"I have never been able, really, to regret anything in all my life. I have always been far much too absorbed in the present moment or the immediate future to think back."
-Albert Camus.

It's hard not to regret what you've done wrong, but i try to live with that idea in my mind. You should regret things done wrong if you're doing it over and over again, and indeed, try to find the solution for your failures but if you look back at your life, the regrets lie in things that you didn't do more than the things you did wrong. Because you do learn something from your mistakes, but you can't do anything but say, 'Hey, i wish i could have done that when i was younger.'

And the Russian language, is one of my biggest regrets of my entire life. It's not like a suicidal regret, like i want to jump off a building for not mastering a Soviet language, just that i thought i could have done better and learn it more properly. After 6 years and yet to master (as in being really fluent in writing and speaking) a foreign language, that's quite unacceptable.

It all started when i was at INTEC, Shah Alam, where we had our prep before coming to Russia. It was basically language studies. Russian language had a different set of alphabets so we started from the very bottom. I was playing truant most of the time. At times i was really sick, as it was a sequela from my fever ridden days before SPM which had continued quite a few times after. But most of the time, i was just lazy.

An as a result, the teacher disliked me. 'Hated me' might sound too strong but i can guess she was close to that.

The pinnacle arrived when i was asked to the whiteboard to write and then read. The magnificent thing was i read it incorrectly. I can't remember the exact word but here's an example. This word here, "медицинского", that means 'medical' in English. Romanized, letter by letter, it should be something like this 'Medisinskogo'. But it is not read as -kogo, as in Latin or English, but should be read as -kava at the ending. So the word should be read this way 'Medisinskava'.

I got off from my chair in that winter cold class room, went to the board, wrote something and i was asked to read. I gazed at the word as if it was a physics' question needing a bogus formula by some Italians with cute surnames like Bernoulli or Machiavelli, and finally, with little confidence, i uttered, yea, you guessed it right.

'Medisinskogo', instead of the right pronunciation of 'Medisinskava'. The teacher offered me a smile and corrected me. That was one of the funniest moments in my life. I didn't regret that because i knew i had lots of time later in Russia to learn the language.

Things changed drastically when i arrived in Volgograd. I was the teacher's pet of my Russian language teachers. Yes. THE teacher's pet. We had 4 Russian language teachers through out the 6 years of studies and all of them sorta liked me one way or the other. I am not implying that i have superior Russian language skills, all i am saying is that i have this mix Russian-Japanese-Malay looks that the teachers really like.

There's proof. Once, when i was in Saint Petersburg, a young Russian girl came up to me while i was waiting for the train to Moscow and gave me a flower. A daisy, it was, if i am not mistaken. She offered me a kiss but i backed off, telling her, 'a flower means much more than kisses'.

Okay, the second part was pure fiction to enhance your reading experience. Yes, a girl did give me a flower, so maybe i've got the exotic looks that those Russian language teachers like about me.

Well, in the end, they liked me because i was able to memorize most of my homework and rarely make grammatical errors. It's not that i am that good, it's just that i use the same sentence construction over and over again so as to minimize my mistakes. And the teachers like that. To rewrite something out of my scope of learning would be a painstaking experience.

Maybe i was not giving that right attitude of learning a foreign language. I tried taking up Arabic by myself but i don't reserve enough time to really really study the language. Language is not just about grammar and writing, the most important element is speaking and you need to train yourself speaking the language. I am so untalkative, which makes it triple hard to master a language. And i wish i could be more spontaneous, because i do take time to figure out words which should exit my mouth.

Language is something extra and there's a lot to it if you master a language. Translator, maybe you could become an ambassador of a foreign country. The menu in foreign language you read in the flights, that's like a professional work, including all other publications big or small. You could be part of an advertising company, a traveling company, or become a correspondent journalist and all that.

Beyond that, language is also a tool Allah used to propagate Islam. Take the Qur'an for example, which Muslims believe to be inimitable.

17 : 88 Say: "If the whole of mankind and Jinns were to gather together to produce the like of this Qur'an, they could not produce the like thereof, even if they backed up each other with help and support.

Prophets of the past were given special powers as a proof of their prophecy, suitable for the people living at that particular period of time. To the people of Firaun or Pharaoh in Egypt, Allah sent Moses and gave him the power of magic to counter against the people of that period of time who were deep into black magic.

7 : 116-118 Said Moses: "Throw ye (first)." So when they threw, they bewitched the eyes of the people, and struck terror into them: for they showed a great (feat of) magic. We put it into Moses's mind by inspiration: "Throw (now) thy rod":and behold! it swallows up straight away all the falsehoods which they fake! Thus truth was confirmed, and all that they did was made of no effect.

To the Prophet Isa a.s. or Jesus Christ was given the power of healing the blind and lepers, bringing back the dead alive probably because the people of his time had practised medicine and such acts by Nabi Isa would be considered as miraculous.

