Islamic Pillars Production Presents the event of the year

An Ibadah decreed by Allah ages ago, a month blessed by His will

"When Ramadan begins, the gates of Paradise are opened."- Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. (narrated by Abu Hurairah)


30 days of fasting* from Fajr (dawn) til Maghrib (sunset)

Guest appearances:
30 nights of tarawih
Lailatul Qadr 97 : 1-5 (special appearance)

2 : 183 O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint


*terms and conditions apply
I opted for ginseng tea while they served me with a 20 minute video portraying the life of a woman who thought her hair loss was caused by the big C. Yun Nam interviewed her after the treatment and she recalled her dreadful situation, and started to cry in an attempt to inject sympathy in the heart of viewers.

I felt sympathetic. Not for the woman, but for the poor level of acting from her. She deserved a sympathy for her failure to try and lure me to believe that this treatment would work.

Utterly pathetic. Maybe she deserved some kind of an award.

Yes, i was there to treat my hair loss, which i thought was normal.

"It runs in the family."

The lady in front of me, who talked as fast as a bullet train asked, "Try to compare yourself with your classmates, do you still think it's normal?"

"Here's the thing. You know Ronaldinho and his teeth. He could have worn braces but he never did. Ribery? The French footballer? He has a scar along the side of his face, but with his money he could not only affort a plastic surgery, he could even afford to buy a new face for himself! The word here is C-O-N-T-E-N-T. Content. I spelled that for you. I'm here due to my ardent belief that paradise is beneath a mother's sole, and my mum asked me to come here. In other words, coming to this place is one of the tickets to get to paradise. I don't want to hurt her feelings although i've been a wacko of a son."

Which she could have probably replied, "But you're neither Ronaldinho or Ribery."

But as predicted, that was only my subconscious mind flowing. I faked a gleeful expression and answered, "Yes, compared to my friends i don't think it's normal to lose hair at 23."

I lied and she happily agreed.

She proceeded to ask me how often do i shampoo and i answered, "Everyday."

Then she scanned my hair. Last night i had slept over at my friend's apartment in Kota Damansara and since i woke up late, i didn't take my bath and went straight to Subang Parade for the appointment.

And so the scan showed an oily and dirty scalp. I was a bit embarrassed but deep inside i was laughing hysterically. ["My God! Whose hair is on that screen!?"]But really, i do shampoo everyday and she asked again just to confirm it. I suddenly thought of the days when i used to wear braces and remembered the times when i would intentionally eat and not brush my teeth before appointments. All those chicken or meat or fish would get stuck in between those metal plates and my teeth and the orthodontist would get a bit angry.

So, if one day, i get patients with weird habits, then i should not even mutter a complaint. That's karma chasing me back, following me every step of my life for my sins against the hair care specialist and orthodontist. Only God knows what kind of patients i might have in the future.

Note : Kids and adults, don't even try to follow the bad example i've given above.

She mentioned while motioning to the screen that my sebaceous glands were producing too much oil, some pores have closed, and my baby hair were dropping. Each pore was supposed to spring out 3-5 strands of hair, mine were only 2 for most of the pores. "Maybe it was due to tension or emotional stress."

I can't remember myself having emotional stress 3 years back when it started. If her statement has truth in it, then it might be due to the taunts i faced from Manchester United supporters for the past 3 years which i would deem 'quite stressful'. I wanted to explain to her Mendellian genetics; that it was all in the family from both sides of my parents but i forgot what it was all about. Excessive, recessive, dominant. Even if i could remember the theory, it would be a waste of time explaining.

In the end, she offered a home treatment since i could not make it to her saloon every week. It was quite expensive, too expensive for my liking and i told my mum it was not worth saving my hair for such amount of money. She said she's the one paying. For me to give suggestions on how to spend that money in a better way would be insulting.

