. Mokhtar Dahari nama diberi.'

Bulu-bulu roma padang rumputku telah dipijak oleh superhero-superhero zaman dahulu. 'Supermokh' Mokhtar Dahari. 'Spiderman' R. Arumugam. 'Towkay' Soh Chin Aun. 'Singh is king' Santokh Singh. Malaysia menjadi mimpi ngeri negara-negara Asia pada ketika itu. Arsenal dikalahkan, perlawanan dengan England B berakhir dengan keputusan 1-1.

Tahun '75, Muhammad Ali bertandang ke mari dan aku ditugaskan menjadi gelanggang tinju. Ali vs Joe Bugner, antara perlawanan tinju yang paling bosan dalam sejarah sukan. Lampu-lampur banjir di 4 penjuru badanku hampir tertutup kerana terlelap menyaksikan aksi tinju defensif Joe Bugner.

Namun itu semua sudah berlalu. Retakan yang muncul di kulit konkritku melambangkan proses penuaan yang sedang berlaku.

Nasibku mungkin akan sama seperti sepupu sebelah bapaku 'Highbury' di United Kingdom yang diruntuhkan untuk memberi ruang kepada stadium yang baru. Kuala Lumpur sudah ada Stadium Bukit Jalil, yang jauh lebih moden dariku. Kalau tidak pun, Stadium Shah Alam lebih diutamakan. Aku paham, aku paham. Aku hanya sebuah blok simen yang sudah jauh ketinggalan.

Aku tidak mintak diriku dikenangi, tetapi yang aku minta adalah supaya namaku dihayati, difahami, 'Apa erti merdeka sebenarnya?'

Mungkin anak-anak pasca merdeka terlupa akan perjuangan Tok Janggut, Haji Abdul Rahman Limbong, Rentap dan lain-lain. Mungkin dengan kejayaan yang dikecapi membuatkan mereka alpa.

Neokolonisasi minda dan imperialisma jiwa menggantikan penguasaan dalam bentuk penjajahan. Manusia menjadi hamba hiburan berlebihan, ilmu diketepikan. Rakyat hidup dalam kesenangan, segala perjuangan lepas dilupakan.

Tepuk dada, tanya selera.

Merdekakah kita?

Aku telah dinamakan sebagai salah satu tapak sejarah penting tidak lama dahulu. Aku tak perlukan semua itu. Aku tak perlukan pembedahan rekonstruktif untuk memperbaiki diriku.

Biar aku roboh, asalkan mereka memahami erti kemerdekaan yang sebenar.

Selamat hari merdeka.

Rat race, we're all in it.

2009-10-07T11:38:00.000-07:00

A lawyer friend was planning to migrate. His degrading demeanor suggested that Malaysia isn't quite the place for him. It had been quite some time since i last met him. Some things changed about him, but he is still the classmate i knew from way back in Alor Setar.

My friend's dad had a heart attack few weeks back.

In 8 months' time, insya Allah, God willingly, a friend will become a dad. He opened a restaurant in Jitra.

Some friends got married. (while i was writing this line, a friend who tied the knot last summer appeared online on Yahoo Messenger. Congratulations Encik Ikram Rauhi if you're reading this. And to Matpih, happy anniversary, dah setahun kot kawin)

Most of them are becoming capitalistic and are making good money out of their lives.

The atmosphere of chitchats have dramatically changed. Our conversations meandered through the realms of job opportunities and political instabilities. Economics. Family.

Questions like, 'should i vote for the corrupted coalition and risk the chance of going to heaven or for the opposite which is slowly disintegrating inside out; a marriage of conveniance?'.

You don't talk much about these a few years back. It was the same thing over and over again. People asking how is Russia, how are your studies. It used to be, 'Have you listened to the new Korn album?' or 'Did you watch this or that movie?'. But here is where it gets interesting. You have friends that work and they offer you more insight on how life is.

A friend working in a large telecommunications company is being seduced by a sugar mama who sits much higher in the feudalistic hierarchy of a workplace. "Those scenes in those cheap Malay dramas, they're real man." This friend of mine has traveled to Sweden and Dubai for working purposes.

I was sitting with another friend and we chatted of him. "I never saw him as a marketing agent. He never talked much." And i replied, "me either".

But it was another inquisition that kicked that sensation of feeling old inside of me.

People were asking, 'how's your mom doing?'. Virtually every old acquaintance asked me the same question. The question stimulated me so much that i am trying to make it a habit of asking the same question to my friends in every chatting session.

If that question doesn't kick the pre historic or jurassic feelings, then i don't know what will. You do realize that life travels fast and that you yourself are getting older.

Even a look on my face may suggest a man facing his midlife crisis. The baldness. The beard. These visualisations might translate as, "a 40 year old, suffering from depression and marital problems.'

Not quite, but in a sense i do feel old. Now i take less food than before (or am i being delusional here?). As they say, health is wealth. I do think of buying property somewhere in a big city or a car. Work, financial planning, further studies. The evolution, i guess, is natural.

It was funny how i wished to become an adult when i was younger, and now, i am yearning to go back to my teenage years when everything was carefree.

57 : 20 Know that the life of this world is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children. (It is) as the likeness of vegetation after rain, thereof the growth is pleasing to the tiller; afterwards it dries up and you see it turning yellow; then it becomes straw...

It used to be carefree alright, kids only play and play without knowing what bills are and how much do they need to pay. And as you grow older, you start to have hobbies or interests; you start to become proud of your comics' collection or your football skills or musical abilities. Then you think of wealth for you and your family later on. That is basically what the verse above is trying to explain, as mentioned by Nouman Ali Khan in a lecture on YouTube.

Those are the pleasures of life and responsibilities come along. But these are not the ultimate goals of life. Probably later you will realize that these are merely material gains which will not be fruitful without a good conscious and guidance, that they may later become useless yellow and dried leaves falling off an autumn tree.

That's how life is. It could be quite deceiving at times.

I find it heart warming that some friends were asking me about my mom during conversations. Maybe i'm just a little too sentimental. But hey, everyone is getting older with each second gone by.

So yeah, i hope you guys out there are okay and hopefully your families are in great shape.

It's just you and me

2009-10-05T10:49:00.000-07:00

Life support.

The laptop got infected and passed away on a Saturday night.

Unmiraculously, i brought it back to life on a Sunday evening. For a milisecond of my precious life, i thought of finding a replacement. Apple's Macbook sits on top of the list. Oh, and there's only one option in the list.

But i love my laptop too much, no matter how extensively chronic the machine is.

I took the chance to delete most of my songs (a lot) while reformatting it. So now, i'm literally suffering from withdrawal syndrome due to my addiction to those songs. Theoretically, they work in the same way as morphines do. When you get high, your body starts to produce these chemicals, these endorphins and they act on your opioid receptors and as a result, the music hits you and you get high.

Now, check me into rehab for music addiction.

I don't mean to brag or boast, but i lived as a musical jukebox for the most part of my life. Last week it was Animal Collective's 'Grass' playing in my mind. Now, Joy Division's anthemic 'Love will tear us apart.' At times some ambient post rock backtracks (either Explosions in the Sky's 'Memorial' or Damn Dirty Apes' 'Rebel Scum').

Now, it's the desintoxicating period.

Back to life.

I finished reading Douglas Coupland's Microserfs last April. Someone went to New York and got me the book as a gift. A marvelous fiction that chronicled the buzz of 90s' technology development in Silicon Valley and how geeks are able to rule the world.

Sometimes i wish we are able to communicate through a computer in real life. One of the reasons i write is because i am rather untalkative. I prefer to chat instead of talk. Maybe i'm too self conscious of my voice or looks.

I need to change my outlook. My future patients won't have the same idea as i do.

And if only i could insert some RAM to speed up my brain, or to delete some data or to install something as easily as a software. Yes, i know some of you would like to block some person from your life as simple as blocking the pop up windows from your web browser.

The one thing missing is emotion. Machines and computers can't duplicate emotions and that is, my dear friend, the essence of life.

Emotions man, emotions.

Will we see the day when our lives will be reduced to some microchips or drivers imprinted with our conscious, memories and feelings? And plug them in some robot, live forever? I doubt that will happen, but with the rapid bullet train like development of technology, anything goes.

Anything goes in the digital world.

And yes, a simple calculator is able to solve 12231 x 43291 in a split second but in reality, our brain is more superior than a supercomputer.

So, i am going to stop being a musical jukebox and concentrate on fulfilling the prophecy of becoming a geeky supercomputer.

Cookie monster

2009-10-03T11:10:00.001-07:00

Crime Scene Investigation. Who has been stealing the Hari Raya cookies?

2 investigators were appointed. One caught the picture of the perpetrator and the other was still figuring out how to use his camera.

Cookie monster.

We are a cat part 2

2009-10-03T10:29:00.000-07:00

1. My house cat was castrated last week. He is literally ball-less now.

2. There were cysts and he needed an operation. He was rather rough towards the vet, and they had to sedate him for a mini operation. He was rather scared the last time i brought him to the vet and he peed inside the cage.

3. The vet took the opportunity to castrate him so that he won't stroll around that often and hopefully, he will just stay in the house.

4. Those ticks were getting the better of him. They hop onto his body while he is busy socializing with some stray female cats. STDs. Socially transmitted disease.

5. His libido will decrease tremendously now that his testosterone resources are cut off. A male cat loses 1/3 of his life once he is castrated. He still retains the other 2 portions - eating and sleeping.

6. I hope he doesn't fall into depression. I wish i could find a female cat to just take care of him. Get them married of something.

7. "I now pronounce you cat husband and cat wife. You may lick your cat bride and enjoy Friskies together til the end of your 9 cat lives."

8. He used to have a girlfriend but my mom never sanctioned that relationship. She kept eating his food and left him hungry.

9. That happens when a guy or a male thinks with his balls. Now, he has all the time in the world to think with his brain and fulfill his real intellectual potential.

10. Go learn chicken language and ask them, 'Why did you guys cross the road?'. Or dog accent.

The best thing of having a birthday party in your room are the leftovers. In fact, we didn't cook today.

2009-10-01T12:28:00.001-07:00

Untie tie the ribbon, Mr. Vikneswaran. He is my roommate. We had a birthday party cum Hari Raya mini celebration last night. He turned 25 last Tuesday.

This is how the cake really looks like with berries mounting the top.

Candles on the crater.

The main dish was Tomato rice.

I prepared the rice for the party. For the umpteenth time, the tomato flavour was a bit weak, sort of missing in action. I wonder what does it take or how long do i need to soak the rice in tomato pasta before cooking it so that the taste will be everlasting and strong.

Ayam masak merah to complement the tomato rice.

Yours truly, munching. (in case you're wondering how do i look like.Man, i've been putting a lot of pictures of myself.lol)

A barrier within

2009-10-01T11:29:00.000-07:00

Should i stay or should i go?

The great divide.

Like i said, i am not much an outgoing person, so i will be taking pictures from within my room and my hostel. ;p

Ant steps to photography

2009-10-01T09:18:00.000-07:00

The iconic Abbey Road album cover

"A good photograph evokes emotions."-Afiq Fikri, October 2009.

I've always wanted to pick up photography, and so i bought a second hand Nikon D40 dslr recommended by a friend in summer. It was back in 2005 or 2006 that i so wanted to get my hands on one of the machines but due to some reasons, i opted not to.

Actually i wanted to get a decent digicam in the summer because i don't have one (a less than average BenQ digicam doesn't count), but in the end the price was right, so i got a more than decent camera.

Surprise, surprise. When i came back to Volgograd there were a lot of people using the dslr, like some epidemic typhoon had hit them (including me). The sudden surge of DSLR users here is making Digicams look pre historic.

Although it is genderless, maybe i will call it Maria or Chuck or Blackie.

I've yet to take Maria for a walk. In reality, i prefer staying home. So the chances of seeing a picture compilation of 'Top 10 things i love in my room' are higher than 'The sights and scenes and sounds of nature in Volgograd.

As an avid music lover in a previous life, the bulk of nice photos are often observed on album covers. The first is the iconic Abbey Road cover of the Beatles, and the second is Rage Against the Machine's debut album.

They say, pictures paint a thousand words. And RATM's cover album is the picture of Thich Quang Duc, a monk who burnt himself to death as a protest of America's oppressive policies toward Buddhism in Vietnam. It remains one of my favourite pictures due to the sheer fact that humans may go that far when their voices are drowned in a sea of oppression.

And here's Terry Butcher. The England hero kept on playing even after suffering a cut on his forehead in one of the 1990 World Cup Qualifiers against Sweden. He had a few stitches but as a defender, he was forced to head the ball from the penalty box and the wound severed and reopened, and thus, his heroic antics are immortalized.

There are a lot of war pictures, particularly from the Gaza crisis, but this one stands out as my favourite. Saw it on BBC in January and it sticks in my mind. It's a battle of David vs Goliath, against all odds. The smoke in the picture tells us that they're facing mortars and grenades, while they are only able to hurl stones against the Israeli forces.

I can tell you that taking pictures is rather addictive since you strive for perfection in each picture, and if you're not satisfied you would take it over and over again (if you have time, that is).

But then again, i'd rather spend my time writing than to edit some pictures. I'm still coming to terms with all the basics of photography, so if there's any good, i'll post some pictures.

New Hari Raya Look

2009-09-24T09:33:00.001-07:00

Pendekar Laut. Gangster. War casualty look.

My room mate chuckled, "My God, you're turning into one of those aliens in 'District 9'."

Arvin threatened the opposing manager, Sateesh. "If anything happens to Afiq, if he loses his sight, i'm gonna whack you for it." Source of laughter of the floor. The joker.

It all happened in a split second. That microsecond or milisecond to be precise, like those sprinters who consider time to be gold, platinum, silk or whatever they want it to be. The ball hit my right eye, and pressed on the metal frame of my spectacles and somehow it lacerated my eyed lid and and left it bruised. And the pain arrived a few moments later, with a radiating, pulsating sensation.

I squatted, hands over my face, my spectacles crushed and pieces scattered on the ground; a divorce of the lens and the rim. Disjointed and dislocated.

Then i removed my hand, and there were blood stains there. Cool. Never thought i would bleed playing football. The pain was bearable, nothing much but my visual field was acutely reduced for a moment.

It's not the first time. Since i was small, i've frequently changed glasses after being hit by a football.

But that was something new to experience.

Now, i am not a Japanese looking Malaysian anymore. I am a Frenchman, who goes by the name of Ribery. Here's a picture of the guy they call scarface in case you don't know him.

If he had worn braces and afterwards fashion a pair of sunglasses, we would look the same. I wish i could play as good as he is. Or maybe better.

Where i schooled previously, there were all boys and we only played football. Wonderful days. The freshly trimmed smell of grass, that large football field silently whispering to our ears, 'This is freedom' and we ran up and down the field full of energy.

Luckily i didn't lose my sight. At times like this, you must be thankful that you still have a pair of eyes, no matter how myopic they are. It was real blurry at first but now i'm getting better.

By the way, my head is becoming more like this guy below. So if you don't want to call me Ribery the Frenchman, call me by this guy's name. :)

I left my YM status before going to the field ,'mari kita membola sepakkan diri kita.'