5 : 111 ...and thou healest those born blind, and the lepers, by My leave. And behold! thou bringest forth the dead by My leave....

And so, the Qur'an was sent down to the people of Arabia through the Prophet Muhammad SAW with a language unparalleled of, because the people at that time were deep into poetry and there were these soothsayers, or kahins who would recite them as part of their rituals. And so the Qur'an is not only the bearer of truth as we Muslims believe, but also a work of Allah of literary importance. Even orientalists have described the language as being 'carefully rhymed' and a Italic'literary device capable of delivering profound effects'.

That's why we need to read the Qur'an over and over again, and try to read between the lines and understand it. And if you have extra time, try learning Arabic because it will be useful to comprehend what you're reading, particularly during your prayers.

There's lot more to language than meets the eye. One day, when i look back at my time in Russia, i will always remember those peculiar moments going to shops and saying, 'I want that, this, that and that,' because i didn't know what those groceries were called in russian. Damn.
I watched Top Chef masters finale with my roommates. It's a dinner time thing and we were having 'Sweet bitter yellowish gravy lemon chicken'. We are yet to cook the duck we bought on Friday. I can't appreciate the series that much, but still it's an exciting show.

Their descriptions of those foods were totally out of this world.

"That food made me shiver." Wow.

"That's just marvellous!" You know, with that face of utter, pure disbelief, as if they had taken the best food in the universe. Their eyes go exophthalmoic, bulging out of their orbits while their masseter muscles keep on munching and exclaiming how those foods have changed their perception of what eating is all about.


Most of the time, they have done one big mistake in their cooking. That one blasphemic sin and i would certainly disqualify them for making such an error.

'Where's the rice? How could you give me this whatever meat you cooked without white rice accompanying it?'

'But i..but i..'

'You're fired.'

That's why i am not a food critique.

In the end, it's just food, you twat!
When i have some free time, i read Sherlock Holmes on my iPhone.

A close friend, who has a collection of Sherlock Holmes' books recommended them to me. He had this very old version of them, with dog eared, brownish-yellow dull pages here and there. He pinpointed Holmes' extraordinary observation skills and his egoistic character.

So i have started reading since and the stories have never disappointed me. Wonderfully written, superb language, this is the definitive detective story you have to read. I'm not interested with all these CSI-detective-cop stories but Sherlock Holmes is just fun to read. Period. Of all fiction i've read my entire life, this is the book i would recommend to anybody and everybody.

After some time reading it, i realized that he has an ego equal to Dr. House. And it's not a surprise that you could find on wikipedia that both characters have parallel attributes. Both have this perception that they are the best in what they do. Both are drug addicts : Holmes to cocaine, House to Vicodin. House lives in Apartment 221B, while Holmes lived in 221B Baker Street. While you have watched Dr. House's observatory skills, here's an example of Holmes'.

This is from a story called The Stock-Broker's Clerk in 'The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes'. After having a small conversation and inviting his sidekick Dr. Watson for an investigation of a case in Birmingham, Holmes remarked that Watson 'has been unwell latelly'. And so Dr. Watson asked :

"How, then, did you know of it?"

"My dear fellow, you know my methods."

"You deduced it, then?"


"And from what?"

"From your slippers."

Then Holmes continued :-

"You could not have had them more than a few weeks. The soles which you are at this moment presenting to me are slightly scorched. For a moment i thought they might have got wet and been burned in the drying. But near the instep there is a small circular wafer of paper with the shopman's hieroglyphics upon it. Damp would of course have removed this. You had, then, been sitting with your feet outstretched to the fire, which a man would hardly do even in so wet a June as this if he were in his full health."

Dr. Watson, the sidekick who is the narrator of almost all these stories/adventures then reflected upon his explanation, "He read the thought upon my features, and his smile had a tinge of bitterness."

"I am afraid that i rather give myself away when i explain," said he (Holmes). "Results without causes are much more impressive. You are ready to come to Birmingham, then?"

That's an ego the size of a universe.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the author of these stories was a physician and wrote these stories while waiting for patients in his usual daily practice. His epitaph reads, "Patriot, Physician and Man of Letters." He certainly was a man of language.

Hope the movie does not disappoint, although i know it will since the experience of reading the stories was excellent, it would take a gigantic effort for the movie to overwhelm the books.
Slept for a few hours last Thursday and my roommate reserved the final 30 odd minutes of the movie '2012' for us to watch together at dinner time. And after we finished cooking, i witnessed Roland Emmerich's version of how, supposedly, the world would end.

But what i saw could not match the flavor that entertained my taste buds. Maybe the sumptuous taste of the red pepper chicken overpowered the quality of the movie. Or maybe, the movie was simply horrendous.

