Once you step out of your room, leaving behind the comforts and the indulgences, be mindful that you've agreed to enter the realm of an endless rat race in the population.

It's nothing like an F1 race when you have to accelerate in a short period of time, but it's more like Dakar Rally, an endurance and mind straining race with all the surprises of nature (deserts, dunes and canyons) along the way.

Yes. It's a competitive world we're living in. A long and hard race for the prize, whatever the prize is.

Winning, succeeding is on everyone's agenda and it pushes people to the limit of their frontiers. Businesses have to compete with each other to offer the best offers, services and products. That guy drinking coffee sharing jokes with you in the office, he's a nemesis too.

But i'm not that competitive to be honest. That's why, i hypothesize that i'm not that good at sports. For fun and recreation, that's ok. I've only represented my primary school in tennis and won the gold medal in the doubles event. In the singles' event, i was knocked out at the first hurdle. That gold medal was down to the fact that my partner was representing Malaysia at the junior levels, winning regional competitions here and there. What a talent he was. Sadly, he got the big C and passed away when he was merely 15/16.

In sports, i would rather lose than to blame the referee or other conditions, or even act like brainless wackos. In the end you could only put the blame on yourselves for whatever went wrong.

Years of supporting Liverpool FC have made me sterile to losing in sports i guess. I just won't complain about other teams much, except that Liverpool weren't good enough. I've ranted on forums on how Liverpool should improve in certain areas especially their mentality in order to succeed like Liverpool. Constructive criticism rather than blind support.

The problem is, there are some who can't understand when to say they have lost. I've got loads of good friends who support Manchester United and these guys know when to say Man. Utd are second best when they perform poorly. But there are some who go emotional over losses and can't handle losing as if their lives depended on it.

But that's football for you. Last night Drogba was a disgrace, showing the bad side of football when things go wrong. Is that what you call being competitive Mr. Drogba? Take a look at Lampard who swapped shirts with Iniesta, acknowledging defeat with grace.

Part of the competitive edge, for me, is admitting when you're second best and to try to improve for future times.

In my secondary school days, my Geography teacher complained to my mom that i was too quiet and would be the last to answer any question posed by her.

But then again, i've seen the competitiveness of people gone bad. Take for example the Russian examinations in which we are required to answer orally. Some who are not able to answer their initial questions will ask for extra questions from the lecturer in order to get that illustrious mark, '5' written on their report cards. It's nothing wrong with that, but when they don't get that mark, they whine like kids who are denied of their ice creams. Lecturer this, lecturer that. Questions were not in the list. So on and so forth. Some go to great lengths to gain the lecturer's attention so that they will be recognised when the exams come around.

In the end, i think i need to have this competitive edge when i start to work later. In the medical world, housemen need to answer questions and volounteer ourselves to do this and that. And if we keep our mouths shut too much, we might be labelled uncompetitive and therefore might be targeted later on.

Gosh, how much i need to change.

PS : I'm living in a gruelling moment of my life. Got forms and more forms to fill up and to pass up tomorrow yet i'm occupying myself with the internet.