And my salty statement (mulut masin) came true.lol.

PS : To Nazrul, if you're reading this, i'm OK. Don't worry.

Autumn is the season

2009-09-22T23:17:00.000-07:00

I wish that we could live in a constant state of autumn.

But without those yellow dried falling leaves which are quite a mess!

The nature has spoken, and the trees answer its call. The leaves of autumn fall one by one from atop of the trees lining the streets, in a process called abscission. They appear yellow, undyed from the stain of chlorophyll and as the sun abates its light, their photosynthesis halts. They appear to be dead, starved of sunlight but they're always ready to bud out once spring arrives.

It's not quite heaven but it's gorgeous. I was never reluctant to choose autumn as my favourite season. Maybe it's the joy of seeing those trees undress themselves.

Cue the first autumn, my first autumn in 2004.

Autumn welcomed me in Moscow in 2004. There i was, a Japanese looking Malaysian staying for a few days in the suburbs of Moscow . There were unfriendly stares but i just assumed i was so good looking that they thirsted for a gaze of my face.

A foreigner, i was. But it was not love at first sight. Autumn in Moscow didn't leave a good impression on me. The air was too dusty for my liking. There were modern day buildings everywhere. I was yet to discover the real autumn until i descended South towards Volgograd, or better known as Stalingrad.

And there, i settled down and sunk deep into the tranquility of autumn's perfect weather. If it were a furniture, then it should be one of those large massage chairs. That comfortable sensation once you toss that 50 cent coin into the slot of one of the chairs in those big shopping malls. If it was food, it has to be KFC or Ikan Keli with that thick irresisteble sweet sambal sauce. I go "OoooAaaa" thinking of those delicacies. Nothing beats those foods. Period.

It was neither cold nor hot, the perfect weather to play football. You can say the same thing about spring, but my love for autumn vetoes any semblance of affection for any other season, because true love needs no reason. As Pushkin once said in his poem, a tribute to his beloved season :-

The latter days of fall are often cursed,
But as for me, kind reader, she is precious.

To the late Mr. Pushkin, we share the same sentiments.

The birds buy their tickets not to run away from autumn, but to escape from the forth coming winter. They flock their nests behind for a warmer climate. The trees start to descend into that deep coma, that hibernation akin to polar bears. These are called deciduous trees, while there are evergreen trees which are able to withstand the cold weather, such as the pine tree.

As Tariq Ramadan noted in his book, 'In The Footsteps of the Prophet', "..living close to nature, observing, understanding and respecting it, is an imperative of deep faith. ". According to the book, while facing conflicts in Medina, Allah revealed verse 3 : 190 "Behold! in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the alternation of night and day,- there are indeed Signs for men of understanding,". It was reported in a hadith narrated by Ibn Marduwyah that one morning, while Bilal was alerting the Prophet SAW for the Dawn prayer, he asked, 'O Messenger of Allah! What makes you cry?'. And the answer was ,"O Bilal! What prevents me from crying, when this night this verse (3:190) was revealed to me." (This can be found in Tafsir Ibn Kathir)

There are other verses for example 2:164 that asks us to ponder the nature, the invention of the Creator. While some think that learning religious techniques (prayers and pilgrimage) is sufficient, Tariq Ramadan argues that these spiritual substances (understanding nature, universe, emotions) make up a portion of religion to help us understand the objectives of life, in general, which could bring us closer to the Creator.

Henceforth, the nature has spoken, and i gaze and observe its beauty with a sense of sincerity and thankfulness for such a marvelous season.

A song to accompany autumn. :)

Liverpool, Kartika dan....

2009-09-22T02:19:00.000-07:00

1. Selepas bertahun lamanya menjadi peminat Liverpool FC, kelab ini akhirnya menamatkan kontrak dengan syarikat minuman keras ternama di dunia. Boleh menang liga lah lepas ini nampaknya! Ya lah, macam mana nak berkat main bola sambil mengiklankan minuman keras? Aku iringi berita ini dengan rasa penuh kesyukuran penuh ikhlas.

2. Senang sikit nak beli jersi lepas ni. Bukan apa, memang ada jersi Liverpool cetak rompak yang tulis 'Liverpool' menggunakan font tulisan jenama minuman keras itu, tapi aku nak jugaklah jersi yang nampak macam asli sikit. Peminat Manchester United mahu ke beli jersi yang tulis BIG,CIG,ZIG kat depan? Nak ke peminat Arsenal pakai jersi tertera 'Fly Sekolah' di dada?

3. Diharapakan lepas ini Celtic dan Real Madrid dapat mengikuti jejak langkah murni ini dengan menamatkan kontrak bersama syarikat minuman keras yang tidak begitu ternama dan syarikat judi alam maya.

4. Selepas sambutan Raya, rakyat Malaysia akan kembali menumpukan perhatian kepada kes Kartika yang ditangguhkan hukumannya. Hakim Mahkamah Syariah Kuantan, Datuk Abdul Rahman Md. Yusof tetap dengan pendiriannya, dan saya bersetuju dengannya.

5. Mari kita lihat balik al-Qur'an, bagaimana pengharaman alkohol (dan sewaktu dengannya lah!) dilaksanakan oleh Allah. Allah menurunkan 3 ayat; 4:43 pada mulanya, yang melarang manusia bersolat dalam keadaan mabuk, kemudian turunlah pula 2:219 yang menyebut "..pada keduanya (arak dan judi) ada dosa besar dan ada pula beberapa manfaat bagi manusia, tetapi dosa keduanya lebih besar" dan akhirnya turunlah ayat melarang pengambilan alkohol 5:90-91.

6. Kenapa Allah perlukan 3 ayat, sedangkan Allah mestilah sudah tahu manusia akan menyalah gunakan minuman tersebut? Saya bukanlah penafsir hebat seperti Ibn Kathir yang mengaitkan hadis dan penurunan ayat-ayat al-Qur'an atau Sayyid Qutub yang menghasilkan tafsir yang dikatakan moden, tapi saya rasakan ini menunjukkan psikologi manusia yang sukar berubah dari yang buruk ke baik. Sukar untuk seseorang manusia berubah secara drastik, jadi pendekatan itu haruslah halus dan Allah menurunkan 3 ayat supaya mereka tidak culture shock kerana budaya itu menjadi sebahagian daripada mereka.

7. Sisters in Islam pulak memohon penangguhan hukuman ini dan meminta agar ia dikaji semula. Mungkin mereka menganggap ini satu penindasan kepada kaum wanita iaitu suatu hukuman fizikal. Tapi bukan mereka kah yang memperjuangkan hak sama rata dan adil bagi laki dan perempuan? Laki kena rotan, kenapa perempuan tak boleh pula? Sama rata? Nak sangat kesama rataan tersebut, nah ambik kau! Kartika pun dah setuju.

8. Tidak kurang juga media antarabangsa yang ada memberi komen tentang isu ini. Salah seorangnya ialah Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf. Dia mengatakan penggunaan perkataan ijtinab (menjauhkan atau avoid) di dalam ayat 5 : 90 adalah perkataan yang lebih lembut dari tahrim (pengharaman atau prohibition) di dalam artikelnya dan tidak bersetuju dengan hukuman tersebut.

9. Tetapi apa yang kita nampak di sini adalah kelemahan Mahkamah Syariah yang tidak diselarikan di seluruh Malaysia. Nampak kelonggaran yang senang dipermainkan oleh pihak asing. Tidak kurang jugak mereka yang hanya tahu mengkritik tanpa mengetahui hukuman rotan itu tidaklah se-brutal hukuman rotan di mahkamah sivil. Mungkin perlu dikaji semula sistem Mahkamah syariah dan menguatkan lagi Majlis Fatwa Kebangsaan seperti cadangan Dr. MAZA.

10. Aku bersetuju dengan pemuda PAS yang ingin mengemukakan cadangan mengawal penjualan arak, tapi sampai sekarang tak nampak lagi apa cadangan tersebut. MB Kedah pun menyoal tindakan pemuda PAS ini.

11. Tapi keadaan memang tidak dimudahkan akibat jeritan 'Ini hak asasi manusia!' daripada golongan yang memperjuangkan hak kebebasan.

12. Persoalannya siapa nak dipersalahkan? Salah kerajaan kerana tidak mengharamkan terus arak? Salahkan ibu bapa yang tidak mendidik anak-anak? Ataupun kau nak salahkan Liverpool kerana mengiklankan minuman keras di dada? Daripada menuding jari, aku masih rasa perlunya didikan dari semua pihak tentang keburukan minuman keras ini. Kalau kau nak salahkan Liverpool pun aku tak kisah.

13. Dan juga perlunya undang-undang yang selari dan lebih ketat agar pesalah-pesalah lain juga diberi hukuman yang sama dengan Kartika. Memang nampak kurang adil apabila ramai lagi yang terlepas sedangkan Kartika ditangkap dan dijatuhkan hukuman. Aku fikir perlunya perbincangan yang mendalam tentang hal ini kerana hukuman tersebut bukanlah sesuatu yang absolut, tetapi relatif yang boleh diubah-ubah kerana tidak pernah ditetapkan sebelum ini.

14. Harus diingatkan, janganlah kita pandang rendah kepada sesiapa sahaja yang melakukan kesalahan dengan hinaan yang tidak tentu fasal. Di dalam satu hadis : - “Seorang lelaki bernama ‘Abdullah, digelar ‘himar’ (kaldai). Dia pernah menyebabkan Rasulullah s.a.w ketawa. Juga pernah Nabi s.a.w. menyebatnya (menjatuhkan hukuman) disebabkan kesalahan meminum arak. Pada suatu hari dia ditangkap lagi (disebabkan kesalahan meminum arak), maka baginda pun menghukum lalu dia disebat. Seorang lelaki berkata: “Ya Allah! Laknatilah dia, alangkah kerap dia ditangkap”. Lantas Nabi s.a.w pun bersabda: “Jangan kamu semua melaknatinya! Demi Allah apa yang aku tahu dia mencintai Allah dan RasulNya”. (Riwayat al-Bukhari). Artikel penuh boleh dibaca di sini.

15. Malangnya sekarang ada setengah golongan yang mengutuk malah ada yang ingin memboikot orang-orang yang melakukan kesalahan. Habes macholah kot nak boikot-boikot ni.

16. Apa-apa pun, marilah kita doakan agar Kartika dapat lebih mendekatkan diri kepada Yang Maha Esa selepas ini.

17. Itu sajalah kot! Sekian, terima kasih.

Gusti

2009-09-21T22:12:00.000-07:00

Sebelum aku cakap benda yang serius, harini aku nak cakap pasal gusti.

Bukan gusti lengan. Sukan yang sungguh gay di mana 2 lelaki berpegang-pegang tangan. Bukan juga gusti Greco-Roman. Itu lagi gay, berpeluk-pelukan di atas lantai. Tapi aku maksudkan ialah gusti lah, yang paling gay antara ketiga-tiga jenis gusti ni, yang biasa ditayangkan di TV tu.

Taktau kenapa, aku sungguh tertarik dengan gusti WE (dulu WWF). Ramai kata ini hiburan tahap rendah, tapi aku apa kisah. Aku tak tengok Doktor Rumah, Anatomi Kelabu, Pembisik Hantu, Gadis-gadis gosip, Duit kotor seksi atau serial yang lain. Aku bukan kaki series atau kaki televisyen, cuma kalau terbuka TV, ada wrestling, aku tunggu tengok sekejap.

Kebanyakan cerita-cerita ini mempunyai watak-watak yang pretentious, konon-konon merekalah orang paling penting di muka bumi ini.

Tapi aku tengok jugak Nur Kasih balik Malaysia haritu. Dan aku rasa series terbaik adalah '6 kaki dalam', cerita pasal pengurus rumah mayat dan keluarganya yang tak dapat melarikan stigma minda daripada kematian dan pengendalian mayat yang dicop oleh masyarakat sekeliling.

Aku rasa gusti 90an adalah antara era terbaik sekali. Terbukti sekali ia era terbaik kerana DegenerationX kembali wujud di WE sekarang kerana mereka sedar populariti gusti era 90an.

Gusti sungguh stereotype dan predictable. Tapi aku still suka.

Tiap minggu ada saja yang kena penangan 'Siku Rakyat' dari The Rock. Teruk lagi, kena pencak 'Batu Nisa' Undertaker. Tak puas lagi, ada yang kena sepakan maut 'Musik Dagu Manis' Shawn Michaels. Tapi paling aku suka bila tengok Dudley Boyz keluarkan meja untuk buat slam.

Tiap minggu kau akan tengok benda yang sama. Pukul skit-skit, emosi terlebih. Kena slam sikit, sakit macam kena sebat di dalam mahkamah sivil.

Tapi still aku enjoy. Aku selalu sembang dengan Ilyas Zubir, rakan karib aku pasal gusti waktu sekolah dulu. Kami bincang gusti dengan penuh intonasi intelektual. Apatah lagi dia, suka bergusti dengan abangnya di rumah. Macam-macam jenis gerakan dah dicubanya.

Apa pengajaran yang aku dapat? Tiada apa-apa. Sebab itulah ianya entertainment semata-mata.

Tapi rasanya lepas ni, aku nak berhenti tengok wrestling. Selalu sangat The Rock menang, tak pon John Cena.

Life goes on. Mungkin aku nak tengok tinju muai Thai kot lepas ni.

Bahasa ibunda

2009-09-21T07:08:00.000-07:00

Bangun pagi ini, tatkala matahari memancarkan sinar UV yang membantu menghasilkan Vitamin D dalam badan, terlintas niat di hati kalbuku untuk menulis di dalam bahasa ibunda, bahasa Melayu.

Nak kata aku mimpi cikgu BM aku, tak jugak. Nak kata aku mimpi pun, aku tidurr mati malam tadi selepas mengintoksikasikan badan aku dengan makanan-makanan berminyak bin berlemak.

Teringat zaman aku pernah tulis bahasa Melayu di dalam 'between faith and football', walaupun seketika. Aku gabungkan minat bola sepak dengan sisipan keagamaan. Ramai komen ia lawak. Aku pun rasa ia bangang bin lucu.

Zaman kanak-kanak kot. Belum betul-betul dewasa. Kids say the darnest things.

Ada kata aku lepas geram. Mungkin benar, mungkin tidak.

Memang penulisan bergantung kepada pembacanya. Kau tidak tahu pun isi hati aku, aku pun taktau apa isi hati aku sebenarnya. Aku ikhlas atau tak, geram atau sayang, rindu atau benci, aku serahkan kepada Tuhan yang Maha Esa untuk menilaiku dari ujung rambutku yang makin menipis, hinggalah ke jiwaku yang misteri.

Macam Butterfingers pernah bagi tazkirah (peringatan), "Dosa dan pahalaku, Tuhan saja, Tuhan saja yang tahu," di dalam lagu 'tentang-tentang'.

Grunge rockers pun punyai emosi.

Apa-apa sajalah!

Post mortem

2009-09-21T06:36:00.000-07:00

If Ramadhan was a preparation, a training of sorts, then these following few days are the acid tests.

Actually, yesterday was the acid test. The first. Numero uno. Pervi.

