Rat race, we're all in it.

A lawyer friend was planning to migrate. His degrading demeanor suggested that Malaysia isn't quite the place for him. It had been quite some time since i last met him. Some things changed about him, but he is still the classmate i knew from way back in Alor Setar.

My friend's dad had a heart attack few weeks back.

In 8 months' time, insya Allah, God willingly, a friend will become a dad. He opened a restaurant in Jitra.

Some friends got married. (while i was writing this line, a friend who tied the knot last summer appeared online on Yahoo Messenger. Congratulations Encik Ikram Rauhi if you're reading this. And to Matpih, happy anniversary, dah setahun kot kawin)

Most of them are becoming capitalistic and are making good money out of their lives.

The atmosphere of chitchats have dramatically changed. Our conversations meandered through the realms of job opportunities and political instabilities. Economics. Family.

Questions like, 'should i vote for the corrupted coalition and risk the chance of going to heaven or for the opposite which is slowly disintegrating inside out; a marriage of conveniance?'.

You don't talk much about these a few years back. It was the same thing over and over again. People asking how is Russia, how are your studies. It used to be, 'Have you listened to the new Korn album?' or 'Did you watch this or that movie?'. But here is where it gets interesting. You have friends that work and they offer you more insight on how life is.

A friend working in a large telecommunications company is being seduced by a sugar mama who sits much higher in the feudalistic hierarchy of a workplace. "Those scenes in those cheap Malay dramas, they're real man." This friend of mine has traveled to Sweden and Dubai for working purposes.

I was sitting with another friend and we chatted of him. "I never saw him as a marketing agent. He never talked much." And i replied, "me either".

But it was another inquisition that kicked that sensation of feeling old inside of me.

People were asking, 'how's your mom doing?'. Virtually every old acquaintance asked me the same question. The question stimulated me so much that i am trying to make it a habit of asking the same question to my friends in every chatting session.

If that question doesn't kick the pre historic or jurassic feelings, then i don't know what will. You do realize that life travels fast and that you yourself are getting older.

Even a look on my face may suggest a man facing his midlife crisis. The baldness. The beard. These visualisations might translate as, "a 40 year old, suffering from depression and marital problems.'

Not quite, but in a sense i do feel old. Now i take less food than before (or am i being delusional here?). As they say, health is wealth. I do think of buying property somewhere in a big city or a car. Work, financial planning, further studies. The evolution, i guess, is natural.

It was funny how i wished to become an adult when i was younger, and now, i am yearning to go back to my teenage years when everything was carefree.

57 : 20 Know that the life of this world is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children. (It is) as the likeness of vegetation after rain, thereof the growth is pleasing to the tiller; afterwards it dries up and you see it turning yellow; then it becomes straw...

It used to be carefree alright, kids only play and play without knowing what bills are and how much do they need to pay. And as you grow older, you start to have hobbies or interests; you start to become proud of your comics' collection or your football skills or musical abilities. Then you think of wealth for you and your family later on. That is basically what the verse above is trying to explain, as mentioned by Nouman Ali Khan in a lecture on YouTube.

Those are the pleasures of life and responsibilities come along. But these are not the ultimate goals of life. Probably later you will realize that these are merely material gains which will not be fruitful without a good conscious and guidance, that they may later become useless yellow and dried leaves falling off an autumn tree.

That's how life is. It could be quite deceiving at times.

I find it heart warming that some friends were asking me about my mom during conversations. Maybe i'm just a little too sentimental. But hey, everyone is getting older with each second gone by.

So yeah, i hope you guys out there are okay and hopefully your families are in great shape.