Remember kids, 'syurga di bawah tapak kaki ibu.' Even if you're a punk (like me), you need to heed your momma's sayings. Even when you think it's not that beneficial for you.
"How's work?"

"It's not a noble profession. But my results qualified me for a limited range of courses, and that was one of them."

"Then why are you still in it?"

"Because i'm not a noble person. I am known for my abilities to twist things around. Opinions are sacred man. Nobody is wrong in an argument."

"Any plans for a migration?"

"Australia. It's the ideal place for me."

"Don't you feel obliged to serve your country, your people?"

"What did the country give me that i should suddenly become charitable and serve it? Yes, i took the scholarship but i can't get rich working for the government. You'd better get out of this place."

"Well, i might not be ambitious, but i still feel there's a need to serve the people."

"That's you. When you later find out that the country doesn't give a damn of your existence, then you will regret not heeding my advice."

"You are not doing something to expect anything in return. I've been to local hospitals and when you see those people suffering, certainly there's an urge to stay in the country."

"You can still serve aborigines while you're in Australia. And please, do become a cardiologist since i may have some cardio problems later on. I'm stressed out of my work. Lying constantly."

"Stop smoking then."

"Either way, i will still get those heart diseases."

"I'm promoting a healthier lifestyle because that's what my future profession is all about."

"Take it this way. You want to get to point A. Someone travels by land, you by sea, me by air. We'll get to the destination no matter what."

"Well at least you're cancelling out one risk factor."

"I will still get there. To destination A."


"It's different you know thinking back how we grew up in Kedah. A guy like me, if i had grown up here in KL, then that would be a recipe for destruction. I could have turned out to be heartless."

"Good to know you still have a heart."

"I still have plans for marriage."

"Coming from a guy like you, that's pretty weird."

"Like i said, a guy like me could have become someone heartless if the environment was hellish enough. Environmental factors, you know, things around you that shape who you really are."

"You're one lunatic guy, demented. What about pre-enupts? Have they started to practice it here in Malaysia?"

"It's stupid man. That thing. It's like you're thinking of the possibilities of a divorce even before you tie the knot. That idea will rot your head and eventually,it will happen."

"I see."

"I've been a paranoid myself. I think of all the worst case scenarios in my life and sometimes they get the better of me. I'm thinking few steps ahead but it does give you the creeps."

"You need to see a psychiatrist. Not a psychologist."

"Beats me. I need to do some spying. A husband is cheating on her wife. See you later. Maybe in 5 years time. I wonder what will happen then."

"Yea. 5 years."
This is.

100th post. So what? It might not be special for you, but it is for me!

Well i had a dizziness out of nowhere while browsing through the books at Borders [Times Square]. Unwrapped books, wi-fied (curi line starbucks through my iPhone), not a lot of people there. What more can you ask for. It was a library. But as i was reading some sufi works by Rumi and Hafiz, i became dizzy, lost a lil balance and came back home. Now the headache persists.

Actually i've written more than that for the past hmm...10 months i guess. I had another 2 blogs, 'Between Faith and football' and a religion-themed (Islam to be precise) blog. Closed down both of them.

I kinda regret closing down faith and football, because i lost some stuff which i considered funny and honest. And i wrote that in bahasa Melayu which was kinda new to me.

Thought of closing this one down to a few months back, but a few friends asked me to keep on writing.

I was so flattered when i met a Malaysian student currently studying in Bandung. He told me he visited my blog for a number of times. He didn't praise my writings, but he mentioned that he recognized me by my name and the description i made of myself; i described myself as a handsome Japansese looking guy.

Hola! I do look Japanese! What a recognition!

I don't think i need a million people telling me to continue writing. A few people are enough to convince me to go on. But having a million people reading your blog would be wonderful. But for the writings to be benificial, i need to work harder.

I'm quite ambitious and demand a lot from myself when it comes to writing.