It was actually about setting goals for yourself. If you've set for a change in certain aspects in your life, for example, to be more consistent in doing things, then measure yourself and see if there's any improvement.

If you've told yourself before Ramadhan ,"I want to try not to talk bad things about people", then look at your words. Have you been saying bad things about someone?

Weight reduction? Go and buy a weighing scale and check your weight. If you've lost some, then bravo.

Did you eat a lot yesterday? Did you starve yourself for a month only to vehemently push yourself to the limit by eating a lot on the first day of raya? *looks to the ceiling, whistling*

Or maybe you want to set yourself up to wake up once a week for qiamullail after this?

It's up to you to redefine your Ramadhan, which could be measured by as early as these following weeks to see how effective it was.

I want consistency, in everything i do with my life. Here i would like to share a hadith with you guys : -

Daripada Aisyah r.a bahawa Rasulullah SAW bersabda: "Tingkatkanlah amalanmu dengan baik, atau lebih dekatlah kepada kebaikan, dan bergembiralah, kerana amalan seseorang itu tidak dapat memasukkannya ke dalam syurga. Para sahabat bertanya, "Adakah amalanmu juga begitu, wahai Rasulullah"? Jawab Rasulullah SAW: "Amalanku juga begitu. Tetapi Allah melimpahiku dengan rahmat-Nya. Ketahuilah, sesungguhnya amalan yang paling disukai oleh Allah SWT ialah amalan yang dikerjakan secara berterusan walaupun sedikit". (riwayat al-Bukhari dan Muslim)

So in the end, the efficacy of Ramadhan depends if there's any change in you, if you've set a goal of your Ramadhan. It's never too late to check yourself up.

Better late than never, as they say.

We are a cat

2009-09-18T09:39:00.000-07:00

I have a pet. It is a cat. His name is 'Teh Besar' because his fur used to be milky white, but now there are patches of milo brown on his body. Now, we only call him Teh.
Actually we had a few cats in the house ; Abu, Teh Kecik, Tam and Teh Besar. Teh Kecik died after an accident in front of the house, and we buried him in the lawn, where flowers are blooming over his cemetary.
Abu then got depressed, and caught hepatitis and passed away. Tam was more of a punk rock cat and was really rebellious. His body was found mummified in between the tall grass of the field in front of the house.
And so, the only cat remaining is Teh Besar.

The title of this post is borrowed from a translation of 'Wagahai wa neko de aru', a Japanese novel. Grammatically, it translates as 'I am a cat', but according to a friend's post, there's a tone of arrogance in the original Japanese, which may be properly translated as 'We are a cat', in royal plural form.
As you can see above, the cat still has balls, literally. Mama decided not to castrate Teh as she predicted he might be depressed after the procedure. So right now, he might be inseminating a she-cat, at some cat club, in a cat town somewhere in a cat universe.
And he likes to mimick sleeping poses of human beings. As you can see above, he is sleeping in this supine position, although nampak kurang sopan sikit. Few weeks back, my mum slept beside him on a pillow, and he went on to sleep on my mum's shin, which becamse a makeshift pillow for him. I saw my sis sleeping in the living room, with her back arched. And he went on to sleep in the same way beside my sis.

The cat doesn't like me much. I still remember a time when i arrived back home from Langkawi, he saw me and made the jump for safety, only to end up hitting the sliding door which he thought wasn't there. But when i was in Malaysia last summer holidays, he became super friendly with me. At times, he even rubbed his back against my legs.
Maybe because he was sick. He was dehydrated when me and mama brought him to the clinic. Some ticks were sucking his blood and when the vet sprayed some medicine on his body, those ticks came out in droves from the creases of his body.
He is scared of males. He recognizes males as creatures who wear long pants. He would recognize me as a female everytime i wear a sarong in the last few years.
However, this past summer, just as i thought he knows me pretty well, he proved me wrong yet again. I changed spectacles and in an instance, he thought i was someone else and ran away everytime i came close to him. But i don't really mind.
He seeks for attention. As you can see in the picture above, everytime i start to read the newspaper, he will come over and sleep over the spread so that i could shift our attention to him.

There is a legend that our Prophet Muhammad PBUH had a pet cat named Muezza (When Cats Reigned Like Kings, page 4). According to a line of the book, 'He once cut off the sleeve of his garment rather than disturb the little fellow who had fallen asleep there.' Althought the validity of such story could not be confirmed through any hadith (or maybe i've yet to discover it), there is another hadith which instructed us to take good care of pets in general : -

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: A woman was punished because of a cat. She had neither provided her with food nor drink, nor set her free so that she might eat the insects of the earth.

Literally, Abu Huraira means 'father of the kitten' because he used to have a cat when he was small. He was a sahaba who was blessed with exceptional memory, whose name is mentioned in a lot of hadith as a part of the chain of transmission.

So please be nice to your pets, even though they don't recognize you once you've changed your spectacles.

The Hari Raya Post

2009-09-17T08:59:00.000-07:00

Ramadhan is a vacation. A peaceful retreat from our worldly endeavours. For one month, Muslims observe fasting from dawn til sunset. And at nights, we continue our intensive month-long devotion by performing extra prayers and some wake up in the wee hours of morning to supplicate to Allah.

For the past one month, we have slipped ourselves into the shoes of those who are suffering from scarcity of food and hunger. But fasting, as a concept is not only confined as a physical test for Muslims. It was a spiritual journey to find ourselves.

It was narrated in a hadith that Jinns are being tied in this holy month. Whether it was a metaphorical statement or a reality which does take place, Ramadhan should reflect who we really are because there are no external voices to influence us. And we should look at the reflection and observe if there's anything wrong with it, do a post mortem.

The month itself is a gift, with Allah giving all sorts of benefits never bestowed upon any other period of the year. It was the month the Quran was revealed. It was a month where we train ourselves not to entertain our desires.

It carries a message of universal understanding, to make us realize that there are those who are not as lucky as we are and the zakat fitrah (obligatory alms giving) plants the seeds of charity inside us all. And our health seems to optimize in this month.

Now, we have arrived at the end of this month. Some of you may cry, because you miss your loved ones back home, and some of you might miss Ramadhan because you love it so much.

Regardless of your reasoning, i think we all should stay upbeat for Syawwal. It is the time for us to rejoice. Don't be sad, because it is a time of joy and happiness, to give and forgive. Don't regret something you were not able to do in the month of Ramadhan. If you think you didn't give enough for charity, or didn't wake up in the early morning hours to pray, you still have a lot of time til the next Ramadhan. You could perform these deeds in any month preceding Ramadhan, although the benefits might be different. You won't get anything by only regretting and being sad.

And if there's any good deed you've done, keep on doing it, don't let the momentum stop. The month was a training process for betterment, not merely a stop where you decide to become pious for one month and leave everything behind afterwards.

And enjoy Raya, too. I used to dislike Raya, but as i grow older i do understand the significance of Hari Raya. It is actually the only time every family member would gather and meet each other.

Therefore, i would like to wish you all Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitiri especially to my beloved mama, kak eja and kak yein. And to all my family and friends and the readers of this humble blog. Thanks for the support.

Look East Policy

2009-09-12T21:13:00.000-07:00

When Dr. M suggested the look East policy, he was actually asking us Malaysians to glance our eyes upon Japanese looking people like me.

Now, a lot of Malaysians like sushi and watch anime.

Dr. M himself opened his restaurant, 'The Loaf' which is based on Japanese technology in bakery.

More importantly, there are a lot of Japanese half breeds like i am. I am Japanese, not Jawanese, and you are not.

Proton cars, yes, they are like me, half breeds. Malaysian cars with either Mitsubishi designs or engines complementing them. Mixed marriage. But if this machine fusion is an indicator of how a Japanese and Malaysian human marriage would turn out, then i suggest you not to tie the knot with any Sakura, Kukiko or Kaoru. Just read all the testimonials of Proton users and you will be left wondering what would be the fate of your children. Better not and never.

Reading Prof. Dzulkifli Abdul Razak's column this morning, i keep thinking, 'what are the cultural artefacts could we really classify as Malaysian culture?". Our cars are not really Malaysian 100%. Chinese and Indians brought their culture from their mainland. Now the Malays are accused of shoplifting Indonesian culture by some journalists who go by the name of either Susilo, Wijayanta, or Markisa.

Now, attempts are being made to culturalize our kuih muih to become some sort of national identity or emblem so that some day, some Englishmen who bear the names of either David, Beckham, Michael or Owen (yes, the ones who ruled our country) will never claim those kuih muihs were invented by them.

"Kek Lapis Apollo tu, I yang buat tau," will probably be some of the stereotypical lines you may here from some Victoria, Diana or Margaret who had learned to prepare such cuisines while they colonized our land.

It is a well known fact that the English, while colonizing the land of Muthusamy, Ramalingam and Chandra, discovered that the locals were playing a game called poona. The English took it back to England, reburbished it and renamed it badminton.

What will be the fate of our kuih muihs? Only time will tell.

But knowing Malaysia, as the Prof testifies, these are just mere attempts that will never transpire.

Our dreams of seeing "karipap (R)" or "karipap (TM) will never see the light of day.

All i can say is, the Malaysian culture is a complicated culture. Even in the Islamic lifestyle of ours, there are a lot of cultural mix up which could still be traced until today.

Now, we go back to Japan.

According to Dr. M's blog, the Liberal Democratic Party, the party which had been ruling the country since post world war 2, lost against Democratic Party in the recent elections.

Since we like to learn from the Japanese, will there be any changes in the political sphere of Malaysia?

And so, in the end, could we hypothesize that the policy was successful?

PS : The title was meant to promote my blog to some 3rd or 4th graders who are finding out what the real 'Look East Policy' is all about for their History assignments.

District 9

2009-09-12T05:17:00.000-07:00

1. It was a good movie.

2. But it doesn't rank in my top 5, because it is not an excellent film.

3. After watching Americans (and only Americans) trounce aliens in most movies, it was good to see a South African male saving the universe.

4. Not all aliens are evil.

5. It was clearly a resemblance of the apartheid issue in South Africa, but on an intergalactic scale.

6. I like the way the story unfolds and the cinematography, the message is at times akin to 'Watchmen' which i watched on the way back to Malaysia last July.

7. It's this heightened state of paranoia, the uneasiness stemming from the fact that there are much superior beings living by our side; that at any split second, they are able to kill you.

8. In 'Watchmen', which was adapted from a graphic novel written by the supremo, Alan Moore, instead of aliens in District 9, there were superheroes who were above the law and have mutant like abilities (only Dr. Manhattan actually) in the movie.

9. Both movies depicted the possibilities that might materialize if such events were to take place, fiction tales with social commentaries.

10. In reality, a pandemic of paranoia towards America is a normal tradition throughout the world, since they have the abilities to wipe out countries that they deem to harbor terrorists.

11. In Malaysia, i don't think it is befitting to label it as being paranoid, but people are rising up against ISA because such act magnify ministers to the point of being 'superman', according to "Section 8(1) of the ISA provides that “if the Minister is satisfied” that a person is a threat to national security or public order, the Minister may order his detention. The Minister’s power is absolute and subjective. No prior procedural requirements or need to consult with anyone are required. Courts have no jurisdiction to review the detention order" and suppress a person's right to protect himself by defying the detainees from appeals or reviews.

12. Nevertheless, i still favour ISA, but in a less draconian modified form, as mentioned by Prof. Datuk Dr. Shad Saleem Faruqi in his article in The Star.

13. Didn't i mention i wanted to write something shorter?

14. Neill Blomkamp is legend.

Hello.

2009-09-12T05:00:00.000-07:00

Since lately most people prefer to write short posts, i will try to keep em short. Got to be cliche once in awhile.

The Descendancy

2009-09-07T20:13:00.000-07:00

It has been quite awhile. How's your Ramadhan going on? We are into the final third of Ramadhan and hopefully the month has been a blast for you.

Since we are still in the holy month of Ramadhan, i think i am obliged to write something beneficial.

38 : 29 (This is) a Book (the Qur'an) which We have sent down to you, full of blessings, that they may ponder over its Verses, and that men of understanding may remember.

What about the Qur'an you ask?

Well, as Khalid Yasin explained in one of his lectures, it's a manual for human beings.

Like, for example, i just bought this dSLR Nikon D40 and was complimented with a user manual from probably the inventors of that camera. Of course any invention or machinery comes along with a set of manual on how to use it. In order for me to be able to fully utilise it, of course i have to go through the pages, try to understand what it is all about.

Likewise, Allah gave us the Qur'an as the divine message, a guidance, a manual on how to live this temporary life. Since the creator knows us better, what better way than for us to follow this manual. This is the final revelation from Allah, and is guaranteed to last til the end of times. And at the same time, he chose Muhammad PBUH as the final messenger to show the way. Just like some complicated machinery that needs an explanation from a technician, the Prophet PBUH was an example for each one of us to follow.

The Prophet PBUH received his first revelation at the cave of Hira, when the angel Jibrail came to him and taught him the first few verses of the Qur'an (96 : 1-5). While the popular belief is that the event took place on the night of 17th Ramadhan, some scholars believe that the occasion transpired on the night of 21st of Ramadhan. From a hadtih narrated by Abu Qatadah,when the Prophet PBUH was asked about fasting on Monday, Muhammad PBUH replied "On it i was born, and on it the Revelation descended upon me." From calculations conducted, the 7th, 14th and 21st nights of Ramadhan that year fell on Mondays. And aptly, they prefer the 21st as the possible night since from the Qur'an was sent down on the night of Al-Qadr (97:1). As we are informed through some narrations, Lailatul Qadr occurs in the last 10 nights of Ramadhan, most likely on odd nights. (The Sealed Nectar, page 87).

The Prophet went crazy, and it was normal for a sane man, with a perfectly normal mental status would react, and Allah explained in the Qur'an that he was not a madman (52:29). And in the period of 23 years, he received revelations in various forms and established a reform never seen before in the history of mankind.

Throughout the years, the Qur'an has been studied extensively, with various discoveries ranging from science to human relations to the study of nature, jurisprudence and so on, it was a revelation that changed the course of history.

One aspect of the Qur'an which is hard to replicate is its intricate and eloquent Arabic language. At that period of time, Arabia was full of kahins who were according to Reza Aslan "revealed divine messages through rhyming couplets". And so, Allah delivered the Qur'an in with a touch of divine literature, applying Arabic with a poetic touch to challenge these poets to produce something similar.

Of course, they failed miserably.

17 : 88 Say: "If the mankind and the jinn were together to produce the like of this Qur'an, they could not produce the like thereof, even if they helped one another."

It's hard to replicate such writings and the translations could not really capture the originality and beauty of the language of the Qur'an. Marmaduke Pickthall tried to translate the Qur'an with a poetic touch, and wrote his magnum opus "The Meaning of the Glorious Qur'an" which was authorized by Al Azhar university. He mentioned that the Qur'an has "that inimitable symphony, the very sounds of which move men to tears and ecstacy." However, he made quite a simple claim in his foreword, "the Qur'an could not be translated."

In the end it depends on our intention and hardwork to understand the Qur'an. There are a lot of translations out there for those who are not well versed in Arabic. Recall this hadeeth from Bukhari :

"He who is skillful in reciting the Qur’aan is with the unveiled, honorable, and pious (i.e. Hur al-Ain). And he who stutters when reading the Qur’aan, (and its recitation) is difficult upon him, will receive two rewards."