Now, cue 'red pepper chicken' as one of the searches that will lead people to this blog. Red Pepper Chiken. Red Peppery Chickens. Reddish Chicken. Radish chicken.

By the time the movie ended, i realized that Roland Emmerich has an appetite for destruction. This is the guy who directed 'The day after tomorrow' and 'Godzilla'. Probably his fetish, but i just don't care about that. And the hero, Joe Cusack reminded me of Tom Cruise in 'War of the worlds'. You've got to be divorced to be a hero in an apocalyptic-end of the world movie, and both of them were.

When people get divorced, there's this similar tune playing : Irreconcilable Differences. In Terengganu, irreconcilable differences may be defined by the following terms : smelly body odour, humdrum sex, and the best of all, boring pyjamas. I'm a Kedahan, and where i come from, they have yet to define anything about irreconcilable differences. But if those 3 reasons come up, then i am sure the world will becoming to an end anytime soon.

But why did they bother to save the world under the banner of saving humanity in '2012'? The people who were saved were a bunch of selfish lunatics who either kept it as a secret or paid a heavy sum to get on that arc. Humanity is ingrained with wickedness and evil. There's no end to it. The first recorded murder in human history, the murder of Abel by Cain, or Habil and Qabil in Islamic literature testifies to this.

There's this sickening state of humanity. Of greed, jealousy, the quest for the material world, the hatred. Don't look that in anyone else, look that in you. It's just like how people never run out of ways to kill. One day they strangulate. The next day they stab. Then they choke. Electrocute. Gun down the culprit.

2 : 30 Behold, thy Lord said to the angels: "I will create a vicegerent on earth." They said: "Wilt Thou place therein one who will make mischief therein and shed blood?- whilst we do celebrate Thy praises and glorify Thy holy (name)?" He said: "I know what ye know not."

I've read of people losing faith in humanity, and it's not hard to see why. The best thing you could do is to be selfish for a moment and look at yourself thoroughly, and more importantly save yourself before you could save others. The road for betterment is long and winding, and some people just can't keep a straight path on it. Everyone thinks its just too early, we're just too young to change but in the end we will regret some things that we didn't do in our lives instead of the things we did.

23 : 99-100 (In Falsehood will they be) Until, when death comes to one of them, he says: "O my Lord! send me back (to life), "In order that I may work righteousness in the things I neglected." - "By no means! It is but a word he says."- Before them is a Partition till the Day they are raised up.

Save humanity? Like in that movie '2012'? You'll regret your move. Humans never really do change.
As the new Maal Hijrah calendar unfolds, and the new Gregorian year coming up, i can't quite remember when did i last make a new year's resolution. I stopped believing in such things because they never quite materialize.

And as the new year arrive, our ages are up by one. Age is an official indicator of the underlying, ongoing ageing process but birthdays hide the fact that i am getting older with each letter i am typing on this dusty, old and rotten keyboard of mine. With each passing of time, everyone wants to progress, to change for the better although the degree of how much we want to change varies. The rule of the thumb is, we all want to morph into butterflies, rather than being caterpillars all of our entire lives.

But progressing itself is not an annual event. It is this constant struggle to evolve day by day that defines our existence. One of the things i like to do is to criticize myself subconsciously. I think everyone does that.

Hey you, handsome boy.

You're going to become a doctor in 7 months' time. You're going to be responsible for people's lives. But you're just way too lazy at the moment. You're happy each time you get a mark '5' in class, as if you have just received your masters' or PhD scroll. You tell me that's complacency but you're still in your old state of jolly. Work harder, you need to.

One point me and my subconscious mind agree upon is the fact that we are blessed with the same home by which we are able to live in this world ; this wonderful physical appearance of ours. Another thing we agree upon is that we are both fond of wasting time. There has been a warning by Allah in the Qur'an :

103 : 1-2 By the token of time. Verily man is in loss.

It was aforementioned by God that we would almost certainly waste our time doing nothing. If there's one thing i want to change, it should be about my time management. It sucks big time.

From a historical sense, hijrah was the migration of the Prophet and his followers from the city of Makkah to Medinah. He realized that he was facing an oppression he could not resist, a gallant battle to preach to those in Mecca. So, upon an invitation from the residents of Yathrib, the Prophet emigrated to Madinah to spread the teachings of Islam. It needed proper planning and a lot of sacrifice in order to achieve that goal. And in the end, the plan succeeded. He realized that plan A wasn't working and took plan B instead, which was to travel to Madinah.

Einstein once stated, 'nothing more stupid than doing the same thing twice and expecting different results.' Therefore, i need not only criticise myself, but at the same time work things out so that i may reap the rewards.

Salam maal hijrah and a happy new year to all of you.

'Stesen berikutnya, Pasar Seni. Next Station, pasar seni.'