[ah poyola kau, ambitious kepala hangguk! perasan nak tulis novel, chapter 1 pon terbengkalai sudah]

A good writer knows his audience and decides on a suitable language level, tone of the writings (high or low, formal or informal). Then he or she needs to develop a style. To come out with an original transmitting voice. If the transmitter (the writer) becomes too artsy and ambiguous, then the receiver (the readers) won't be able to comprehend. (all these notes are from Reader's Digest 'How to Write and Speak Better')

Well, i've been trying to do such things. To write emotional stuff. And the only one i could come out with was the one about father's day. I thought that was a nice piece. Because i cried while i wrote it.

Does it signify that i need to cry more while i write?

But i'm not going to stop here, for complacency kills.

I don't know whether i will be able to continue writing later on in my life. But for now, i will still be churning out useless writings worth reading.

Thanks. I really appreciate your visiting my blog and wasting part of your lives reading it.
Will one day robots rule the world, when all humanity has lost its cause?

Will there be street demonstrations against robots, for robbing all the jobs from humans?

"Hapuskan robot-robot! Hidup Manusia!"

And the robots would chuckle,"we are not even alive!".

The factories will be loaded with robots, which in the future would come cheap. Their precision is undeniably sharp. Their discipline is infinite : no complains, no fuss. Just work 24/7. No more riots from workers demanding a pay rise.

And the Honda Asimo robot is able to move freely like a human being.

Will there be robodoctors and nurses?

But what if the 'circuits duplicate emotion'? Do they have to abide to Isaac Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics? Heck, do they even acknowledge Asimov in the first place?! Do they have the instincts to find out who created them, like human beings finding God?

[But there are too many atheists around]

What if they learn to have feelings, will there be intergalactic marriage between a human being and a robot?

And finally, if technology allows us to live forever by downloading all the memories and brain power into microchips as suggested by Dino Cazares the Fear factory guitarist (a industrial metal band), would you choose this option?

Having solid metal bodies and a work precision that beats a neurosurgeon. A computerised version of yourself.

I would still have to say, 'No'.
I usually try not to write about myself too much, because i do believe i lead an ultra-boring and mundane life. I've gone on to read blogs and marvel at the interesting lives of their writers, full of drama and emotions.

I am pretty much a very homely guy and i always wonder why people like to go out so much. The weather in the house is always nice. And at 11.09 AM, i am in still in my house rather than hanging out at shopping malls around KL.

What the heck. Well, now let's talk about food. You see how mundane i am? I am telling you what i'm gonna write about. Just like a Physics lesson when the teacher goes,

"Today, we are going to speak about Bernoulli's Principle and its application in modern day science."

Sigh. How formal that is!

My eldest sister has been lactose intolerant for quite some time.

After living for more than half of a century, only then, my mama decided to join the bandwagon and became lactose intolerant. She was able to take milk before, but now she would end up having bouts of diarrhea in the toilet. Not that it was an off/on switch, but that's genetics for you. Mendel and all that jazz (i've grown to like this phrase).

And as for me, i've joined the club a few months back when i had to travel back and forth to the toilet after taking a bottle of milk. After a few more experimentation and inquiries to family members, i finally realized i also had an intolerance towards milk but my switch is turned off at the age of 23. I used to gulp litres and litres of HL chocolate milk, but now i can't quite do so. It starts to rumble and mumble and growl after awhile.

All 3 of us also respond negatively to the intake of yellow mee/noodles with trips to the toilet. This maybe due to the boric acid produced while boiling the noodles.

But one thing about my family is that we are not really adventurous in the food universe, that is to say,we rarely try out new foods/cuisines. All four of us (mama, my 2 sisters and me).

My sister Aiza would usually choose 'Tom Yam'.
My mama, Meehoon Soup.
My sister Azreen, i think is by far the most adventurous in this field between the four of us and she tends to be quite unpredictable and takes her time to read menus.
Me, anything which i have tried before in my life.