For our difficulties, we will receive twice the reward. So what are you waiting for?

Sidenote : Whoever did those demonstrations with the cow head, well let's just call them ignorant. There's a good article by Amin Ahmad on Malaysian Insider.

6 : 108 And insult not those whom they (disbelievers) worship besides Allah...

Real Muslims tolerate other religions and cultures, as that was the way the Prophet PBUH showed us. And those people do not show the slighest semblance of what Islam is all about. Believe me, those are just politically and emotionally influenced people who have nothing else to do in life. Malaysian Muslims, mostly are silent because they are sick and tired of the political fiasco behind all those demonstrations.

Ramadhan

2009-08-17T20:20:00.000-07:00

Islamic Pillars Production Presents the event of the year

An Ibadah decreed by Allah ages ago, a month blessed by His will

"When Ramadan begins, the gates of Paradise are opened."- Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. (narrated by Abu Hurairah)

Ramadhan رمضان

Featuring:
30 days of fasting* from Fajr (dawn) til Maghrib (sunset)

Guest appearances:
30 nights of tarawih
Lailatul Qadr 97 : 1-5 (special appearance)

2 : 183 O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint

COMING TO YOU THIS AUGUST/SEPTEMBER

*terms and conditions apply

Yun-nammed

2009-08-16T07:22:00.000-07:00

I opted for ginseng tea while they served me with a 20 minute video portraying the life of a woman who thought her hair loss was caused by the big C. Yun Nam interviewed her after the treatment and she recalled her dreadful situation, and started to cry in an attempt to inject sympathy in the heart of viewers.

I felt sympathetic. Not for the woman, but for the poor level of acting from her. She deserved a sympathy for her failure to try and lure me to believe that this treatment would work.

Utterly pathetic. Maybe she deserved some kind of an award.

Yes, i was there to treat my hair loss, which i thought was normal.

"It runs in the family."

The lady in front of me, who talked as fast as a bullet train asked, "Try to compare yourself with your classmates, do you still think it's normal?"

"Here's the thing. You know Ronaldinho and his teeth. He could have worn braces but he never did. Ribery? The French footballer? He has a scar along the side of his face, but with his money he could not only affort a plastic surgery, he could even afford to buy a new face for himself! The word here is C-O-N-T-E-N-T. Content. I spelled that for you. I'm here due to my ardent belief that paradise is beneath a mother's sole, and my mum asked me to come here. In other words, coming to this place is one of the tickets to get to paradise. I don't want to hurt her feelings although i've been a wacko of a son."

Which she could have probably replied, "But you're neither Ronaldinho or Ribery."

But as predicted, that was only my subconscious mind flowing. I faked a gleeful expression and answered, "Yes, compared to my friends i don't think it's normal to lose hair at 23."

I lied and she happily agreed.

She proceeded to ask me how often do i shampoo and i answered, "Everyday."

Then she scanned my hair. Last night i had slept over at my friend's apartment in Kota Damansara and since i woke up late, i didn't take my bath and went straight to Subang Parade for the appointment.

And so the scan showed an oily and dirty scalp. I was a bit embarrassed but deep inside i was laughing hysterically. ["My God! Whose hair is on that screen!?"]But really, i do shampoo everyday and she asked again just to confirm it. I suddenly thought of the days when i used to wear braces and remembered the times when i would intentionally eat and not brush my teeth before appointments. All those chicken or meat or fish would get stuck in between those metal plates and my teeth and the orthodontist would get a bit angry.

So, if one day, i get patients with weird habits, then i should not even mutter a complaint. That's karma chasing me back, following me every step of my life for my sins against the hair care specialist and orthodontist. Only God knows what kind of patients i might have in the future.

Note : Kids and adults, don't even try to follow the bad example i've given above.

She mentioned while motioning to the screen that my sebaceous glands were producing too much oil, some pores have closed, and my baby hair were dropping. Each pore was supposed to spring out 3-5 strands of hair, mine were only 2 for most of the pores. "Maybe it was due to tension or emotional stress."

I can't remember myself having emotional stress 3 years back when it started. If her statement has truth in it, then it might be due to the taunts i faced from Manchester United supporters for the past 3 years which i would deem 'quite stressful'. I wanted to explain to her Mendellian genetics; that it was all in the family from both sides of my parents but i forgot what it was all about. Excessive, recessive, dominant. Even if i could remember the theory, it would be a waste of time explaining.

In the end, she offered a home treatment since i could not make it to her saloon every week. It was quite expensive, too expensive for my liking and i told my mum it was not worth saving my hair for such amount of money. She said she's the one paying. For me to give suggestions on how to spend that money in a better way would be insulting.

Remember kids, 'syurga di bawah tapak kaki ibu.' Even if you're a punk (like me), you need to heed your momma's sayings. Even when you think it's not that beneficial for you.

Lunar

2009-08-16T06:17:00.000-07:00

"How's work?"

"It's not a noble profession. But my results qualified me for a limited range of courses, and that was one of them."

"Then why are you still in it?"

"Because i'm not a noble person. I am known for my abilities to twist things around. Opinions are sacred man. Nobody is wrong in an argument."

"Any plans for a migration?"

"Australia. It's the ideal place for me."

"Don't you feel obliged to serve your country, your people?"

"What did the country give me that i should suddenly become charitable and serve it? Yes, i took the scholarship but i can't get rich working for the government. You'd better get out of this place."

"Well, i might not be ambitious, but i still feel there's a need to serve the people."

"That's you. When you later find out that the country doesn't give a damn of your existence, then you will regret not heeding my advice."

"You are not doing something to expect anything in return. I've been to local hospitals and when you see those people suffering, certainly there's an urge to stay in the country."

"You can still serve aborigines while you're in Australia. And please, do become a cardiologist since i may have some cardio problems later on. I'm stressed out of my work. Lying constantly."

"Stop smoking then."

"Either way, i will still get those heart diseases."

"I'm promoting a healthier lifestyle because that's what my future profession is all about."

"Take it this way. You want to get to point A. Someone travels by land, you by sea, me by air. We'll get to the destination no matter what."

"Well at least you're cancelling out one risk factor."

"I will still get there. To destination A."

"Whatever."

"It's different you know thinking back how we grew up in Kedah. A guy like me, if i had grown up here in KL, then that would be a recipe for destruction. I could have turned out to be heartless."

"Good to know you still have a heart."

"I still have plans for marriage."

"Coming from a guy like you, that's pretty weird."

"Like i said, a guy like me could have become someone heartless if the environment was hellish enough. Environmental factors, you know, things around you that shape who you really are."

"You're one lunatic guy, demented. What about pre-enupts? Have they started to practice it here in Malaysia?"

"It's stupid man. That thing. It's like you're thinking of the possibilities of a divorce even before you tie the knot. That idea will rot your head and eventually,it will happen."

"I see."

"I've been a paranoid myself. I think of all the worst case scenarios in my life and sometimes they get the better of me. I'm thinking few steps ahead but it does give you the creeps."

"You need to see a psychiatrist. Not a psychologist."

"Beats me. I need to do some spying. A husband is cheating on her wife. See you later. Maybe in 5 years time. I wonder what will happen then."

"Yea. 5 years."

100:Centurion

2009-08-12T08:12:00.000-07:00

This is.

100th post. So what? It might not be special for you, but it is for me!

Well i had a dizziness out of nowhere while browsing through the books at Borders [Times Square]. Unwrapped books, wi-fied (curi line starbucks through my iPhone), not a lot of people there. What more can you ask for. It was a library. But as i was reading some sufi works by Rumi and Hafiz, i became dizzy, lost a lil balance and came back home. Now the headache persists.

Actually i've written more than that for the past hmm...10 months i guess. I had another 2 blogs, 'Between Faith and football' and a religion-themed (Islam to be precise) blog. Closed down both of them.

I kinda regret closing down faith and football, because i lost some stuff which i considered funny and honest. And i wrote that in bahasa Melayu which was kinda new to me.

Thought of closing this one down to a few months back, but a few friends asked me to keep on writing.

I was so flattered when i met a Malaysian student currently studying in Bandung. He told me he visited my blog for a number of times. He didn't praise my writings, but he mentioned that he recognized me by my name and the description i made of myself; i described myself as a handsome Japansese looking guy.

Hola! I do look Japanese! What a recognition!

I don't think i need a million people telling me to continue writing. A few people are enough to convince me to go on. But having a million people reading your blog would be wonderful. But for the writings to be benificial, i need to work harder.

I'm quite ambitious and demand a lot from myself when it comes to writing.

[ah poyola kau, ambitious kepala hangguk! perasan nak tulis novel, chapter 1 pon terbengkalai sudah]

A good writer knows his audience and decides on a suitable language level, tone of the writings (high or low, formal or informal). Then he or she needs to develop a style. To come out with an original transmitting voice. If the transmitter (the writer) becomes too artsy and ambiguous, then the receiver (the readers) won't be able to comprehend. (all these notes are from Reader's Digest 'How to Write and Speak Better')

Well, i've been trying to do such things. To write emotional stuff. And the only one i could come out with was the one about father's day. I thought that was a nice piece. Because i cried while i wrote it.

Does it signify that i need to cry more while i write?

But i'm not going to stop here, for complacency kills.

I don't know whether i will be able to continue writing later on in my life. But for now, i will still be churning out useless writings worth reading.

Thanks. I really appreciate your visiting my blog and wasting part of your lives reading it.

Robots.

2009-08-12T07:45:00.000-07:00

Will one day robots rule the world, when all humanity has lost its cause?

Will there be street demonstrations against robots, for robbing all the jobs from humans?

"Hapuskan robot-robot! Hidup Manusia!"

And the robots would chuckle,"we are not even alive!".

The factories will be loaded with robots, which in the future would come cheap. Their precision is undeniably sharp. Their discipline is infinite : no complains, no fuss. Just work 24/7. No more riots from workers demanding a pay rise.

And the Honda Asimo robot is able to move freely like a human being.

Will there be robodoctors and nurses?

But what if the 'circuits duplicate emotion'? Do they have to abide to Isaac Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics? Heck, do they even acknowledge Asimov in the first place?! Do they have the instincts to find out who created them, like human beings finding God?

[But there are too many atheists around]

What if they learn to have feelings, will there be intergalactic marriage between a human being and a robot?

And finally, if technology allows us to live forever by downloading all the memories and brain power into microchips as suggested by Dino Cazares the Fear factory guitarist (a industrial metal band), would you choose this option?

Having solid metal bodies and a work precision that beats a neurosurgeon. A computerised version of yourself.

I would still have to say, 'No'.

Foodtalk

2009-08-10T19:59:00.000-07:00

I usually try not to write about myself too much, because i do believe i lead an ultra-boring and mundane life. I've gone on to read blogs and marvel at the interesting lives of their writers, full of drama and emotions.

I am pretty much a very homely guy and i always wonder why people like to go out so much. The weather in the house is always nice. And at 11.09 AM, i am in still in my house rather than hanging out at shopping malls around KL.

What the heck. Well, now let's talk about food. You see how mundane i am? I am telling you what i'm gonna write about. Just like a Physics lesson when the teacher goes,

"Today, we are going to speak about Bernoulli's Principle and its application in modern day science."

Sigh. How formal that is!

My eldest sister has been lactose intolerant for quite some time.

After living for more than half of a century, only then, my mama decided to join the bandwagon and became lactose intolerant. She was able to take milk before, but now she would end up having bouts of diarrhea in the toilet. Not that it was an off/on switch, but that's genetics for you. Mendel and all that jazz (i've grown to like this phrase).

And as for me, i've joined the club a few months back when i had to travel back and forth to the toilet after taking a bottle of milk. After a few more experimentation and inquiries to family members, i finally realized i also had an intolerance towards milk but my switch is turned off at the age of 23. I used to gulp litres and litres of HL chocolate milk, but now i can't quite do so. It starts to rumble and mumble and growl after awhile.

All 3 of us also respond negatively to the intake of yellow mee/noodles with trips to the toilet. This maybe due to the boric acid produced while boiling the noodles.

But one thing about my family is that we are not really adventurous in the food universe, that is to say,we rarely try out new foods/cuisines. All four of us (mama, my 2 sisters and me).

My sister Aiza would usually choose 'Tom Yam'.
My mama, Meehoon Soup.
My sister Azreen, i think is by far the most adventurous in this field between the four of us and she tends to be quite unpredictable and takes her time to read menus.
Me, anything which i have tried before in my life.

So as a result, when someone invites me for a dine-out and asks for suggestions, a typical answer you could expect is,

"Aku tak kesah (I don't mind)." I do mean it. Like i am being 110% honest when i say this.

Like if you're going to try something new, something that sounds sophisticated and suddenly you get the opposite, your hopes of having a good meal fall down to pieces (Kabooosh!) and all you get is merely a false satisfaction of satiety. Perhaps, i am not a risk taker with foods.

But then again, who am i to complain? My taste buds or the part of brain which recognizes tastes are not working. So all i get is purely a sense of satiety. The only thing my brain really recognizes is the chilli flavour. That hot and spicy taste is really meaningful as it is the only food i could really appreciate.

Therefore, i don't think i could really turn out to be an excellent cook. Good? Yes. Excellent? Maybe. Anything is possible, just that i am lazy to learn to cook all those extravagant meals.

But with food, it's not just purely satisfaction of it all. We eat accordingly, appropriately.

As narrated by Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "The food for two persons is sufficient for three, and the food of three persons is sufficient for four persons." (Sahih Bukhari)

And in another hadeeth,

Narrated by Abu Huraira: A man used to eat much, but when he embraced Islam, he started eating less. That was mentioned to the Prophet who then said, "A believer eats in one intestine (is satisfied with a little food)...." ( Sahih Bukhari)

And so, there had been dietary laws which were mentioned by the Prophet, but we tend to cross the line and eat til we are superbly full. Phew. "I mean, of course we have to try and eat as much as possible right why we are still alive. We need that extra energy to sleep. Sleeping also needs energy. I read that in some book".

But of course, there is a difference between eating a lot and trying out new food. While i applaud the latter effort, as it actively invovles the mind (sweet, sour, too much salt, suggestions to make the food better), i myself am struggling with the former. I do exceed my own expectations when i eat. Bear in my mind what was mentioned in the Quran.

7 : 31 O Children of Adam! wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer: eat and drink: But waste not by excess, for Allah loveth not the wasters.

And so, i wish i could be more health savvy and eat more natural than aritificial food, peel the skin off any piece of chicken (exception for KFC, for it would be a waste of money not to eat KFC skin), take less oily food and munch more vegetables and fruits. Maybe i should find out alternative recipes as i find Malay recipes to be too unhealthy at times.

What? Health savvy? That's far off the radar.

Let's go eat KFC.

nice

2009-08-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

Now when i feel down i think of Nick Vujicic and be thankful for whatever i have.

God's miracles are unlimited. And his ability to keep on living and be happy and content is just wonderful.

It gives a good motivation for life.