And the voice of the familiar female announcer rings in the Putra LRT, the same voice you may hear at banks or post offices. She must be making millions out of those patented recordings.

Once you've stepped out of those air conditioned Putra wagons, it is most likely that you will be greeted by the scorching heat of Kuala Lumpur. After an escalator ride and a few flights of stairs downwards, you can observe Central Market, or Pasar Seni.

Erected in the late 1880s, it served as a wet market for the folks of the city. I could assume it was a far cry from the current wet markets we are able to find in the city. Whereas, there were no posh supermarkets like Carrefour, Cold Storage, or Pasar Borong Mydin back in those days. Instead, you may hear voices bargaining for fresh products such as meat, chicken, fish or vegetables.

Pasar Seni or Pasar Budaya, Central Market’s names in the Malay language, do not denote the exact same meaning in English. ‘Seni’ or ‘budaya’ carry the meaning of ‘arts’ and ‘culture’ respectively, and aptly so, since now it has become a de facto symbol of arts and culture in Kuala Lumpur.

Throughout the years, tourists have thronged Central Market for a piece of memento from Kuala Lumpur, ranging from handy crafts, t-shirts, key chains, so on and so forth. For Malaysians, it lies deep in our culture not only as a historical landmark, but also as the place where dreams are made of.

Here you can find street artistes, a painter or a musician, strutting their stuff in and about the building.

Dreams in the form of a hollowed, six stringed instrument. Finding means of life, chord after chord ringing in the humid air of the city, singing songs in pure unadulterated vocals, clad in their knee-torn jeans and ragged t-shirts. Some may come from far away, with the hopes of securing a recording contract or at least, an offer for a gig. They dare to dream. Passer bys show their acknowledgement by throwing coins into the hat or the guitar bag lying in front of the performer, and he would thank them by nodding his head as a sign of mutual respect.

A painter manifests his dreams through brushes and pencils. Upon requests from customers, he paints a portrait or a caricature of them to pocket some money. He does a little more touch up to his artwork before he finally hands them the final piece.

These everyday people are the heart and soul of the city. They are the myriads of colour which brighten up the life of Kuala Lumpur.

The significance of Central Market stems from it's functional evolution; from being a mere wet market to be one of the most famous landmarks of Kuala Lumpur. There will come a day when all your MidValleys, KLCCs, Times Squares and Pavillions lose their significance, being replaced by more modern and sophisticated shopping malls.

However, Central market, with all its humble splendour will still be the heart and soul of Kuala Lumpur for ages and ages to come, ingrained with history and a culture unparalleled of.

I have this feedjit counter installed on my blog. It's like a toll which shows where do the visitors of my blog come from and how did they get here. So there are times when i come back to my blog and stalk my own counter just for fun.

Most of the time, they arrived after searching for, well, let's say normal things such as Maxes ifon plans or my former school which is somewhere on an island called Langkawi. Others include sepak takraw, some football players like Danny Aggger and Scholesyy, Mamaevv Kurgan, Dawood Wharnsbyy for a post i wrote about him. Another popular search is 'chronic introverted personality disorder', which is a title for a post on my blog.

There are also those who arrived after searching for 'Cristiano Ronaldo is ugly', which is another title of a previous post. It shows that i am not alone in the world, that there are others who actually have a pair of decent and honest eyes of how Cristiano Ronaldo really looks like.

I haven't updated the iPhone post. The last thing i've heard is that, they are freely selling the officially unlocked version in Malaysia.

But there are some searches which amaze and amuse me at the same time.

The most peculiarly popular search i've encountered is 'gustiy lengann', which i mentioned in my post 'Gusti' somewhere in September . There was a sudden hike of visitors searching for it in October/November. There was a consistent search for it through out that period of time. Maybe there was a big tournament going in Malaysia, like some world arm wrestling competition or something a little bit low scale, like the national arm wrestling championship in Malaysia.

It's like, not everybody wakes up and suddenly decides to type 'gustiiy lengaan' on their search engines. Or am i wrong? Let's refresh what i wrote in that post.

'Bukan gustiyy lengaan. Sukan yang sungguh gay di mana 2 lelaki berpegang-pegang tangan. Bukan juga gusti Greco-Roman. Itu lagi gay, berpeluk-pelukan di atas lantai. Tapi aku maksudkan ialah gusti lah, yang paling gay antara ketiga-tiga jenis gusti ni, yang biasa ditayangkan di TV tu.'

That's it. I was saying that i loved the gayest of the 3 forms of wrestling. That's all. And that's just a joke.

Some other weird ways to arrive on my blog include
*Pelajar Ausmaaattt tak lepas (Ausmaaat students who didn't pass)
*Harga cermin mata murah di Temeerloh (cheap glasses/spectacles in Temerloh)
*Gambar cermin mata (pictures of glasses)
*Some other weird search i've never managed to write down

But the pinnacle of it all, the one that triggered me to write this, is the search for this term :

'MRSMmm Langkawee Sex'

Oh boy, that guy must be a superb pervert. Or is it a girl?