So as a result, when someone invites me for a dine-out and asks for suggestions, a typical answer you could expect is,

"Aku tak kesah (I don't mind)." I do mean it. Like i am being 110% honest when i say this.

Like if you're going to try something new, something that sounds sophisticated and suddenly you get the opposite, your hopes of having a good meal fall down to pieces (Kabooosh!) and all you get is merely a false satisfaction of satiety. Perhaps, i am not a risk taker with foods.

But then again, who am i to complain? My taste buds or the part of brain which recognizes tastes are not working. So all i get is purely a sense of satiety. The only thing my brain really recognizes is the chilli flavour. That hot and spicy taste is really meaningful as it is the only food i could really appreciate.

Therefore, i don't think i could really turn out to be an excellent cook. Good? Yes. Excellent? Maybe. Anything is possible, just that i am lazy to learn to cook all those extravagant meals.

But with food, it's not just purely satisfaction of it all. We eat accordingly, appropriately.

As narrated by Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "The food for two persons is sufficient for three, and the food of three persons is sufficient for four persons." (Sahih Bukhari)

And in another hadeeth,

Narrated by Abu Huraira: A man used to eat much, but when he embraced Islam, he started eating less. That was mentioned to the Prophet who then said, "A believer eats in one intestine (is satisfied with a little food)...." ( Sahih Bukhari)

And so, there had been dietary laws which were mentioned by the Prophet, but we tend to cross the line and eat til we are superbly full. Phew. "I mean, of course we have to try and eat as much as possible right why we are still alive. We need that extra energy to sleep. Sleeping also needs energy. I read that in some book".

But of course, there is a difference between eating a lot and trying out new food. While i applaud the latter effort, as it actively invovles the mind (sweet, sour, too much salt, suggestions to make the food better), i myself am struggling with the former. I do exceed my own expectations when i eat. Bear in my mind what was mentioned in the Quran.

7 : 31 O Children of Adam! wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer: eat and drink: But waste not by excess, for Allah loveth not the wasters.

And so, i wish i could be more health savvy and eat more natural than aritificial food, peel the skin off any piece of chicken (exception for KFC, for it would be a waste of money not to eat KFC skin), take less oily food and munch more vegetables and fruits. Maybe i should find out alternative recipes as i find Malay recipes to be too unhealthy at times.

What? Health savvy? That's far off the radar.

Let's go eat KFC.

Now when i feel down i think of Nick Vujicic and be thankful for whatever i have.

God's miracles are unlimited. And his ability to keep on living and be happy and content is just wonderful.

It gives a good motivation for life.
Now my holidays have officially started, meaning i've got nothing much important on my calender, except for a few meetings with friends, old acquaintances.

Will probably read a few novels and to study them thoroughly to understand the dynamics of their writings and creativity.

Like i always say, "you've got to start somewhere". The oft-repeated phrase of mine.

A dose of Mikhail Bulgakov. Few tablespoons of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. Dozens of Don DeLillo. A pinch of Chuck Palahniuk. Kurt Vonnegut. Maybe a few drops of Murakami.

Dan mungkin, jika berkesempatan, "Tenggelamnya Kapal van Der Wijck" oleh HAMKA.

I really enjoyed Haruki Murakami's short story, "On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning."

I will be guided by "how to write and speak better" by Reader's Digest.

And i'm trying to learn Arabic slowly. It's chronically slower than a tortoise with 2 fractured legs.

[Insert my favourite quote here]

Thought of going to Kelantan, but as usual, time is of the essence here, and in this moment, time is envious of me.

Now. Hopefully i will fare better with my self working hours. More discipline.

I used to be associated with that word. But i would love to be associated with much more meaningul words.

Like, "handsome". Or "Good looking".

Ok now. Start.
And so there i was, with a mosquito repellent in my room by the side of my bed and a source of pendaflour light above my head. Another night, another repellent burns. The exquisite smell expelled reminded me of ancient times, an ancient remedy to ward off ghosts, who were actually mosquitoes siphoning blood out of human veins, and flying off drunk.