Dynamics of Writing

2009-08-08T18:17:00.000-07:00

Now my holidays have officially started, meaning i've got nothing much important on my calender, except for a few meetings with friends, old acquaintances.

Will probably read a few novels and to study them thoroughly to understand the dynamics of their writings and creativity.

Like i always say, "you've got to start somewhere". The oft-repeated phrase of mine.

A dose of Mikhail Bulgakov. Few tablespoons of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. Dozens of Don DeLillo. A pinch of Chuck Palahniuk. Kurt Vonnegut. Maybe a few drops of Murakami.

Dan mungkin, jika berkesempatan, "Tenggelamnya Kapal van Der Wijck" oleh HAMKA.

I really enjoyed Haruki Murakami's short story, "On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning."

I will be guided by "how to write and speak better" by Reader's Digest.

And i'm trying to learn Arabic slowly. It's chronically slower than a tortoise with 2 fractured legs.

[Insert my favourite quote here]

Thought of going to Kelantan, but as usual, time is of the essence here, and in this moment, time is envious of me.

Now. Hopefully i will fare better with my self working hours. More discipline.

I used to be associated with that word. But i would love to be associated with much more meaningul words.

Like, "handsome". Or "Good looking".

Ok now. Start.

The Repellent Sessions

2009-08-07T09:16:00.000-07:00

And so there i was, with a mosquito repellent in my room by the side of my bed and a source of pendaflour light above my head. Another night, another repellent burns. The exquisite smell expelled reminded me of ancient times, an ancient remedy to ward off ghosts, who were actually mosquitoes siphoning blood out of human veins, and flying off drunk.

The repellent gave quite a stingy taste to the nose, but i am used to smoke, as i was a passive smoker in a previous life.

The hut i was living in was asthenic in nature, like a frail, thin man showing off his skeletal anatomy. The exoskeleton of the house bore naked, the basis of which looked pretty fragile to any storm. The house could have probably flown to Pattaya if a heavy storm was to hit Perlis. And the veins and nerves were visible in the form of electrical wiring and piping seen across the house.

I hung my shirts, pants, towel and t-shirts on the nails implanted to the walls of the room.

To the corners of the cochlear, the sound transmitted was a mixture of chitchats from the TV set, frogs croaking and ribbitting(ribbit.ribbit), geeses quacking, buzzes of flaps from a mosquito, lizards strutting their own sounds and all that jazz. Minus the TV set, it would have been a symphony of nature, an orchestra of some sort. Maybe jazz, Coltrane, Miles Davis but not Kenny G.

On the second night i met a spider who was as big as a racoon, baby racoon. Being arachnophobic, i almost panicked but kept cool and as i was reading the last few chapters of Reza Aslan's No God but God, i remembered of the chpater al-Ankabut from the Quran, which means 'The Spider'.

29 : 41 The likeness of those who take (false deities as) Auliya' (protectors, helpers) other than Allah is the likeness of a spider who builds (for itself) a house; but verily, the frailest (weakest) of houses is the spider's house - if they but knew.

I stood there and watched as the spider clumsily wandered off in between the wooden walls.

I was there for my practicals and in 12 months time, God willingly, insya Allah i will be starting work. There's still this love/hate relationship that i have with the profession that deals with life/death. I love to help save the day and make people's lives much happier by helping them to gain better health, but at the same time i'm scared of the possibilities of being responsible for one's death.

10 : 56 It is He Who gives life, and causes death, and to Him you (all) shall return.

And there in the hospital, i saw my first ever death in front of my very eyes. The patient should have been defibrillated but due to his wife's decision not to allow the procedure as it would 'hurt the soul/body,' of his husband, all the doctors were able to do was to resuscitate him to death. And so, the tears started flowing like a monsooned river coming down from a cliff. Well, not really.

But i was asking myself, IF i was in that position, should i go on defibrillating without the wife's consent and tell her, "it's my job" or just let it all go that way. Let fate decide. I am still pondering the borders between fate, mistakes and choices that we make. You could easily say it was fate, but at times you might start to think it was your mistakes that led to the consequences.

The greatest skill to obtain is to brush aside the dejection of death. That sheer downward spiral especially if it was due to your mistakes. I wonder whether i could handle it.

46 : 15 And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship. And she brings him forth with hardship, and the bearing of him...

Besides that, i witnessed the miracle of birth. No wonder the dignity of a mother is 3 times more than a father, according to the Prophet. Childbirth is a strenuous and painful process, one of the things i would never experience unless i decide to have a full blown sex changing operation in the future. But then again, i saw an intrauterine death with macerated skin, the skin peeling off and exposing some flesh of the insides and a miscarriage of about 21 weeks.

There's still a long way to go in life and i'm at the starting point and raring to go. But some things have opened my eyes and made me realize how lucky i am, again and again..

And as the final dusts of the repellent settle down, i finally left Perlis with a hatful of memories to treasure.

PS : Rainy season's here in Alor Setar.. 2 : 164 Verily! In the creation of the heavens and the earth, and in the alternation of night and day, and the ships which sail through the sea with that which is of use to mankind, and the water (rain) which Allah sends down from the sky and makes the earth alive therewith after its death, and the moving (living) creatures of all kinds that He has scattered therein, and in the veering of winds and clouds which are held between the sky and the earth, are indeed Ayat (proofs, evidence, signs, etc.) for people of understanding.

Marwa

2009-07-24T10:04:00.000-07:00

The unforgiving heat of summer took its toll on me. There were patches of dark purple here and there on my shirt, a slightly darker than tone the shirt colour due to the excessive sweating i was undergoing. Yes. I run high on metabolism and am proud of it. Maybe i should have been born in Alaska, but that would be too cold. Then i thought of the knitted blanket supplied in our rented house.

"Just in case it snows in the sacred city of Kangar since the weather is extreme," a soliloquy that was rather imaginary.

My body, soiled of stench, with a pinch of salt odour.

A visit to the wi-fied Kangar Hospital library cured the heat off my body and i wandered through the pages of New Straits Times. 2 weeks ago, this was and i came to an article of the death of Marwa El-Sherbini.

Stabbed 18 times in a court trial by a German of Russian descent who had verbally abused her a year ago. The drama was complicated when the police who entered the frame, mistook her husband,who was trying to save her, as the assailant and fired few shots at him.

It's like a scene from a Hollywood production. Something predictable, something stereotype. Arabs are always the culprits. Muslims maybe.

Islamophobia is a grave problem which needs addressing since it is misunderstood by non Muslims generally.

It's the same thing going on even in football. The chants of "Mido's got a bomb," were directed to the Egyptian footballer while he was playing in St. James' Park in Newcastle. Maybe these were meaningless shouts and screams, but the underlying problem may be much deeper than what we think it is.

As Chandra Muzaffar mentioned in his article in the NST, there is some level of biased-ness and onesided-ness of media reports which tend to dominate headlines. And they are not friendly enough towards Islam and Muslims. Muslims will always be portrayed as terrorists, suicide bombers and everything else.

While journalism is one thing, the readers' point of view is the conclusion to it all. The superficiality of people these days have made it much more difficult to explain everything. Most people take the newspaper reports as the final say, and fail to dig slightly deeper to find out the history of a conflict involving Muslims.

But we should not view the media as an enemy. The recent bombings of Palestine at the beginning of the year were wildly protested even by non Muslims because they are getting bored and tired of the mainstream media and have read, watched or listened with full blown attention to the real sources of news. Now, some have accepted that the Zionist Israel nation is at fault for the on going conflict.

Racial hatred and religious bigotry have become staple in the society. Even by Muslims. How most of us would label all Jews as being Zionists, and some would look down upon others who have different school of thoughts, telling others that "we are right, you are wrong". All these are stereotypes, the same mechanism that categorized all Arabs and Muslims as being terrorists. If even our minds are controlled by these stereotypical labels, then we should not be complaining of their bigotry as this would be called as hypocrisy.

There were even some unfriendly remarks made towards Germans, which were unfair since he was a German of Russian Descent.

Then should we also consider Russians as evil or half evil?

We need to break free from these stereotypes.

At the end of the day, we should take a long look into the mirror and change ourselves for the better. By saying "you belong to hell, Muslims go to heaven", won't help a bit. We have to understand that the Prophet had said those words after he had preached about Islam to the inhabitants of Arabia. Only after they had denied Islam, then only revelations were sent down, with a much sterner warning of the punishment in the hereafter.

In other words, to mention such things to people who have zero or very limited information about Islam is like rubbing salt to the wound. Da'wah should be done in a more holistic approach involving our daily conducts and behaviours.

May Allah bless her soul.

Heaven or Hell.

2009-07-11T05:29:00.000-07:00

I am closer to hell than to heaven. I've done my reality checks and seems that is the current conclusion i could make. Maybe you are too.

You see. I'm pretty direct with myself. I'm my life's biggest critic. Except i don't respond that much to my self criticisms.

Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: When Allah created Paradise, He said to Gabriel: Go and look at it. He went and looked at it, then came and said: O my Lord! By Thy might, no one who hears of it will fail to enter it. He then surrounded it with disagreeable things, and said: Go and look at it, Gabriel. He went and looked at it, then came and said: O my Lord! By Thy might, I am afraid that no one will enter it. When Allah created Hell, He said: Go and look at it, Gabriel. He went and looked at it, then came and said: O my Lord! By Thy might, no one who hears of it will enter it. He then surrounded it with desirable things and said: Go and look at it, Gabriel. He went, looked at it, then came and said: O my Lord! By Thy might and power, I am afraid that no one will remain who does not enter it.

I posed this question to my naqib when i was in an usrah.

"Could we use the motivation of heaven in order to become more pious?"

He answered "Yes", because it's hard to just worship Allah without a motivation.

I recalculated the question at intervals of my life, year after year. And i soon realized, "yeah, there might be truth in that."

But is heaven what we are really aiming for? Looking back through the pages of al-Quran, there are verses which describe to us of the environment of the heaven, example in al-Waqiah (The event, the inevitable).

Round about them shall go youths never altering in age, With goblets and ewers and a cup of pure drink; They shall not be affected with headache thereby, nor shall they get exhausted, And fruits such as they choose, And the flesh of fowl such as they desire. And pure, beautiful ones, The like of the hidden pearls: A reward for what they used to do. (verses 17-24)

Well, heaven, as some say, is unimaginable. But through these verses, we could partially imagine or conjure up an image.

But i asked myself, "am i worshipping Allah for heaven?". It's like i'm expecting something in return for a good deed.

Actually, i keep trying to find a pure heart. A heart that sees the world as Allah's creation. In the food i eat. The molecules of oxygen which i breath. For the great people around me.

That pure sincerity is hard to find. You could find tales of the Prophet, waking up in the early hours of morning to pray. For someone who was guaranteed heaven, what else woke him up, but the purity of humbleness towards The Creator.

But it works the other way around too, i guess. I am sure there was a reason on the description of paradise in the Quran. I asked a friend and he made a simple analogy. It's like when we were small and how our parents used to give us tokens if we are able to fast half a day or a full day. Later on in our lives, we do realize the importance and benefits of fasting.

So, probably we can't find that sincerity early on but for the motivation of heaven. But slowly, maybe our hearts will change for the better and worship Allah not because of his promises of paradise, but because of the life and the blessings He has given to us.

In other words, because there is No God but God. That's why we are worshipping Him.

14 : 34 And He gave you of all that you asked for, and if you count the Blessings of Allah, never will you be able to count them.....

transformering

2009-06-27T23:43:00.000-07:00

The title, may just be a little bit confusing to you since it's similar to a movie screening at the cinemas in your neighbourhood. But this is not a story of giant robots transformering into vehicles, nor is it a story about transformering myself into an angelic version of a human being.

Yesterday, my mama sms-ed me telling me that we could get a transformers figure, an optimus prime perhaps for a cheaper price at a petronas petrol station if we fill the car with RM30 worth of oil or above.

And so, i remembered a tale of a boy, a plump boy who thought the world was all about toys. A pampered boy that he was, he had a multitude of toys in his possession, a true obsession on his part.

One day, a chocolate drink made an offer he wasn't able to refuse. A gift of a robot for the purchase of the largest tin can of chocolate powder. A staunch fan of Milo, he was crossing over to the rival brand Vico just this once time, for the sake of some infamous robots. Oh how poisoned he was by the commercials in between those cartoon shows!

And so, the family bought a large tin, and as promised, he got himself a robot toy as a gift. After some time spent on assembling the purple-white robot, and liking the plastic figure in front of him, he wanted more. Possessed by the spirit of that toy, an idea of collecting all 3 robot models that were at stake appeared. And all of them were gifts, so there was no way he could have asked his mummy to buy them.

He pondered. He thought. He spent hours for ideas to conjure up. He needed to think fast since the offer was going to expire soon enough. He can't possibly finish them all too quick. Besides, Vico tasted less tasty than Milo. That's a fact. He can't throw the tin away, for there might me an odour of foul play ringing in the air. To bribe his grandmother to keep a secret would not only be a sin, but the plan itself would come to ruins if his grandma decided to tell his mother.

He needed help. He needed a companion in crime who couldn't talk. A silent partner. And after looking around the house, he finally found out that the sink and the drainage PVC pipes were not able to produce even a whisper of voice.

"Hey you Mr. Sinky. Could you help me keep a secret." A silent answer meant 'yes'.

The boy, with punkish traits of his, decided to feed the sink with spoons of chocolate powder and ran the water down in order for the tin to be emptied at a quicker rate. He acted as cool as ice, and whenever her grandma smelled something mischievious going on, he would greet his grandma to quell off the thoughts of foul play in her mind.

"Yo granny, wassup? I'm 'cleaning' the kitchen for you."

While there he was, greedily feeding the sink without any feeling of wrongdoings! After some time, the large tin was almost empty.

Without any hesitation, he asked his mum to buy Vico, a large one too. His plan, was almost close to perfection and his brain was smiling from ear to ear, thinking that he was a genius. But his face remained calm, his hidden agendas were protected by his chubby and innocent appearance.

But her mum knew too much. The pipes were somehow clogged up due to some unknown reasons. Baffled by the situation, her mum called for a plumber and after some diagnostics, the plumber concured that the pipes were clogged at the proximal part, the ones that were close to the sink.

And after some intriguing FBI like investigations, the boy finally gave in and admitted his crime to his mother.

"No more vico for you."

Her mum managed to save some RM from buying a large tin of Vico, while the boy sat quietly in his room, pondering what could have been a second robot gift from Vico. He thought that powder would be dissolved by water, but he was wrong. Maybe he was right, but maybe he fed the sink too fast, thus not allowing the powder to dissolve. But after the incident, he had grown all matured and decided to abandon his life with toys.

And the rest, as they say, is history. And he lived happily ever after.

PS : And now, i need to transform myself into a book reading form.

Facebooked part 2

2009-06-27T23:25:00.001-07:00

It's amazing what technology could do these days.

It's been quite awhile since i last met my friends from primary and lower secondary schools. I do wonder would people still remember me since i've morphed from a cute looking child into a princely handsome young guy.

So yesterday i spent hours and hours adding people, friends, pals, old acquaintances, colleagues of long gone years. It was a stroll down memory lane.