Now i'm going to write this to promote my blog on the net.

Paris Hilton sexy pictures. Very nice.

Happy searching.

Note : Some of the words were intentionally spelled the wrong way so that they won't be misled again and again with those searches to this blog. If, somehow, they arrive on this blog with such words with the wrong spelling, they could either

1) have a weird sense of spelling humour.
2) have a bad command in language/spelling
3) have a malfunctioning keyboard
4) or worse, they are just stalking my blog.
The bridegroom who passed away yesterday in that fatal accident happened to be a friend of mine, my ex-classmate at Langkawi, Ariff Kadir. He passed away along with his parents and a friend of his.

A friend sms-ed me while i was having my lessons, informing me that he had passed away in an accident hours after he took the solemn oath of marriage. It was hard to sink in, but after awhile i just realized i lost a friend.

Few days before, a Chinese friend who hangs out quite often in my room told me that he had lost a friend in an accident, who happened to be a son of a CEO of some large company. The news appeared on the Star.

How ironic. I never thought i would experience the same feeling of losing a friend in an accident days later.

I was not the closest guy to him at school, but he was the president of the student council board and we worked together most of the time. His work entails him to plan a lot, of course, that's the job of the president. He's just the opposite of what i am. I'm a bulldozer, I just let my life flow by, while he's more intricate, planning bits here and there. And i think he has made some financial investments for his future, maybe planning for himself and his family. I bet his plan to be a lecturer has something to do with his planning, whether to continue his studies at the university or for his research or something. Besides, he was already planning his Islamic preachings to the youths of Perlis from what i read here.

In essence, he was living a life as a traveler, planning here, planning there.

Nobody plans their deaths, but his, was planned well by God.

It happened on a Friday, the holiest of days of a week in Islamic beliefs. Furthermore, it was approaching weekend and people would have time to travel back to Perlis to pay their last respects to him and his family. But ultimately, it took place while he was about to get married. Although it didn't turn out according to plan, those who gathered had the chance to pay their final respects for them, offering prayers as a form of gifts for those who have passed away.

For all of our plans, God is the master planner. And his passing was a shock to all those who have known him. Reality bites.

39 : 42 It is Allah that takes the souls (of men) at death; and those that die not (He takes) during their sleep: those on whom He has passed the decree of death, He keeps back (from returning to life), but the rest He sends (to their bodies) for a term appointed verily in this are Signs for those who reflect.

39 : 42 Allah (Yang Menguasai Segala-galanya), Dia mengambil dan memisahkan satu-satu jiwa dari badannya, jiwa orang yang sampai ajalnya semasa matinya dan jiwa orang yang tidak mati: Dalam masa tidurnya; kemudian Dia menahan jiwa orang yang Dia tetapkan matinya dan melepaskan balik jiwa yang lain (ke badannya) sehingga sampai ajalnya yang ditentukan. Sesungguhnya yang demikian itu mengandungi tanda-tanda yang membuktikan kekuasaan Allah bagi kaum yang berfikir (untuk memahaminya).

May Allah bless the souls of Ariff, his parents and friend.

And as the latin phrase goes, 'memento mori'. We all will die, eventually.

(harmonica plays in the background)

I've had fever and headaches for about 3 weeks now. I thought it was a normal turn-of-the-season event. It's getting cold, so i thought my body was reacting to the weather.

So, i went to class as usual, dismissing those symptoms as mere nonsense up until yesterday, when both became unbearable, the fever and the headache. So i checked my blood pressure and it was lower than my normal self, 105/70. Mine is at 120/80, which is the average normal blood pressure.

And yesterday, the diarrhea started. I thought it was going to be a diarrhea-free year for me, but i was wrong. Now, it has become the eagerly and annually anticipated event.

For these past 2 weeks i am easily fatigued, i could barely concentrate studying. But i could handle reading all those football news. And the Dr. M vs Mr. Nazri verbal wrestling. Above all else, i still managed to force myself to write something on this blog.

But i do wonder which intestinal bug is hitting me. Whatever it is, it is affecting my whole body and not only my stomach.

Funny thing is, i've never lost my appetite. Few years back, when the whole cooking collective of ours, 5 of us, were hit simultaneously with food poisoning, with diarrhea and fever, i was the one left intact with a full scale appetite. Fairuz, my roommate even got admitted that time around.

"What are we going to eat now? Curry? Coorma? Red hot chicken? Kentucky Friend Chicken?"

"After like 93 trips to the toilet you still have the nerves to eat?"

"My God given appetite is a gift i won't dare to deny."

