Felt rather sick these past few days. A slight fever going on. And euphoric at times.

There was a moment of emotional instability. I hesitated traveling after my mom told me she would peek at places where my cat would usually lay down only to find Teh not being there.

And so i asked, 'would it be better for me to go back to Malaysia this winter?'

She replied, 'I'm fine. I like you traveling more than doing nothing at home.'

Because she knows me well enough. I'll sleep my butt off at home most of the time. I remember her asking me last summer..

'Bilanya nak pi Jakarta. Beli la Air Asia.' (When are you going to Jakarta. Just buy Air Asia.)

I told her i wanted to visit a friend at Jakarta but ended up spending my summer holidays doing, well, nothing much actually.

I need my mom more than she needs me. A holiday in Malaysia in winter would be much more meaningful for me than her. But i do hope both they are coping with the loss of Teh.