One of my best Chinese friends is still a Liverpool fan that he was when i last met him. He's still as smart as i used to know him. We share the same birth date and he was guessing the time i was born!

Another is an Indian guy who is probably the biggest Michael Jackson fan i will ever know. He kept doing all those crotch grabbing, moon walking moves, impersonating the King of Pop to entertain us at school and he wasn't bad at all.

And there are close friends from Alor Star who still remain as wacky as ever before.

I was very glad to see friends who are holding posts in various clubs and societies. Some continue their traditions of becoming student leaders, some gaining new experiences of taking this kind of responsibility for the first time in their lives. While i've probably taken a detour from that kinda of life.

To reconcile friendships and to strengthen them, that's what i am there for.

It's great what technology could do these days.

facebooked

2009-06-27T04:37:00.000-07:00

I am facebooking. I facebook everyday. I facebooked last night. I've been facebooked.

He/She is facebooking. He/She facebooks everyday. He/She facebooked last night. He/She has been facebooked

They/You are facebooking. They facebook everyday. They facebooked last night. They/You have been facebooked.

Some collected quotes from Afiq Fikri Azmi.

"Aku taknak la bukak facebook, takut addicted."

"Facebook? I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon."

"Is that a friendster wannabe?"

Yeah yeah. You've got all the right to call me a sell out for surrendering my soul to the opium of the people, facebook.

I just need to connect to long lost friends. Some who i haven't met for years and years.

I've been warned by Kamal (single according to his facebook status..bwahaha) of the times i might waste on facebook. Thanks for the advice.

But i don't think i will be answering quizzes or playing games. For once, i don't like computer games. I think i will be busy replying comments. That's all.

And i plan to switch off all the email notifications so that i won't be too busy checking this and that. Except for birthday notifications.

But this blog is my abode. My sanctuary. There's no way i'm going to abandon this blog. Here's a big hug and kiss to this blog XOXOXOXOX. Whatever that is.

There are many things i plan to write about. Particularly about Malaysia. About spots in KL. About Central Market. Of Lorong Haji Taib. Kampung Baru. These cult images of KL. Right after my practicals i'll be staying in KL for some time. Maybe i'll write poetry of those places if my muses arrive. You know, something like Paris je'taime in written form. Maybe i'll pick up a decent camera to enhance the experience of reading with a visual accompaniment. Or maybe i'll hag my sister's camera and learn to edit pictures. So if you see me wandering off in KL, say hi and give me a treat at a mamak restaurant.

But before that, I need to read. I'm going to read lotsa stuff after my exams. I've been surprisingly lucky with my exams. Alhamdulillah.

I would like to thank my sponsors, Sayani-the energy booster and Sport Kanal-official live football provider for room 92.

Death and its glorification

2009-06-26T00:54:00.000-07:00

And so the King of Pop is dead.

He was about to kick start his world tour, touted to gross about $50 million bucks for Jacko. When fate intervenes, you have no answer. When death arrives, there is no more asking for another day.

And Utusan Malaysia's terkini section is filled with the latest news of his death. One by one. Quotes, latest developments, mourning of fans and peers alike.

Probably they're gonna make a special edition newspaper or a 16 page spread about MJ.

Of course, the death of Syd Barrett, Joey and Johnny Ramone won't be that sensational because they were peripherals playing in some lesser known bands. And their deaths were of natural causes-cancer.

When Kurt Cobain decided to kick the bucket, that was sensational since he suicided himself.

And thus, he was glorified like a prophet in the media. Like a matyr. He was placed in the top 10 amongst the most skilled guitarists of all time although he had moderate guitar skills.

But did they highlight some other heroes of our time? The real ones.

Fathi Yakan, author of some great books passed away on the 13th of June. I just found that out. Did Utusan put it up? I missed it maybe.

"It's death whether by killing or by cancer; it's the same thing. Nothing will change if it's an Apache (helicopter) or cardiac arrest. But I prefer to be killed by Apache."

In the end, Dr. Abdel Aziz al-Rantissi got what he wished for. He was killed by an apache.

They don't ask or wish to be glorified. But these men have done more than meets the eye. But have their contributions been justified? Are there articles on mainstream media?

Sometimes you need to put more perspective with things that happen around you. I need to do it too. Because i'm too much attached to my rock and roll roots and i'd be more interested in the news of the death of some rock stars.

I'm sleepy. Need to go to mosque. Then off to my seniors' graduation.

So 90s : mIRC chatting

2009-06-24T06:30:00.000-07:00

It became clear that the world was minimizing into the size of the thumb by the end of the 20^th century. Yes, the mundane life that we were accustomed to was about to change, although the arrival was a little late to the shores of Malaysia.

And RTM kept on playing that IT song over and over again. It was a good idea but it was oh-so-uninspiring to say the least.

The world of communications transformed itself into a borderless version of connectivity across the universe. Because I personally believe we are the only living beings and the whole idea of alien worshipping just doesn’t apply to me.

The advent of chatting, particularly, changed and challenged the whole concept of what socialization is all about.

Back in the 90’s and the early millennia, mIRC was the in thing back then. It still does exist but messengers are the in thing lately.

A/S/L was the intro to everything. Age. Sex. Location. With one simple inquiry it could spark off a conversation, start relationships, foster friendship, so on and so forth.

SgtWeener: Yo. Asl

Guest2435: 16/m/us.u?

SgtWeener: 15/m/Malaysia.

Guest2435: Malaysia? Wer izzit? Do u hav intrnet over der?

It was where I started to speak to people from the States and Australia to improve my English. We chatted particularly about music those days because I hanged out in chat music chat rooms.

It had quite a good peer to peer connection in which you could download songs or videos from other users.

And I just found out that you could even chat while facebooking. I think facebook has taken the formula of the inventions of handphones. It used to be simple, now cellphones are multifunctional. It’s like an amusement park. You’ve got a camera, internet connection, games and a lot more. Facebook has quizzes, you could leave comments, post videos and chatting. So basically, you only need to log on to facebook for anything.

Last night, I had a dream in which I had a facebook account. It was semi-scary in a way.

Me and a few genius friends even had a social study on the impact of chatting in my secondary school days. That was a bit funny. We took a 360 turn after our first project, (something about producing an alternative for petroleum from the remains of processed palm) backfired. But we had the coolest team name. Fungus amongus.

So chatting has deluded me of the fact that we actually need to talk in reality, not type.

I think there are pieces of bipolarity in me. In a face to face chat, I think I’m just a bit over concerned with my appearance (Why is this bloke so untidy? He needs to shave. His hairstyle is way off the mark!). And my perhaps my voice. (Too husky. Too sexy. Too angelic). So I tend to be a little bit silent compared to cyberspace chatting.

Chatting just strips the aesthetics of my over concerned appearance and I could just go on rambling about anything and I could just chat about everything. And I could just focus solely on chatting without anything else.

Maybe it’s time for me to really focus on talking since my future profession involves talking most of the time. Talk to patients. Explain this and that so that they would understand. Report to senior doctors and everything else.

Maybe I should go video blogging to practice my talking and story telling abilities. It would be good to doze people off.

Ok. Need to read my Sherlock Holmes collection on my iPhone.

PS : We have entered the month of Rejab. The most significant event in history of this month is the Israk and Mikraj, of which our Prophet ascended to the heavens and met Allah. Some say it was a spiritual journey, but most scholars would agree that it was a physical journey. Of course, we have to ponder what could have been. We could have been asked to pray 50 times per day but in the end we have been given a large discount by Allah and henceforth, we are only obliged to pray 5 times a day.

Clothes.

2009-06-24T04:10:00.000-07:00

There are some people on the 6th floor collecting shirts and stuffs for the homeless and orphans. It was not a charitable act, but i was in the mood to clear off my wardrobe, especially since i've grown..ehem..a bit muscular for the past few years which in turn, disabled me from wearing some shirts.And it turned out there were many shirts which were worn sparingly or have been there as artifacts in my cupboard. So i proceeded to just give them away.

This is one of my Nike t-shirts which is still in good condition but a bit too tight for me. I used to wear when i was super slim. PPIM/UMNO had a good programme in which they collected clothes and sold them at a carboot like sale and used the profits to manage their activities. I don't think anyone would want to buy my t-shirts so i decided not to sell them.

And this, i have to say is one of my all time favourite t-shirts bought at Pertama Complex. I like to go there just to find some good rocking t-shirts. Plus, there's a big Reject Shop there and the F.O.S. at Maju Junction right next to Pertama. I basically do my shopping at that F.O.S. outlet since it's not packed and i could just spend a lot of time looking for a decent shirt at a decent price. It's basically still in good condition, but i've got loads more shirts. Thanks for the service. You've tasted my sweat more than any other t-shirts for the past 5 years.

And i found this track suit, purple in colour while i was ransacking my wardrobe. It's my mum's track suit and she gave it to me because i forgot to buy one. Now it's torn somewhere in the middle and the ankle zip area. I can't believe i played the football tourney in this pair of tracksuit. Now it seems i would shy away from wearing a purple coloured track suit.

Minimalist you, minimalist me.

2009-06-23T00:14:00.000-07:00

My roommates are having an exam right now. I had it yesterday. And so yesterday they asked me,

"Could you cook nasi ayam for us, we are having an exam tomorrow."

I said OK, I said fine. And I cooked. And I just finished the last piece of the leftover chicken for breakfast. With a bottle of sayani and a bowl of soup.

I'm not expecting anything from them in return, but they asked me anyway.

"So what do you want us to cook for you on Thursday." (Surgery is on Friday)

"Fried eggs. With any kind of gravy, as long as it's red."

And they choked on that idea.

I know i'm such a boring dude when it comes to food. I could go on eating the same stuff over and over again.

But is asking for telor goreng masak merah too much?

Russian treasures : Sayani

2009-06-22T23:30:00.000-07:00

The army of molotov cocktails.

A bottle bearing a picture of father deer and daughter doe won't be harmful, would it?

Sayani : The thirst quencher.

And the boiling heat of summer continues, while we patiently wait for the first downpour of rain.

And we guzzle this fizzy drink down our throats to quench our thirst. This bottled drink is similar to any soft drinks out there, but it's local. It tastes something like mountain dew and it contains no alcohol. Now that we don't drink Coke that often, this is the alternative.

The bottles evoke the images of Molotov cocktails, named after the Foreign Affairs' Minister of the Soviet Union during the WWII, Vyacheslav Molotov.

During the attacks of Russia on Finland, they dropped bombs containing smaller clusters of explosives in them. However, the quirky Mr. Molotov made an announcement, claiming that they were dropping food instead of explosives from the air to the Finns.

Of course that was a big lie, and so they christened the bombing as the "Molotov Bread Breakfast", with an explosive menu.

The Finns responded by attacking the tanks that were invading Finland with these home-made explosives made out of bottles containing petrol or other inflammable liquids and a cloth jammed at the end to ignite it.

And they named it "Molotov Cocktails", as a drink to go with the food.

That, for you, is the linguistics of war.

Ok. I want to finish my bottle of Sayani for breakfast.

Father's Day

2009-06-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

Growing up fatherless, there are only vague and hazy images of how me dad was. Not his appearance, as I have countless of pictures of him. He remains the only guy who looks much more handsome than what i could possibly be. But memories of him are practically non existent. He passed away when I was barely a year and a few months old and all I have are just verbal whispers about me dad.

One of the items left at home is a season pass to the Kedah football stadium, as he was the physio for the team. Hence, as if genetically inscribed in my DNA, I do harbour the intentions of one day becoming the physio of the team. At least I could get free entrance to watch football games at the legendary football stadium. And who knows I might end up coaching? Hey, Jose Mourinho started off as a translator for Bobby Robson. You've got to start somewhere.

It's funny how people would rub me head when I was younger. Later on, I discovered that it was sort of a custom to perform such gesture to orphans.

Before I came to Russia, a doctor who conducted one of the check ups happened to be his friend. And so he told me, that usually, he and some other friends would take the ride together with me dad to get back to Alor Star from Sik (a couple of hours' journey) on me dad's Honda Accord, but on that fateful day, they had some other things to do and me dad drove back alone. The news of the accident came out in the newspaper and some of my friends' parents at primary school knew about it when i mentioned it to them.

And as a result, I never had the chance to feel the warmth of a father's hug or the satisfaction of a daddy's praise. But it's not that I'm complaining too much. Content is a virtue.

There are unluckier children who are born bastards. Not in a derogatory sense. Some not even knowing or will never even find out who their parents are, which is far more extreme than what I experienced. While there are others who were brought up in broken homes, witnessing the progress of bitter divorces of their parents.

I've been been compensated with the greatest woman who brought me up, the bionic woman, me Mama. Such a lucky guy, I am.

Now that I am thickened with maturity (I think so), I understand that it's something called fate. The river of life has taken its due course. My life could have taken a different route if me dad was still here.

Butterfly effect, ya dig it?

I bet all dads out there give their best efforts for their families, to get some food on the plates although they might not be as cool as you want them to be, or they might not spend so much time with you. So treasure your dads, give your old man a big hug or share a joke.

Happy father's day.

PS : Headache o headache, please go away.

Random thoughts

2009-06-14T02:09:00.000-07:00

1. Could we consider those who hate black cats as having traits of racism? Maybe partially racists, they are?

2. If we label a certain portion of people with certain tags, example 'Kedahans are kiasu' or 'Perakians and Penangites are perverts', is that too, considered as a mild form of racism?

3. If PAS ever unites with UMNO, what will Malaysia be like? Will the other races form their own racial political conglomerates? UMNO now is at a weakened state. So if one day UMNO reaches the same zenith of politics again, gaining maximal power along the way, will they kick PAS out of their supposed coalition?(if they were ever to unite that is)

4. On another note, i find myself not as creative as i want myself to be. While people would usually create their own pnemonics, i prefer to google for them.

5. I found out what twitter is all about few days ago. Maybe these are the type of stuff i would write if i have a twitter account.

6. At the age of 23, i found out that if baju melayu is soaked too long in water, the color will come off. As i was smart enough to soak my kepiah together with my red baju melayu, now the kepiah has become a bit pinkish tinged. Is this the shape of fashion to come?

Hot and humid

2009-06-11T15:26:00.000-07:00

This is my first post from my iphone and the mega tiny touchscreen keypad doesn't help much.

At 2.29 in the morning, my skin wets of salty sweat. Drops running down my forehead, maybe el nino is hitting Russia too. My head is densed partly with medical knowledge, mostly with crap.

That tachycardic heartbeat after reading Cristiano's transfer to Real Madrid has long gone. 80 million pounds for a player is really breathtaking.

And insulting at the same time. It's a cruel world we are living in.

And i pondered for a moment what could i have done with that amount of money.

The disneyfication of Real Madrid continues.

Kaka is mickey mouse. Cristiano is minnie mouse. Soon David Villa will be daffy duck.

Where does that money come from?

Loyalty in football is the least of priorities these days. It's manifested with people prowling for money. No more Giggs or Del Piero. Extinction of the generation.

Money is in fact, the new God. Slaves to the material world, are we?

God save us all.