Oh well, i think i need to be more cautious in terms of eating. More fruits, i guess. I ate an orange today for breakfast, which is like the 34th wonder of the world. I rarely eat fruits, unless they are peeled and presented right in front of my eyes on a plate with 2 scoops of ice cream. Manja nak mampos! But i do like bananas, and dislike the durian in whatever form it is (tempoyak, ice cream, pulut durian).

Now, i am gulping litres of water to replace loss fluids. I wanted to pay a visit at the polyclinic, but i am just too lazy with all the bureaucracy there. We are only allowed to go to one clinic here, and worst of all, you could only go there at 3 in the afternoon. If you have diarrhea overnight, and go to the clinic in the morning, they will tell you to come back at 3.

It was not like this a few years back, when we were allowed to go to several clinics in the city. When the university discovered a long lost treasure; the foreign students, they opened a clinic of their own, something like a semi private clinic so that all the students could only get treatment there and they would make millions out of us. . It's crap, but it's Russia.

But i tend to get treatment when it becomes worse. So don't follow my footsteps. If you have any complaints, just pay a visit to the neighbourhood doctor.

Something tells me i may become a stubborn patient myself in the future.
I finally discovered that an MRSM Langkawi junior exists among the first year freshies (i dislike this word actually). MRSM Langkawi is now no more a PKP. There are only 3 PKPs left according to that junior of mine; Taiping, Jasin and PC. And most teachers have now gone somewhere else. We had a mini conversation few days back.

'Dia ni dulu ketua pengawas'. (He was the head prefect). Mentioned a friend to this super junior of mine.

There was a chorus of wooo from someone to my left.

Brouhaha. I was a head prefect. Big deal. If they had given me the post of Arts and Culture Bureau, i might have turned the school into Maktab Rendah Seni Mara. But hey, i enjoyed my time waking people up for Subuh prayers and wearing black pants instead of khaki like the other kids did.

Well, i won through an election. It was, actually, a pseudo popularity contest. If you look good enough, they will vote for you.

'Comelnye abang ni! Lawanya kakak ni!' (Heavenly handsome looks! Wow, she's like Snow White!)

Heck, i was super lame during the manifesto. I was never good at talking in public. It still gives me the creeps. But i thought i got most of my votes from the males. I was never close to the opposite sex and maybe the girls at my school took me as the propagator of male supremacy, i guess.

'He's a male chauvinist! He champions male supremacy! Don't vote for him!'

I used to be the class monitor in my primary school days, the one who says 'Banguuunnn!! Se-La-Mat Se-Jah-Te-Ra Cikgu!'. And i was like the teacher's pet. There was a time, at Standard 4, when a friend, Kamal Fadzulee his name was, brought KFC to eat during recess, and i asked a bit. It was 5 minutes to recess, maybe less, and he peeled the skin off from the meat. I told him, 'Later dude, it's not yet recess', but he handed it to me anyway. Tempted by smell of it, or maybe i was hungry, i put it into my mouth and started munching. I thought i had pulled off the trick of the century by eating KFC skin during a lesson in class while a teacher is present. But the teacher saw it.

'What are you eating?'

No answer.'Nyam.Nyam.'Munching. I took sometime before i finally answered. I took close to 40 munches, maybe more, and then, like a pimp at his prime, i told my teacher. 'Kulit ayam KFC.'

Well, i got away with that. I had the immunity because i was the monitor lizard.

After schooldays long gone, i have been taking the odd jobs for events here and there. It was due to a)too lazy to hold any posts and b)i thought i was lacking experience, and i think this is true.

After awhile of watching things happen here and there, i finally, although albeitly late, have realized that money is super important for any club/associations/movements. I know it's a super lame statement, but really, capital is the answer for anything, besides good governance. Even if you have ideas to run your group, you won't be able to do so without enough capital.

Because i was doing too much prescribed jobs, like writing names of those make noise in class, i never had even the slightest idea that money moves everything. I always thought that the annual budget was all about the government showing off how rich they were.

"Hey Thailand, we're this rich! You won't get much selling those fake jerseys!"

Take for example, the Kelab UMNO Luar Negara or KULN for short. They're in a good position financially because they have been given funds to conduct their activities, without the need to generate funds. A good friend of mine recycles the money in order to make further income, and to distribute the income to the poor people of Indonesia through various charity programmes. And he is even making good money for himself by becoming a supporting actor in a TV series.

The Chinese and Indians here in Volgograd, have to work extra hard in order to have some money for all their activities. The Indians here conducted businesses on Sundays in order to finance their Deepavali function, while the Chinese are doing the same thing too, selling all kinds of delicacies on Sundays.

The guys here in Volgograd are doing a good job too with their charity drill to raise funds for the construction of a mosque here. And the exterior does look more like a masjid day by day and you could help further here.