The repellent gave quite a stingy taste to the nose, but i am used to smoke, as i was a passive smoker in a previous life.

The hut i was living in was asthenic in nature, like a frail, thin man showing off his skeletal anatomy. The exoskeleton of the house bore naked, the basis of which looked pretty fragile to any storm. The house could have probably flown to Pattaya if a heavy storm was to hit Perlis. And the veins and nerves were visible in the form of electrical wiring and piping seen across the house.

I hung my shirts, pants, towel and t-shirts on the nails implanted to the walls of the room.

To the corners of the cochlear, the sound transmitted was a mixture of chitchats from the TV set, frogs croaking and ribbitting(ribbit.ribbit), geeses quacking, buzzes of flaps from a mosquito, lizards strutting their own sounds and all that jazz. Minus the TV set, it would have been a symphony of nature, an orchestra of some sort. Maybe jazz, Coltrane, Miles Davis but not Kenny G.

On the second night i met a spider who was as big as a racoon, baby racoon. Being arachnophobic, i almost panicked but kept cool and as i was reading the last few chapters of Reza Aslan's No God but God, i remembered of the chpater al-Ankabut from the Quran, which means 'The Spider'.

29 : 41 The likeness of those who take (false deities as) Auliya' (protectors, helpers) other than Allah is the likeness of a spider who builds (for itself) a house; but verily, the frailest (weakest) of houses is the spider's house - if they but knew.

I stood there and watched as the spider clumsily wandered off in between the wooden walls.

I was there for my practicals and in 12 months time, God willingly, insya Allah i will be starting work. There's still this love/hate relationship that i have with the profession that deals with life/death. I love to help save the day and make people's lives much happier by helping them to gain better health, but at the same time i'm scared of the possibilities of being responsible for one's death.

10 : 56 It is He Who gives life, and causes death, and to Him you (all) shall return.

And there in the hospital, i saw my first ever death in front of my very eyes. The patient should have been defibrillated but due to his wife's decision not to allow the procedure as it would 'hurt the soul/body,' of his husband, all the doctors were able to do was to resuscitate him to death. And so, the tears started flowing like a monsooned river coming down from a cliff. Well, not really.

But i was asking myself, IF i was in that position, should i go on defibrillating without the wife's consent and tell her, "it's my job" or just let it all go that way. Let fate decide. I am still pondering the borders between fate, mistakes and choices that we make. You could easily say it was fate, but at times you might start to think it was your mistakes that led to the consequences.

The greatest skill to obtain is to brush aside the dejection of death. That sheer downward spiral especially if it was due to your mistakes. I wonder whether i could handle it.

46 : 15 And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship. And she brings him forth with hardship, and the bearing of him...

Besides that, i witnessed the miracle of birth. No wonder the dignity of a mother is 3 times more than a father, according to the Prophet. Childbirth is a strenuous and painful process, one of the things i would never experience unless i decide to have a full blown sex changing operation in the future. But then again, i saw an intrauterine death with macerated skin, the skin peeling off and exposing some flesh of the insides and a miscarriage of about 21 weeks.

There's still a long way to go in life and i'm at the starting point and raring to go. But some things have opened my eyes and made me realize how lucky i am, again and again..

And as the final dusts of the repellent settle down, i finally left Perlis with a hatful of memories to treasure.

PS : Rainy season's here in Alor Setar.. 2 : 164 Verily! In the creation of the heavens and the earth, and in the alternation of night and day, and the ships which sail through the sea with that which is of use to mankind, and the water (rain) which Allah sends down from the sky and makes the earth alive therewith after its death, and the moving (living) creatures of all kinds that He has scattered therein, and in the veering of winds and clouds which are held between the sky and the earth, are indeed Ayat (proofs, evidence, signs, etc.) for people of understanding.