Dawud Wharnsby Ali sings good nasyeed

2009-06-08T05:27:00.000-07:00

I'm very picky when it comes to music. To be dead honest with you, i don't listen to nasyeed except for Raihan's music because they are the pioneers to the nasyeed scene in Malaysia. They're like Helmet who kick started the nu-metal birth, like Black Sabbath to the metal world, Kraftwerk to techno music. Well, that's strictly from a musical perspective.

And so i discovered something good a few months back from Dawud Wharnsby Ali. The song above just makes me want to strum the acoustic guitar yet again. It's a nice song with meaningful lyrics which makes it much more meaningful although some might condone the usage of guitars or stringed instruments in nasyeed. Another song at the moment which makes me want to pick up the guitar is 'The times they are a'changin' by Bob Dylan, the anthem for the 60s hippie era.

Another good song by this guy is The Prophet and my other favourite is Zain Bikha's Heart of a Muslim . Not that i dislike Malay nasyid, just that most other nasyeed are rip off rhythms from Raihan with different lyrics. To quote from Rob Zombie about Black Sabbath's reign as metal pioneers, "Every cool riff has already been written by Black Sabbath, anything anyone else does is basically ripping it off, either playing it slightly backwards or forwards, faster or slower, they did everything already." I could say the same thing of Raihan but of course, i do fully comprehend and aware that nasyeed is all about the message and the music is a mere secondary in stature. But then again, like i said, i'm mega picky in music and i prefer reading religious articles or listening to lectures/sermons.

And i questioned the real purpose of the nasyid bands after Raihan. Their intentions. Well, maybe that's just me and my underground philosophy. But then again, the rapid births of nasyid bands were for me just a tool to get money. What's the difference of the pop punk bands that appeared after Offspring or Green Day, or the bands that immitate Eddie Vedder's voice or the nu-metal explosion after Korn and Limp Bizkit? They were all tools to get money. The same cycle of things. Music pioneers get famous. Recording companies try to find the next thing closest to the original band. Gets money. Becomes rich. It's the same viscious cycle for one thing. Money. Well, that's my view of things. Some bands really sold out.

And so i came about this article a few months back about the stance of some scholars regarding music. The article punches me directly to my face, a total KO. This is strictly personal through self experience. From the article, "His state of emotions becomes less passionate when he hears the Qur'aan........He dislikes listening to the Qur'aan and does not find beauty in it while reciting it..." And this really happened to me. Again, to be dead honest with you, I would be high listening to Bob Dylan or say, the Beatles. But listening to Quran won't evoke such responses from me. It might be partly due to the fact i can't grasp Arabic, but then again i would still be high listening to some instrumental songs by Explosions in the Sky.

For some people who could manage to control themselves without getting too much engaged into the songs either musically or lyrically, maybe it's ok to listen to some songs. But i'm a music geek and the way i listened and am listening to music is way too obsessive, too enticing to the point of controlling my conscious (believe me when i say this). It makes the songs stuck into my head for a very very long time. Which i think is not that good to say the least.

And so i'm having my serampang dua mata project. First i want to reduce my time listening to too much music. Secondly i want to try and understand bits of the Quran through the learning of basic Arabic. I found this good dictionary which i hope may help you and me to understand the Quran better. I found out that there are 569 words which are repeated over and over again in the Quran which makes up about 80 % of the revelation.

54 : 17 And certainly We have made the Quran easy for remembrance, but is there anyone who will mind?

Hopefully it won't turn out to be one of those failed projects of mine.LOL.

Temptations, temptations

2009-06-07T06:27:00.000-07:00

I asked for an ampoule of Sol. Confidencium 100 % from Azizi but he declined my request. Now i need to try and search it myself. My exams are around the corner.

TV will be showing the Roland Garros final. Federer vs Soderling. Afiq, are you sure you're gonna switch me off?

I need 132 Newtons of force to push me to study. I need 5 kilograms of confidence. Where could i find them?

Football is on Wednesday. You would not want to miss it! It's Russia vs Finland.

Give me an ounce of hardwork and a pascal of persistence and i'll be as busy as a bee.

If that's not enough, there's the NBA finals. Lakers vs Magics. Howard against Kobe. You're not gonna miss watching your favourite player Pau Gasol playing, are you?

But i've poisoned myself with 25 litres of laziness.

Hey look at me! Jenson Button just won the race in Turkey. These are the moments you wanted all the while right? These great sporting moments.

I need to detoxify myself with decibels of discipline and pack myself with 70 volts of seriousness and start to study tonight!

You're still bidding for that Real Madrid jersey on eBay right?

Temptations, temptations.

Covering my eyes from the sinful sight of the surrounding of summer

2009-06-07T05:35:00.000-07:00

Summer's back and the birds return from their long migration cum vacation. Chirping, maybe chatting between them in language inconceivable by human understanding.

Tweet. Tweeeeet. Twititit. Titititutu Kenya. Twaeeaet! Translates as, "I went to Africa! OMG! It's owh so fabulous. You have to go to Kenya. It's heaven!"

And the other bird replies. Twat! Tetetetoto. Titititutu USA. Twiiiituituo. Vultures tototo. Eagles tweiaot!

"What! That's cool! I went to USA. It's you know, very metropolitan. I met your cousin the Vulture. Almost got bitten by an eagle!"

And as i wonder what the birds chatter amongst themselves, in that funny language of theirs, there's a much more problematic situation going on. The preying eyes of men, with their radars swithced on are dangerous when the summer arrives.

It's hot, so people wear less. Oh! Cover my eyes! Cover my eyes!

24 : 30 Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty...

The eyes perform adultery by gazing.

"...the adultery of eyes is looking (at [that] which is not allowed)..." reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.

So your eyes are basically the weapons of mass destruction in terms of wrecking and damaging your soul or your iman. The iman fluctuates and oscillates at intense speed, sometimes never managing to return to its normal state.

Owh. Such a sinful summer i'm having. Need. To. Cover. My. Japanese. Slit. Like. Eyes.

The Prophet once said to Ali, "Ali! Do not look once after another, for the first look is for you (since it happens accidentally) while the second is against you."

First look is not a 2 or a 3 second look. It's probably a milisecond look. It's accidental. Of course you can't prolong your gaze!

I need to try and and cover my eyes from the sinful sight of the surrounding of summer.

23. Masih muda.

2009-06-07T04:57:00.000-07:00

(((((Sila pasang Piano Concerto No. 5 in E-Flat Major oleh Beethoven untuk memantapkan pengalaman membaca post ini)))))

Kata-kata Ustaz Ayob (atau kadang-kadang dikenali sebagai Ustaz Boya jika namanya dibaca dari belakang dan juga kerana kegarangan beliau) di tingkatan 3 masih terngiang-ngiang di setiap pusingan koklea ku.

Ayat keramat.

"Lepas 23 tahun, kena insaf dah. Sebelum tu nak enjoy boleh la." Ia diingiringi dengan senyuman sinis penus sangsi.

Mungkin di sebalik senyuman itu, ustaz ini punk rock dulu. Dengar the Ramones? Lepas tu insaf pada umur 23?

Harini aku dah ganjil 23 tahun. Kata orang, "Age is just a number."

Lonjatan dari nombor 22 ke 23 disulami dengan adegan-adegan pelbagai rupa bukan saja kepada diriku, tetapi juga di sekelilingku. Ada sulaman yang halus, semestinya wujud sulaman yang kasar. Jika digambarkan, mungkin hasilnya satu lukisan abstrak yang tidak difahami maksudnya. Jika dinovelkan, mungkin nukilannya merupakan epik tetralogi yang belum ada penghujungnya.

Tiada siapa yang nampak kesudahan hidup masing-masing. Kecuali Tuhan yang merancang. Yang aku boleh buat ialah menapis pengalaman, mengambil yang positif dari yang negatif, baru boleh progresif.

Pada umur 23, rambut ku menipis, cermin mata menebal, musculus rectus abdominis 6 ketul yang aku idamkan mungkin sudah tak kecapaian. Perut ni satu bungkusan pukal, berlipat-lipat macam tayar basikal.

Petang ini sejuk, bukan sejuk cuaca. Sejuk dngan kesyukuran kerana masih dikurniakan peluang.

Satu petang lebih untuk berdoa.
Satu petang lebih untuk bertaubat.
Satu petang lebih untuk merenung diriku dalam cermin dan berkata, "aku masih hidup rupanya, dan masih handsome rupanya."

The trick to keep alive is to keep breathing. Dan Alhamdulillah, aku masih bernafas walaupun tersekat-sekat akibat allergic rhinitis.

PS : Selamat hari lahir Chapo (6 June), Pidud (8 June), Abe (9 June). Aku tak ingat sangat birthday orang, tapi yang ini aku ingat gak.

A Jihad for Love?

2009-06-02T11:35:00.000-07:00

“Are you gay?” quipped one of my friends a few years back at high school.

It was not actually out of context, since I did spend a lot of time (9 years yo!) studying in all boys’ school. I would answer his question with an expression of a serial killer gunning for the headshot of the president. I guess it was this schooling period that made me rather shy and unnatural towards girls. But hey, if I am not shy and unnatural, I won’t be the Afiq Fikri you know (or don’t know) right now. But I’m improving and evolving all the time. I guess.

And so, I was at the receiving end of gay jokes most of the time. Sometimes those jokes really hurt me that I would just retreat at some spot alone and start to cry. It was a really dark period of my life. As dark as night, as lonesome as a dove.

Ok. I was just joking. The last few sentences were there to amplify the experience of reading this article.

But as time passed by, I got used to those jokes. And I couldn’t help but laugh off at the fact that people think I’m gay.

Now, it seems there are really gay people out there, which I thought was just a myth. I stumbled across a documentary called ‘A Jihad for Love’ about gay Muslims when I was hunting down for quality documentaries during the winter break. I was a bit surprised and angered by it. I tried to look find the illegal copy of the show but it was to no avail.

Luckily, there was another TV program called simply ‘Gay Muslims’ in the UK. And it was available on YouTube. When asked what is the basis of such behavior on their part, since Islam doesn’t tolerate homosexuality, one of them had the explanation.

7 : 80-84 And (We sent) Lut when he said to his people: What! do you commit an indecency which any one in the world has not done before you? Most surely you come to males in lust besides females; nay you are an extravagant people. And the answer of his people was no other than that they said: Turn them out of your town, surely they are a people who seek to purify (themselves). So We delivered him and his followers, except his wife; she was of those who remained behind. And We rained upon them a rain; consider then what was the end of the guilty.

We all know of the story of the prophet Lut in the al-Quran. And so they argued that, in a verse above, the usage of the word ‘lust’ (shahwat in Arabic) referred to indecent sexual behaviors. It didn’t apply the word ‘love’ in the sentence.

And what he is experiencing with his partner, he says, is called love. So he deems his actions are right because probably he isn’t involved in any abnormal sexual doings.

From the stories of the prophet Lut in the al-Quran, the gist of the verses tells us that homosexuality is intolerable in Islam. Unacceptable. There are a lot of non Muslims who are already confused with the religion and the production of such documentaries won’t be of much help.

I have to admit my 2 favourite writers are gay. Douglas Coupland and Chuck Palahniuk are both gays. I hate this fact but in their environment it is considered acceptable.

But what I am surprised is that there is a freedom to interpret such verses according to their personal thinking. It’s true that al-Quran is a revelation meant for everyone and at times we are able to interpret some verses ourselves. But the way they have interpreted it is blatantly out of context for me.

This is due to the large chunks of ‘freedom movement’ and ‘human rights’ going on in the world. There is also the Al-Fatiha Foundation in American for gay rights. Freedom this freedom that. The thing is there is a fine line of demarcation of freedom, a border which can’t be crossed. This freedom movement puts desires and the human mind and emotions ahead of anything else to quench their demands for a just life, with full freedom of expression. The human mind is limited, and the divinity of religion seems to have lost its cause.

Freedom is just a state of mind. If freedom refers to 100% being able to do what you want to do, then the word itself should not have even existed. If freedom is limited, then it's not the freedom those philosophers and activists are preaching about.

As for the interpretation part, there are scholars us who have studied, understood and mastered the al-Quran. So if they are confused about anything, they should always refer to their commentaries on the al-Quran.

In the end, there are those who really want to change. I’ve read a letter sent by a husband of his troubles with the feelings of homosexuality. But he is trying hard to overcome such emotions and that deserves a salute.

I hope we are always led to the righteous path. Amin.

Eternal nemesis is around the corner.

2009-05-30T16:02:00.000-07:00

The amateurly taken picture of my table.

I am writing to myself at a time of distress.

On this desk, this dusty desk. I will prepare for my test, exams to be precise. I'm going to try me best.

Surgery and therapy,
Are interesting than psychiatry,
Psychosis and OCD,
Are no match for appendectomy,
Thanks to this guy McBurney,
He makes things look so easy.

22nd will be traumatology,
I've got Appley and Maheshwari,
Joints dislocating , bones breaking,
I've got to try and stop blogging.
Casts and splints, arthritis and fractures.
I've got to prepare for my future.

Infectious diseases are the obvious monsters,
It will cause my brain to shatter.
Now say hello to herpes zoster.
It will cause your skin to blister.

To all my 6th year folks in Volgograd, the best of luck for your finals. Do your best, fulfill your destiny and become excellent doctors later on. This is it guys. What you've been waiting for all this while.

Lepas exam jom pi Dinamo men atas rumput yang nan menghijau, sejuk mata memandang. I'm going back on the 5th of July, so if you guys are still here we could spend some time visiting the ailing Mamaev Kurgan.

To all my friends all over Russia; Volgograd, Moscow and Nizhny, good luck and all the best in your finals.

And to whoever is facing their exams, wherever you are, good luck too.

I pray and hope that we will all pass the exam with the colours of the rainbow.

This atheistic society

2009-05-30T12:56:00.000-07:00

"...the devil, disguised as a magician, descends upon Moscow in the 1930s with his riotous band, which includes a talking cat and an expert assassin..."

Master and Margarita was a novel written by Mikhail Bulgakov, a satire of the bureaucratic nature and the godless order at the capital of atheism, Moscow. I've yet to read it after buying it from ebay during the winter holidays, but the theme interests me so much, it was sublimely punk to actually write something that antagonizes the communistic state.

Another novel, which fortunately i managed to finish was Neil Gaiman's American Gods. Fantasy by genre, but from a self interpretation, a satire by nature. Brilliantly imaginative, a magnum opus from the writer who also wrote 'Stardust'. It was a battle of old Gods against 'new Gods'; ranging from Thoth, Anubis and Horus of the Egyptian Pantheon, Slavic Gods Bielebog (white god, the god of happiness) and Czernebog (black god, god of death), Odin-the chief God from Norse paganism and a few other pagan gods against the new school 'American Gods'; Gods of Internet, media manifested in physical forms.

Probably, Gaiman thinks that we have reached a point where the very nature of our existence is questioned, up to the point of being godless, a life with no purpose or a life solely based on quenching our endless desires in this temporary world. That we have come to a point when we spend too much time 'praying' in front of the television, on the internet, so on and so forth.