I was never interested in the money making although i am greedy, because i was never business minded in the first place. Maybe i should think more of money, not only through the view of these clubs/associations but also on a personal level. I need to have good governance of my money, man.

So, it's time to be greedy, it's time to be stingy. Think money.

And oh, by the way, denggi means money in Russian.

PS : Hope you could spend some of your capital for this guy here, who has been suffering from complications after donating his liver. The donee, has since passed away. Thanks.
1. I am not a European, nor am i a Swiss. I am a Malaysian, with Japanese genes.

2. But i want to busy my own body to talk about the recent ban on minarets in Switzerland which left some people so emotionally charged up.

3. The first mosque or masjid ever built was the Masjid Quba, which was an open air mosque, which could be barely qualified as an architectural unit back then. The construction was completed years after the Prophet passed away and the 108th verse of chapter 9, surah at-tawbah, is widely believed to refer to this masjid.

9 : 108 .......There is a mosque whose foundation was laid from the first day on piety; it is more worthy of the standing forth (for prayer) therein. In it are men who love to be purified; and Allah loveth those who make themselves pure.

No minarets. No domes. No whatsoever. The foundation is piety.

4. The minaret comes from Islam's origins in Arab. If the Prophet Muhammad were a Chinese, then our mosques might look something like this.

5. We should separate what is culture and what is religion, because at times we are totally mixed up about things. For example, Malays long time ago started reading the chapter Yaasin from the Qur'an on the night before Friday , which we would usually recite for the dead based on this hadith here, because they thought they were seeing ghosts of the dead coming back to haunt them. In actuality, we should be reading al-kahf on nights before Friday based on this hadith here. But both hadeeths in those 2 links i have given have a weak transmission chain (i could not find them either in Sahih Bukhari or Muslim), but you could see how culture is intertwined with religion.

6. The same should be said of minarets. It is purely a form of architecture unrelated to Islam directly. There was no mentioning of minarets as the de facto architectural style to accompany each mosque. The lollipop minarets in Moscow is actually a cathedral.

7. When we talk about freedom, about rights, we tend to be more emotional rather than rational. Instead, we should confront these detractors with wisdom, with an insight worth listening to. Tell them this, 'Ah.Uhm.Whatever.' In a better way, of course. A gentleman's reply.


Peace be upon you, my brothers and sisters of different faiths across Switzerland. We are well aware of the referendum and the voice of the majority has spoken. The majority has decided to ban the construction of new minarets here in Switzerland. Minarets have been the identity of most mosques in the world due to the Arabic architectural basis, but there is no relation of our faith with minarets. Take China for example, they apply Chinese architecture for the mosques, while in Spain, they preferred Moorish style in the days of the Islamic empire. In the the laymen's term, a mosque is just a place where we congregate for prayers, regardless of external manifestations.

Henceforth, we accept your decision with arms wide open, for our mosque is built on the foundations of piety, brick walls made of tolerance, coloured by principles of unity, with the rooftops of faith, which renders this house of worship indestructible. Therefore, we hope we have cleared your minds of the image on your posters depicting those minarets as nuclear missiles. We are a religion of peace, as Islam itself means 'peace' in Arabic.

Ya dig me? Cuz, if you don't, then go back home and Wikipedia ya'll.Peace out. Salam.

8. If that was the reply, then those detractors would go home and shut up and sleep. Ultimately making their protests a failure. The problem is this, we easily fooled to play their game. They are dangling the carrot, and most people are jumping for it. They say jump and we ask how high.

9. The problem is nothing new. Athens, for example was the last EU capital to have a house of worship for Muslims. The problem lies deeper than minarets or mosques. For example, the protests in Switzerland were accompanied with accusations of Islamic oppression on women. So, do they consider women with bikini, half naked with guys all around as being full of freedom? You see, that's why this freedom vs oppression thing don't exist. What we consider as freedom might be deemed as oppression by someone else. I would certainly react differently to bans on the hijab, as it is connected directly to our faith.

10.This stems from their misunderstanding of Islamic teachings, which could equally be blamed to some Muslims who have not shown the true identity of Islam. All they see is the Islam in the mainstream media. Taliban, Al-Qaeda. All the lies in prime time television. Islamophobia is on the rise, and if we don't clarify the situation, the condition will become worse.

11.About mosques in Malaysia, there exists, let's say, a minor discrimination of sorts due to the racial tensions there. I heard a lecture by a Chinese convert to Islam, Hussein Ye it was, if i am not mistaken, who suggested a Chinese Mosque to be built in Malaysia because those Chinese people who are interested about Islam shy away from the Malay mosques because they believed that Islam is exclusive to Malays alone. That they are not welcomed there at all.

12. Some people think that mosques are exclusive to Muslims alone. Well, they are wrong. According to one of Ahmad Deedat's lectures, the Arabs who are not that tolerant started this tradition of not allowing non Muslims to enter the mosque. The Prophet himself allowed a Christian group 'to sleep, eat and discuss' in Masjid Nabawi, and even offered them some time to pray there on the final day of their visit. Are we turning into Arabs, or are we becoming Muslims the way the prophet taught us to?

13. There are times when we should play the defensive game, and i think with the hostile atmosphere in Europe, they have to humbly accept the rulings, unless it contradicts Islamic beliefs. And if the law contradicts Islamic beliefs, try to explain to them in a good diplomatic manner, a moderate voice which neither demands nor asks, but a voice of wisdom.

14. Wallahualam.

I'm rather picky, when it comes to music or anything related to it. After years of listening to music, i have developed a sense of discrimination pertaining to what enters my ear. And i have to say, i rarely listen to the Qur'an recitations. But i really love this guy's voice and rendition. His name is Mishary Al-'Afasy.

And so, i tried or am trying to stop listening to music once and for all, not because i believe it's a Freemason conspiracy ala The Arrivals, just that i think i have passed that age and it had consumed a large portion of my youthful life. But i still listen to some music. What music does to me down the years, is that,biologically it produces this constant stream of endorphins, which are naturally produced morphins in the body. Now go wiki morphine abuse. And i was intoxicated with music. I tried all kinds of music to whet my audio appetite. In other words, it was a constant state of finding a better drug in the form of music to get me high. Ya feel me?

I'm not saying that this applies to everybody, but it's just a personal explanation of my own experience. And the first step of stopping addiction, is to admit you're one of them.

Music addicts Anonymous : First session.

'Now, circle up and let's introduce ourselves.'

'Hi. My name is Afiq Fikri Azmi of Japanese ancestry. And i'm a music addict.'

'Everyone, say hi to Mr. Afiq.'

'Hi Mr. Afiq. We are music addicts too.'

Too much of anything is not good. When you're overfed, you get all too tired and eventually doze off. And all that metal, punk, emocore, jazz, weird music (all of Mike Patton's music are super weird!) got the better of me. There needs to be limitations, control. There was a time when music controlled me, that i would wait impatiently for the new album of some rock band to come out.

Pertaining to music or entertainment in general, there are 2 hadiths i would like to cite. Both are from Sahih Bukhari.

1. Narrated Aisha: Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) came to my house while two girls were singing beside me the songs of Buath (a story about the war between the two tribes of the Ansar, the Khazraj and the Aus, before Islam). The Prophet (p.b.u.h) lay down and turned his face to the other side. Then Abu Bakr came and spoke to me harshly saying, "musical instruments of Satan near the Prophet (p.b.u.h) ?" Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) turned his face towards him and said, "Leave them." When Abu Bakr became inattentive, I signalled to those girls to go out and they left. It was the day of 'Id, and the Black people were playing with shields and spears; so either I requested the Prophet (p.b.u.h) or he asked me whether I would like to see the display. I replied in the affirmative. Then the Prophet (p.b.u.h) made me stand behind him and my cheek was touching his cheek and he was saying, "Carry on! O Bani Arfida," till I got tired. The Prophet (p.b.u.h) asked me, "Are you satisfied (Is that sufficient for you)?" I replied in the affirmative and he told me to leave.

2. Narrated Abu 'Amir or Abu Malik Al-Ash'ari: that he heard the Prophet saying, "From among my followers there will be some people who will consider illegal sexual intercourse, the wearing of silk, the drinking of alcoholic drinks and the use of musical instruments, as lawful...".

And so, from the first hadith, there are 2 forms of entertainment. One, a song about the battle between Aus and Khazraj before Islam came, unIslamic, i do not think it is nasyeed, most probably some poetry with Arabic melodies. Second, is the visual entertainment, a Shields and Spears performance by an ethnic group. This conversation in this hadith was taking place during the Eid celebration and the Prophet certainly enjoyed himself, with the expression "Carry on! O Bani Arfida."

The second, actually contradicts the first, from what i understand, in which the Prophet claimed that there will be people who consider playing musical instruments as lawful. And events which led to the second hadith were not mentioned. It is rather a general statement which needs further studying, especially with the use of the word 'lawful' (how do we discern what is lawful and what is not? What are the parameters? How lawful is lawful?). And i am in no position to explain that.

And so, to say that music is all in all unlawful is wrong, because it contradicts the first hadith. But it's just that at times i think we are overentertained, the way we are sometimes being overfed with all kinds of food, which turns something good, to being bad or time wasting.

All i can say is, take the moderate path, try to limit what you consider as time wasting events in your life, list down your priorities and remember, the first command of Allah in the Qur'an is 'Read, in the name of thy Lord and Cherisher.'

Hope you all enjoyed the recital above. :)