Atheism literally translates as 'godless'. Jean-Paul Sartre, a prominent French philosopher denied the existence of God but later on in his life, as he matured, he acknowledged the presence of God. "God is dead" is one of the most famous quotes from Nietzsche, a German philosopher. He believes in the creation of Ubermensch or 'superman' as a new moral conduct, since the sacred belief in God could no longer promise morality. Nowadays, the ideals of atheism is widespread. With publications like 'The God Delusion' by Richard Dawkins propagating belief on a large scale. While people like Bill Maher continues to satirize religion, calling it a 'neurological disorder'.

After generations of people trying to decipher the meaning of life, trying to find who is actually God, the fast food generation of our current times have simply debunked the idea of the his existence.

112 : 1-4 Say: He is Allah, the One and Only; Allah, the Eternal, Absolute; He begetteth not, nor is He begotten; And there is none like unto Him.

Islam is 'submission'. And we submit only to the one omnipotent God, Allah. 'Al' is the definite article 'the', while 'ilah' means deity or god. So practically, Muslims are praying to Allah, The God. Being a montheistic religion, there is 'Tawheed' or the assertion of one-ness of Allah, of which its tenets include Tawheed ar-rubibiyah (oneness of Lordship), Tawheed al-asma was-sifaat (oneness of Allah's name and attributes) and Tawheed al-Ibadah (oneness of worship). Seeing, is indeed, believing but the belief in a God needs faith. We may not see Him, but there are more than enough manifestations in nature that testifies to the presence of Allah. We may not have a physical representation of Allah, but the belief itself is of utmost importance in Islam.

16 : 18 And if you would count the favours of Allah, never could you be able to count them. Truly! Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

The relationship between Allah and man in Islam is often misunderstood. Some have thought it to be unliberating as Muslims believe they are slaves to Allah. But when we mention slavery, the general picture springs out the man to man form of slavery. But in this matter, the form of slavery is just different from what you may think of. By being slaves to Allah, we (human beings) are being entrusted to take care of what has been given to us by Allah, the concept of being a khalifa (2:30, 33:72). Not only between human beings, but to the nature as well. And Allah sent down a manual, the al-Quran to His beings, through which we would know how to live and who and how to worship in this life. There is dignity in this form of slavery, as Allah has given us more than we could have ever imagined.

But sadly, nobody questions our slavery to the material world. To be liberated, we would need to cut the chains which bind us too much to the our wordly desires. And only then, the presence of Allah would be felt in our hearts all the time. God willingly, the act of remembrance of Allah would prevent us from the negativity and evils of the world.

51 : 56 And I (Allah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone).

2 : 255 Allah. There is no god but He,-the Living, the Self-subsisting, Eternal. No slumber can seize Him nor sleep. His are all things in the heavens and on earth. Who is there can intercede in His presence except as He permitteth? He knoweth what (appeareth to His creatures as) before or after or behind them. Nor shall they compass aught of His knowledge except as He willeth. His Throne doth extend over the heavens and the earth, and He feeleth no fatigue in guarding and preserving them for He is the Most High, the Supreme (in glory).

Presumably, the suicide rates proves to us that the post soviet era has produced a generation that are still atheistic and most probably nihilistic, with former soviet states occupying the upper tier of the statistics.

Quite frankly, those who stand for nothing would fall for anything.

Spontaneous Human Combustion

2009-05-28T12:00:00.000-07:00

Spontaneous human combustion (SHC) is the alleged process of a human body catching fire as a result of heat generated by internal chemical or nuclear action. While no one has ever witnessed SHC, several deaths involving fire have been attributed to SHC by investigators and storytellers.

Taken from here.

Are there possibilities that the person next to you could just go ablaze in a split second and cremated into ashes, blown away to distant lands by the storms of early summer? Sitting on my couch last summer, in that wave of heat in Malaysia, watching the National Geographic channel on the aforementioned topic, it perplexed me as to how there could be such phenomenon, a myth which is now hotly debated among scientists, some trying to approve it as a valid scientific theory, while skeptic scientists are eager to debunk SHC with hopes of making it a mere reference in some pulp fiction publication.

And Brandon Boyd of Incubus sings on 'Pardon Me' : -

A decade ago, I never thought I would be,
at twenty three, on the verge of spontaneous combustion. Woe-Is-me.
I need you to hear, I need you to see that I have had all I can take and
exploding seems like a definite possibility to me.
So pardon me while I burst into flames.
I've had enough of the world and it's people's mindless games.

It may be illogical, but the song deals with the calamitous surroundings and persistent disastrous state of the world as a possible cause of SHC.

Indeed, one of these days i could be blown out of proportions due to the evils of the world.

There is a heightened state of hypocrisy. Devils masking as angels. The air thickened with the stench of greed and the world bloated with sexual harassments and rape. Minds poisoned by jealousy, fuelled by anger and emotional outbursts. The rule of megalomaniacs, thirsty for a piece of political power.

Nobody cries of 'emergency state'.

Sex and drugs are the new Gods. Wealth is the new creed. Entertainment is the new religion. The regression of a generation. This atheistic society, with an allergy to God.

Nobody cries of 'de-civilisation'.

By 2020, depression will be prevelant in the society. High incidence which may overtake myocardial infarction on the top spot. Will then, only, people will cry for God. For help.

Will you then ask for the parachute after the drop from the sky?

Regardless of religion, it's the nature of human beings. It's in the genes. We come back searching for Allah. For Jesus, Krishna, Yahweh or whoever you believe in. But i'm a Muslim, and i would be scrambling back for the one and only God, Allah.

Now religion is minimized to the function of an airbag. In certain cases, in accidents, in distress and chaos, then only would people certify religion in their lives.

And i pray, and i ask, and i beg, "Don't stray me off the path".

17 : 67 And when harm touches you upon the sea, those that you call upon vanish from you except Him (Allah Alone). But when He brings you safe to land, you turn away (from Him). And man is ever ungrateful .

P.S : Happy birthday to Hidayatil Alimi. His birthday is today, 29th of May. May you be prosperous and healthy. You're already thin. Stop dieting.

To my beloved Kak Eja, congratulations for becoming an engineer by profession. Now, go to www.maybank2u.com.my, log in, and deposit some cash for your little brother.

A toast to the champions of Europe

2009-05-28T11:10:00.000-07:00

Carles Puyol proved to us that he deserves a Golden Globe award for best supporting character. The boy from the theater of dreams, Cristiano Ronaldo was up staged by the diving antics of Puyol, who went down to the ground, quite easily at times, accompanied with the facial expression of a mother giving birth. Finally, Ronaldo gets a taste of his own medicine.

Carles Puyol, i salute you.

Given the circumstances that Manchester United were on course to be the first team to win back to back European titles of the new format, they were far superior favourites to win it.

But pundits were left scrambling as their predictions went wrong. Awfully wrong.

While Barcelona are being lauded for their tiki taka method of short passing movements, Manchester United had an off day last night. They could have done better. And it wasn't a cracking game as i expected it to be. Quite rightly, it was a stroll in the park for Barcelona.

The trio of Xavi, Iniesta and Sergio Busquets, who is fast becoming a cultured holding midfielder was enough to dent the attacking threat of United. It was a joy to watch the fluidity and the silky slick passing of Barcelona, orchestrated by Xavi Hernandez.

The strength in depth of the English Premier League came into the spotlight last night. The riches of the top four teams can't be questioned, but the gulf existing between the top four and the other teams is enormous. The same statement should not be mentioned with La Liga, in which the teams out of the top four are far better than their counterparts in the EPL.

And while the new faces at Old Trafford are more of a mixture of international up and coming stars, Barcelona have been producing prodigies of their own and most of them are Catalunians, which is important when it comes to understanding the roots of the club. The appointment of Guardiola is a master stroke, as he himself came through the youth system to become one of the legends as a player and now, he is re-writing the history books with his humility as a coach.

And as for Liverpool, they only harbour Gerrard and Carragher as scousers and i would love to see few more local lads to break into the first team.

But for now, Barcelona deserves all the plaudits. Kings of Europe. Undisputed.

Shoes

2009-05-26T12:43:00.000-07:00

On some random day, the shoe rack of room 93 would look something like this. I've got a few pairs of high cut basketball shoes which are like my obsession (how hedonistic is this?). Vikneswaran has a lot of shoes because his dad owns a few shoe stores in Temerloh (Kedai Kasut Sri Maju). So he gets them for free. Fairuz has a lot of futsal shoes (Nike Tiempo, Nike 5,R10), and everytime he buys a new pair, i would inherit the previous pair. So i need not buy a pair of futsal shoes. I'm certainly not a fashion guru like my senior, but i do like a good pair of shoes.

Aha. My first love. I still remember when i bought this, it was before our final SPM paper, chemistry. I didn't have a proper pair of shoes prior to this one. I was quite the "Raja Pau" as i had the knack to take food from people (particularly nasi lemak after prep) and i was not left behind in "taking" or borrowing shoes from my friends. Bwahaha. I went to Langkawi Fair, a shopping mall in Langkawi and got myself this. Muizz got himself a good pair too that day. It's quite worn out and i rarely use it. It's like a first wife. You love her and don't want to let her go, but at the same time, you spend little time with her. And it holds tonnes of memories.

Being observant of my love for such shoes, my classmate, upon our return back to Russia from our first summer break, Shairazi Azizi told me that there was a nice pair in Park House, which at that time in 2005 was the only decent shopping mall in Volgograd. So i bought this Adidas Epi Pro II which are exquisitely larger than my feet, but i still like it. I went to Spain with it.

Then after returning back from Spain, i got myself this pair, bought in GUM in Moscow. It was intended for some proper meetings or events as it didn't look that sporty, although the shoes are actually skateboarding shoes.

When i went to Saint Petersburg in summer 2005, i laid my eyes on this beauty and told myself i had to have this. Realizing that i can't afford any high cut Jordan shoes, this was the perfect substitute. And i finally got it for my birthday in 2006. And it remains one of my favourites, although there are holes here and there.

From that moment onwards, i became Puma crazy. And i got myself a second pair in 2008. It's actually the same Puma Sky High but with different colours and this design, according to my friend Sacchi, is only manufactured specifically in Europe. And of course, just like all new wives, i will tend to wear this more often than the others.

I think that's it for me. I mean, after this i need to find myself a nice pair of Bata shoes to go to work. I'm getting old and i think these shoes won't fit my elderly appearance later on. Plus, in Malaysia it's quite hot and these shoes make my feet sweat so much, my socks will be soaking wet after awhile.

Scholesy

2009-05-26T11:21:00.000-07:00

If all the Manchester United players queue up, from the beginning to the Matt Busby era to Fergie's generations of players, from greats such Bobby Charlton to George Best, Bobby Robson to Steve Bruce to Mark Hughes, Cantona to Cristiano Ronaldo, there will always be one player who stands out the most.

If i had to pick 3 United players, who i want to see playing for Liverpool, they would be Roy Keane, Wayne Rooney and Paul Scholes. Giggs comes a close fourth. Of course, this is due to the fact that i've grown up watching these players instead of the other great United legends.

But there's only one Paul Scholes.

You can talk about Gerrard or Lampard and their abilities, but England lost a potent goal threat when he decided to retire from the international scene.

He scores crackers from 25, 40 yards out of goal and this one against Aston Villa is top notch. He delivered a volley, perfect timing, a sweet connection with his boots, with the precision of a neurosurgeon.

And the best fact of him is that he shuns from any publicity. In the modern era when football is more of an industry, he prefers to be a laid back, normal guy. This is asthmatic guy is an example for any up coming footballer. And he's about to retire next year.

As Roy Keane states in his autobiography : " 'No celebrity bullcrap, no self-promotion - an amazingly gifted player who remained an unaffected human being."

There's only one Paul Scholes.

Bomoh

2009-05-23T08:24:00.000-07:00

It was in the premature hours of early morning, when i received that ominous call. That sinister ring, reverberating through the four corners of my house just half past midnight. When the ringing lasted longer than 15 seconds, i anticipated a wicked night ahead. The silence of the house made my mind sharp. It was as if i had a sixth sense of what was coming.

A night of ghosts and ghouls yet again.

At midnight, i don't expect any marriage proposals, business deals or banquet invitations.

The ad goes : "Modern Exorcist Service/ Perkhidmatan Bomoh Modern : 012-908 6789."

I put it up everywhere possible. Particular emphasis : those rural villages where roads are infested with potholes after potholes, where neon lights are scarce, where houses stay apart from each other. Where the devil roams.

"Modern", in the ad, defines my fashion sense, rather than any progressive method of exorcism. Heck, i was forced into this profession, at the very least i should have the freedom to choose what to wear. I'm clad in black coat and slacks, white shirt and a red tie. My Bata leather shoes complete my western appearance. And of course, the songkok. A helmet would mess up my hair, so i don't use it.

I was once held up by a police officer for wearing only the songkok. He asked for some form of bribery. But i managed to subdue him with my powers.

Yes, i ride a bike to work. A Honda Super Cub. Exorcism doesn't make you a millionaire.

I loaded my arsenal into my briefcase, consisting of "Manual of exorcism", written by my 'legendary' exorcist dad, a tranquilizer gun and darts of Benzodiazepines and Haloperidols and other anti psychotics.

In medical school, you learn about psychosis and its causes. From tumours to severe depression to schizophrenia to degenerative brain disease, sclerosis or as a complication of conditions such as electrolyte disbalance in the body. They are all manifested with delusions and hallucinations.

But i'm not treating any of that.

My cases are due to supernatural etiologies. Of unexplained nature. There were cases of schizophrenics mumbling about their prophecies and a great deal of the end of the world, but those are as rare as seeing a six legged rabbit munching on watermelon. When they do happen, somebody just calls the ambulance and i would go back and have a good night sleep.

The problem arises when they are not medical cases. And mostly they are not and those tranquilizer guns make me look like a second grade FBI agent.

Kampung Jahanam would take about 15 mins on the motorbike. Albeit a short journey, it was enough to get my head rolling of what to expect.

The call was atypical.

"He's waiting for you."

"Who's waiting for what?"

"For the son of Samad the exorcist."

A short and simple call which injected more enquiries.

There was no time for me to check through the files left by my dad, but his enemies are aplenty. But the caller, Pak Aboo is his old friend, and the his voice was slightly trembling. On my way, i stopped at a 24 hour sundry shop to buy a pack of Marlboro, not for me, but for the devil himself.

For this nefarious nemesis awaiting me. A new school exorcist against an old school nemesis.

I never asked to be the son of an exorcist. I never asked to be part of this occultic scene. Maybe this was fated to be.

And when i arrived, the hypnotized body of the victim was dancing under the light bulb. Dancing and whistling, wearing that psychotic smile that never fails to excite me. And he started to sing. It was impromptu and the song sucked. He had the voice of a girl high on steroids. The language was inconceivable.

Then he stared right into my eyes, his ruby red eyes spoke of hatred and damnation.

"I was waiting for you."

It was, indeed going to be a wicked night.

As much as i hated being an exorcist, did i mention my penchance for a good old conversation?

"Care for a cigarette?". The devil-man took a cigarette and started to sip.

And we started to talk...

PS : I'm trying to write a short story of a modern day bomoh who is a medical student dropout. He's a son of a bomoh and seems to naturally inherit the abilities of his dad. He never wanted to become one, but due to some circumstances, he has taken the task with a heavy heart. Maybe i'll write it on another blog.